He makes friends easily and is doing well in school, including participating in clubs. His favorite classes are computers and gym and he likes to read the Dog Man book series. A phrase he says represents him is “never give up, win or lose!”

His favorite season is spring, because it’s nice and warm. Justin Bieber is his favorite musical artist, and cheese is Josh’s favorite pizza topping. Joshua also likes to draw and watch scary movies.

Joshua has expressed that he would like a family with siblings and pets. He hopes that they will be a sport-loving family and will play football and basketball with him. Josh currently visits with his birth parents and would have visits after placement. Visiting resources will also be considered, as Josh will benefit from developing a relationship with a family prior to them becoming an adoptive placement.

To learn more about adoption from foster care visit www.mareinc.org . Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) can give you guidance and information on the adoption process. Reach out today to find out all the ways you can help children and teens in foster care.

A. If you have been reading this column, you know that I don’t say you have to be buddies with your ex, but you do have to learn to cordially interact with each other if the kids are going back and forth between homes. Many parents forget to put Halloween in the parenting plan. That causes all sorts of grief, so good for you for having a plan for an important day for your kids. Sadly, it sounds like navigating the plan is a problem.

In order to help you “put the kids first,” (Ex-etiquette for Parents rule No. 1) I’d like to remind you of a very important distinction — it’s not “your time” with the kids, nor is it mom’s time with the kids. It’s your child’s time with you. They are the ones who must share their time.

So, this is how you decide about where the kids should trick-or-treat: Ask yourself, where would the kids rather be? I did not say to ask the kids. That would put them right in the middle of their parents, having to pick one over the other. But you know your children. If you put your self-interests aside, you know the answer.

Halloween is a night your children trick-or-treat with friends — and their parents, of course — but the real fun is hanging with friends late into the evening on a school night and eating way too much sugar. So, if most of their friends live near you, making them trick-or-treat in another neighborhood they aren’t used to just because mom and dad can’t get over themselves seems selfish to say the least. Pick the neighborhood you know the children would prefer and let them have their Halloween with the parent who lives in that neighborhood overseeing the festivities.

Dr. Jann Blackstone is the author of “Ex-etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After Divorce or Separation,” and the founder of Bonus Families, bonusfamilies.com./ Tribune News Service

I asked my ex if she would agree to stop child support so I can directly help Emily more now, but she said she and her new husband just bought a new house which has an extra bedroom for Emily so she needs the money to pay her mortgage.

Is there anything I can do to reduce my child support? It seems wrong I am paying for my former wife’s mortgage with her new husband so she can provide a bedroom for Emily if Emily chooses to visit.  Is it worth going back to court?

A. Unfortunately my answer is a resounding “probably.”  You can file a complaint for modification asking to reduce and/or eliminate child support alleging that Emily is emancipated meaning she is not living with either you or your ex-wife.  If Emily was returning home during all of her breaks to one of you, she would be domiciled with you and likely still be unemancipated.

You should ask Emily if she has changed her voter registration so that she can vote in California and if she has changed her driver’s license to California.  Don’t involve her in the child support conversation because she does not need to feel the tug between her parents.

If she has done one or both of these things, you have now additional facts toward your conclusion that she is emancipated. If she has not taken these steps, wait until she has secured an internship/job for next summer.  When you know she has one and will not be coming home, you should file to terminate child support because you now have two summers of her living independently as evidence of emancipation.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com

Fred is a 12-foot-tall Home Depot skeleton — and he’s a hot commodity. The metal-framed monsters can be spotted this time of year towering over Colorado neighborhoods, from cityscapes to rural farmland.

Halloween fiends lucky enough to get their hands on the coveted décor can consider themselves members of an exclusive club; Home Depot won’t say how many of the skeletons it has sold, but Tyler Pelfrey, brand communications manager for the home-improvement giant, confirmed the behemoth box of bones has sold out every year since its 2020 debut.

Calls to Home Depot stores in Glendale, Colorado Springs, Pueblo and Fort Collins this week confirmed — occasionally with a harumph of incredulous laughter from a sales associate for even deigning to hope — that the 12-foot-tall skeleton was out of stock.

On Facebook Marketplace, price gougers across the metropolitan area were peddling the bipedal set of bones, which retails for $299, at prices between $350 and $599.

Has fame gone straight to the skeletons’ giant, plastic heads? Erin Moriarty-Siler doesn’t think so. Instead, Fred the Dead has brought residents of the Berkeley neighborhood in northwest Denver together, she said.

All Moriarty-Siler wanted for her and her husband’s eight-year anniversary this year was one of the 12-foot skeletons. The size and splendor were too much for a Halloween fanatic to pass up. The Denverite had been eyeing the big guy since he first went on sale three years ago, but the stars never aligned on securing one.

Moriarty-Siler thought her family missed the orthopedic opportunity again this year — until her husband came home with the huge box in the back of his car after striking a deal with a Facebook Marketplace reseller in Centennial.

The eighth anniversary is henceforth the bones anniversary in the Moriarty-Siler household.

“I immediately started sobbing,” said Moriarty-Siler, who happened to be wearing a skeleton shirt on the fateful day of Fred’s arrival. “It’s the best gift ever. It was kismet.”

Fred the Dead — Moriarty-Siler’s name for her bony buddy — was born that day with a crowd of awed neighbors assembled around the skeleton as it was erected into the sky, joining other holiday ornaments including more minuscule bony figurines, pumpkins and witch hats scattered around their yard.

Like many who manage to nab the giant skeleton, Moriarty-Siler plans to leave Fred up year-round, theming him in seasonally appropriate ways with Santa hats, Valentine hearts and the like.

“I’ll reach out and high-five him”

Loveland’s Kerri Sewolt is another skeleton year-rounder — mostly because Sewolt doesn’t know how else to store the heavyweight Halloween decoration.

“I don’t have an HOA, and I’m known as the Halloween Lady in my neighborhood anyway, so it’s fitting,” she said.

Sewolt has been the proud owner of a giant Home Depot skeleton since 2021 after being beguiled by its stature the first time she laid eyes on one a year prior.

Last summer, Sewolt received a complaint from a neighbor who was trying to sell their home, she said, and asked Sewolt to take the skeleton down.

“My snarky neighbor moved away and, luckily, the people who bought her house love my year-round décor enough that they thought it was a sign to buy the house,” Sewolt said. “I love my skeleton. He makes me so happy. I’ll reach out to high-five him as I’m walking into the house and tell him, ‘Hey, stay sexy.’”

Sewolt had seen other giant skeleton displays where homeowners had dressed their Halloween centerpieces like oversized dolls. Determined, she purchased a 4XL-sized Hawaiian shirt and pantsuit for the summer months, but “failed miserably” when it came to figuring out how to get the fabric over the massive prop.

Nevertheless, Sewolt credits her skeleton for inspiring others in the neighborhood to go hard on their Halloween décor. Fellow giant skeletons have appeared in her ‘hood, much to Sewolt’s delight.

“I don’t think it’s a competition,” Sewolt said. “I think of it more as, like, a skeleton community, if you will.”

“No good place to store him”

Grand Junction’s Deb Kennard also believes it takes a village to raise a skeleton.

Someone in Kennard’s community — Kennard may or may not be privy as to who — purchased a hulking skeleton and has been moving the thing around the neighborhood at night to surprise the kids.

The skeleton in Kennard’s neighborhood — named Bob the Bones by the local children — is a cousin of the Home Depot variety; it’s 10 feet tall and hails from Walmart, where it was actually in stock as opposed to its taller Home Depot counterpart.

The network of neighbors toting Bob from yard to yard is tight-lipped to preserve the sanctity of the myth of the mobile skeleton, but Bob’s lore is growing taller than his frame.

One family somehow hauled Bob onto the roof and arranged him to appear like he was headed down the chimney. Another home gave Bob the garden hose to test out his green thumb. Another family popped a second skeleton on Bob’s shoulders.

“I don’t even know whose house he’s at now, and that’s great,” Kennard said. “It’s turned into a good thing. There’s no good place to store him, so he can just stay out forever.”

Similar to VW’s Atlas and other Atlas-like take-offs, their SUVs have a very rough ride, rough for the driver, passenger and all rows of seating, the suspension demands an overhaul. As other brands have accepted that comfort is priority and have swallowed the pill, Audi seems to have run out of water. Wrapped in Plasma Blue Metallic, the color is superb. A 285 mile full-charge is also witnessed on the Q8 e-tron and is reasonably priced compared to the stature of the luxury sport brand.

Aesthetically, the Audi Q8 e-tron quattro offers all-time all-wheel drive, has great exterior appearance while on the inside its typical Audi with its dual center-console screens for infotainment and comfort adjustments. Our tester came with the Prestige package that was just over $10K, the Black optic package and upgraded exterior paint.

In typical Audi fashion, the 2024 Q8 e-tron quattro is a fantastic all-electric SUV that boasts a lot of great features. While warranty/maintenance coverage helps justify the $70K plus base price tag, for a sporty vehicle lovers abound, power such as horsepower and torque are always the craze, but when it comes to loss of comfort, that just makes consumers bring out the t-chart and identifies what is more important in the needs and wants category.

Grasso’s Garage is here for you! Are you in the market for a new car? I would be happy to provide my honest input. All you have to do is email me: marc.grasso@bostonherald.com.

2024 Audi Q8 e-tron quattro

MSRP: $74,400

MPGe: 80 city / 83 highway / 81.5 as tested

As Tested: $88,990

We are accepting applications right now to be a part of this wonderful newer K-12 school. We are located near the Rourke Bridge off Middlesex Street in Lowell. Please check out our open houses on Nov 13 and Nov. 28 from 5-7 pm. You may also apply on our website at www.collegiatelowell.org

As our motto says at Collegiate, your child will be seen, be heard, and belong. We offer a strong college preparatory curriculum in a family-type atmosphere. The whole family can go to school together since we offer a kindergarten through 12th grade level program. New changes at Collegiate make our school even more appealing. Collegiate is upping its game when it comes to athletics. Mid-November we will be cutting the ribbon on a brand-new regulation-sized soccer field and we are also now offering football. Lowell Catholic and Collegiate Charter have formed a unique partnership. The partnership allows Collegiate players to play on the Lowell Catholic team.

The Collegiate Charter School of Lowell is capped at 1,200 students from K-12, and although they have other sports like basketball and volleyball they did not have enough students for a full football roster. This gives their students a chance to play for the first time. Collegiate Athletics Director Kyle Pelczar says, “It’s a great opportunity for our students to play and they are really excited to be part of the team. It’s teaching them that we can make great things happen if we pull together.” The co-op application was sponsored by Lowell Catholic as the host school and approved by the MIAA (Massachusetts Interscholastic Athletic Association), after first being approved by the Commonwealth Athletic Conference (CAC), Lowell Catholic’s athletic conference.

This report provided by Collegiate Charter School of Lowell

NDA is known for rigorous academics concentrated on STEAM, small class sizes, and personalized attention. The teacher to student ratio is 1:13 ensuring attention and support as students challenge themselves academically.

The Academy offers three levels of courses: College Preparatory, Honors, and Advanced Placement. All levels of instruction offer a rigorous college preparatory education that provides empowering opportunities and real-life applications. The vibrant community encourages student leadership.

Students take a minimum of four lab classes but gain real world experience visiting biotech, medical research, and engineering companies. Curriculum is further enhanced through guest speakers including forensic scientists, bio engineers, and other STEM professionals.

The Academy is proud to have received a $1 million gift in support of Pope Francis’ encyclical Laudato Si, which focuses on care for the natural environment and all people, as well as broader questions of the relationship between God, humans, and the Earth. This generous gift enabled NDA to build Merrimack Valley’s only geodome for environmental and sustainability programs, create a new Environmental Learning Lab, and add additional environmental science courses.

Over 50% of NDA graduates pursue degrees in the fields of science, technology, engineering, or math. Those fields have the fastest job growth, according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics.

The Academy serves as the educational partner for the Boston Hockey Academy, a tier I AAA program for boys. The unique course schedule enables BHA players to attend classes in-person in the morning and participate in practices and games in the afternoon. In addition to aspiring elite hockey players, NDA also supports students pursuing Division I figure skating and equestrian goals.

The Academy sits on 200+ acres with athletic fields, running trails and other amenities.  Over 50% of students play sports including Soccer, Basketball, Volleyball, Tennis, Golf, Swimming & Diving, Cross County, and Track & Field.

Clubs and activities include Model UN, NDA Playmakers Drama Guild, Mission & Ministry, Glee, Science Club, Slam Poetry, and more are also available.

All students benefit from a diverse student body – students at the Academy hail from many different areas: Massachusetts, New Hampshire, California, Ohio, and other countries such as Russia, Kazakhstan, Canada, and Latvia.

The priority deadline for admissions, financial aid, and merit scholarships is Dec. 31.  ndatyngsboro.org/admissions/ 978-649-7611, ext. 351.

This report provided by The Academy of Notre Dame Tyngsboro

According to the National Education Council, when parents get involved in their children’s education, those children are more likely to do better in school and be more positive about the school experience.

Consider these possibilities:

Attend school board meetings

Many community school boards are comprised entirely of volunteers who work with superintendents and other personnel to advocate for policies and procedures for students. Decisions typically are up for vote, and parents can run for school board positions or simply attend meetings each month and let their voices be heard about various issues.

Attend open houses and conferences

Parents can make every effort to get to know teachers and other staff. Putting faces to names can help parents develop a connection to teachers and vice versa. Most schools have back to school nights, meet the coaches opportunities, open houses, and parent-teacher conferences. Parents can ask teachers and other staff how they prefer to communicate.

Attend school events

Families can make it a point to support students in all endeavors. Whenever the opportunity to visit the school comes up – whether for a concert, sports game, trivia night, or fundraiser – parents can make an effort to attend.

Volunteer

When parents want to be involved even further, they can head committees at school or volunteer with the PTA or PTO. They also can help out in the cafeteria, library or in the main office. Parents who have particular skills may volunteer to provide tutoring or mentoring as needed. Furthermore, parents can volunteer in school-sanctioned extracurriculars, such as Scouts BSA or as sports coaches.

The shoemaker announced its release earlier this month – which it deems Croctober – attributing the boots’ development to demand from fans. Based on the number of people complaining online about the Crocs website going down Monday morning, it seems they’re poised to be a fan favorite.

A Crocs spokesperson declined to say how many pairs of the limited edition style are available, saying only that they are expected to sell out. By midday Monday, several sizes listed “only a few left” while larger sizes were listed as “coming soon.” By late afternoon, several sizes appeared to be sold out.

Despite that, reviews began pouring in several weeks ago on Crocs’ website. While it’s unclear how they were tried so soon (we’ve asked), the reviews are endlessly entertaining, with at least one citing the Crocs cowboy boots as the impetus for a divorce.

Here are the funniest reviews of the Crocs cowboy boots from the website.

Crocs? Boots? Croots

“Nothing says ‘yeehaw’ like having a pair of spiky wheels attached to your feet,” wrote reviewer sniktak from Atlanta. “Forget about subtlety – with these boots, you can jingle your way through life like a walking wind chime, ensuring that everyone within a ten-mile radius is well aware of your presence.”

Soon, soon

“Automatic Texan purchase,” said Texas-based reviewer They’ll Be Mine.

I would buy these again even though I was divorced

“When I first laid eyes on this I felt an immediate spark and pleasure staring at them. When I showed my boring old ass wife she side-eyed and told me she would divorce me if I bought a pair. Well guess what? She was not kidding. I bought a pair on a Sunday after church and my wife instantly handed me the house key and left,” reviewer Tucker Wilson of Montana wrote, in part. “The price is worth it but expensive if it causes a divorce. Attorneys are a pretty penny. When I walked into court everyone’s eyes fell upon my shoes. I graced that crowd with godly shoes. The Judge was deeply impressed and I knew I won the case.”

Fire drop

“These boots are like the love child of John Wayne and the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters. They’re so confused about their identity that they’ve become the fashion equivalent of an existential crisis,” said reviewer StylishGambino of Los Angeles. “They’re the fashion equivalent of a plot twist in a telenovela – utterly unexpected, yet strangely captivating. But here’s the kicker: They’ll hug your feet like a country love song.”

Yee Haw Croc Cowboys

“These are great to rustle up some cattle and gather my horses for a train robbery. Feel fancy, and they are 4-wheel drive so I can run fast,” wrote reviewer Cowboy Rick of The Pasture.

But in the meantime, the TV landscape is hardly a desert. There are new shows about Iron Chef-quality sushi, José Andrés and his family touring Spain, a five-star luxury hotel’s fancy kitchen and so much more.

In no particular order, here are seven shows about food you might want to start watching tonight.

Searching for Soul Food, Hulu

There’s no tireder food trope than calling soul food simple. It’s a complicated cuisine with a history spanning generations and continents. Here to unravel it is Alisa Reynolds, a classically trained chef from L.A. on a quest to investigate the “trauma and drama” of soul food.

The results are more upbeat than that sounds, thanks to Reynolds’ effervescent personality and comedic timing. The first season starts in Mississippi, where we learn how slaves transformed “elevated pet food, the scraps” into scrumptious recipes that persist to this day. The show’s interspersed with interviews, animations and historical reenactments – we meet James Hemings, Thomas Jefferson’s ex-slave chef, who put French fries on the American menu. And things literally take off when Reynolds gets in a jet to hunt for international soul food such as pizza in Naples, jerk in Jamaica and native-Japanese fusion Nikkei in Peru.

Morimoto’s Sushi Master, Roku

Do you have what it takes to serve delicious sushi to the Iron Chef himself? That’s the challenge on this new show in which Masaharu Morimoto, writer and chef Kenji López-Alt and Top Chef’s Dakota Weiss judge the sushi mastery of contestants vying for a $25,000 prize. (Tip: When serving raw fish, remove the scales first.)

Knives fly and sweat pours as contestants butcher fish, season rice and arrange plates of oceanic delights, all under Morimoto’s clucking supervision. Viewers might pick up handy tips – like how to open a live urchin with scissors – or recipes for kelp-cured kampachi and chirashi with hay-smoked aji.

“Sushi Master” is a visual delight for those who love Japanese cuisine. At one point, a chef holds a fat hunk of fish to his cheek and announces, “I love ahi tuna!” After watching all the close-up shots of glistening, artfully cut sushi, you will, too.

Lessons in Chemistry, Apple TV+

Oh, the indignity of being a female chemist in the 1950s. When your male colleagues aren’t calling you “sweetie” or mistaking you for a secretary, they’re suggesting you drop your life’s work to enter a beauty pageant. But scientist Elizabeth Zott has another future in store – one in which she’ll use her knowledge of amino acids and the Maillard reaction to helm a TV-cooking show, in this adaptation of Bonnie Garmus’ popular 2022 novel.

To say that “Lessons in Chemistry” takes a turn after its initial setup is an extreme understatement. There’s a descending stairway of head-spinning twists — and to go any farther would be spoiler territory. Let’s just say, Brie Larson nails her character of a quirky savant fighting the patriarchy, one who at home puts 70-plus experimental trials into baking the perfect lasagna. Oh, and there’s also a tear-jerker episode told from the perspective of the family dog, played by B.J. Novak. (You read that right.)

The Great British Baking Show, Netflix

Now in its fourteenth season, “The Great British Baking Show” isn’t new. But it does have a new host this season – Alison Hammond. A presenter on the UK’s “This Morning,” Hammond is the first person of color to host or judge the show. She replaces former host and comedian Matt Lucas.

Judging by the first several episodes of the season aired so far, Hammond is a supportive and calming presence in the notoriously stressful bakers’ tent. She appears to have restored the show’s hallmark friendliness and warmth, which has been noticeably absent in recent seasons. Last season drew widespread criticism on points that ranged from non-baking challenges to tone-deaf episodes such as last year’s controversial “Mexico Week.” Showrunners have announced they’re dropping nation-themed episodes and going back to basics.

Three episodes in, the bakers — who include early leaders Tasha Stones, the show’s first deaf baker, and engineer Dan Cazador — have baked cakes shaped like animals, illusion biscuits and complex braided breads for their showstopper challenges.

Five Star Chef, Netflix

The Langham is a five-star luxury hotel in London and, by George, guests must have the fanciest of foodstuffs! Enter seven contestants vying for head chef at the hotel’s Palm Court restaurant – but first they must impress Michel Roux, a two Michelin-starred chef. He’s a stickler for classical technique and prone to ding a bad dish by lamenting, “It pains me.”

Sometimes, he’s right to be pained. Each chef has a unique vision for the restaurant, whether it be Caribbean, Nordic or “Theatrical Dining Experience.” The latter chef serves things like Bondage Lobster (with tied-up claws and seaweed blindfolds) accompanied by gesticulating circus performers, mortifying every judge at the table.

The show’s a bit like “Top Chef,” but the focus is luxury food. Americans will learn a lot about British food and dining traditions, and by the end might agree with one judge that “this is not a Battenberg!”

Restaurants at the End of the World, National Geographic/Disney+

Want to learn more about Kristen Kish, the new “Top Chef”‘ judge? Check out “Restaurants at the End of the World,” a four-part series hosted by Kish that’s part adventure travel and part culinary spotlight with all the gorgeous visuals you expect from NatGeo. Each episode highlights a different restaurant and the remarkable lengths their chefs must go to as they source local ingredients in very remote locations.

How remote? The restaurants include Panama’s Hacienda Mamecillo, a hike-up restaurant which sits high atop a mountain in a cloud forest. Svalbard’s Isfjord Radio is perched on an island in the Arctic reaches northwest of Norway. Maine’s Turner Farm sits in the middle of Penobscot Bay, reachable only by boat. And Brazil’s Sem Pressa is a boat.

Kish rappels down a waterfall in Panama to source fresh watercress and digs in Brazilian mangrove muck for sururu, a bivalve mollusk, to make the perfect seafood meal. In Svalbard, she snorkels in freezing water for sea urchins and snags fresh ice from a glacier, before getting to work in the chefs’ kitchen making reindeer tongue and melon appetizers and passion fruit-kimchi sorbet.

José Andrés and Family in Spain, Discovery Plus, Max and weekly on CNN

You may know José Andrés as the visionary chef who popularized Spanish cuisine in the U.S. through restaurants like Zaytinya (which is expected to open a location in Palo Alto in 2024), or perhaps as the philanthropist whose nonprofit World Central Kitchen provides meals to people amid global disasters.

What the six-part “José Andrés in Spain with Family” shows is that he’s also a pretty goofy dad, whose knowledge and enthusiasm for Spain and its food is infectious even to his toughest critics: his daughters. As he gushes over each bite at the world-class eateries the trio visits – many at establishments operated by his friends – Andrés’ adult daughters, Inés and Carlota, respond with the occasional good-natured eye roll or “OK, Dad,” although they’re clearly having fun, too.

Seeing how this family travels together is almost as inspirational as the meals themselves. The Andres family seems to float seamlessly from one stop to the next, powered by tapas and Cava.

Each episode highlights regional dishes, including Pastas del Consejo, cookies invented for a young prince at a royal bakery in Madrid; a fine-dining spread for the ages at Disfrutar, a restaurant by chefs who, like Andrés, previously worked at El Bulli; and a calcot (a vegetable that’s a mix between a spring onion and a leek) barbecue at a vineyard belonging to one of Andrés’ friends. Father and daughters also explore local nonfood traditions on their travels, from human tower-building in Catalonia to flamenco dancing in Andalusia.

This show might just make you want to eat your way through Spain alongside family, too.

Lalie loves school and has done well, especially this past year. For a long time, Lalie had to be the parent to her younger sister. It can be difficult at times for her to leave her parental role when she is around much younger children and her younger sister. However, Lalie has learned to be a kid rather than a parent and will thrive in a family setting.

Lalie would do best in a home with at least one female caregiver and other children in the home. Most importantly Lalie should be in an active family that will keep her busy, give her structure and much love. There is an open adoption agreement in place with Lalie’s birth parents for two visits per year. Lalie has a close bond to her younger sister in Western Mass. and will need frequent contact with her.

To learn more about adoption from foster care visit www.mareinc.org . Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) can give you guidance and information on the adoption process.

A. Although your question sounds like “How can I get my fiancé’s wacky ex to stop coming after my guy,” it’s more about your boyfriend having blurry boundaries and not being honest with everyone concerned (ex-etiquette rule #8, Be honest and straight forward). No one continually invites someone somewhere when they know they’ll be turned down, so something has happened that has given her the impression she might get a different answer. I don’t know what happened during that “short while” when you broke up, but if she’s acting differently now than she did prior to your moving out, it’s time to talk to your fiancé. If this is the way she has always acted…it’s time to talk to your fiancé. Just about any way you look at it, it’s time to talk to your fiancé.

Whenever an outsider does something that affects a relationship, it’s the responsibility of those related to that outsider to set the record straight. That means it’s your fiancé’s responsibility to set clear boundaries, so his ex understands where she stands. He may like all the attention — or he may feel that letting her think there is something between them will enable him to see the kids more often.

Even if it’s all an innocent misunderstanding or the fact that he doesn’t like confrontation, it’s still your guy’s responsibility to take control of the situation so that there will be no misunderstanding in the future. His kids are also watching how he’s handling all this. The more he vacillates, the more they will be placed in the middle.

Your fiancé must address this. That’s good ex-etiquette.

Dr. Jann Blackstone is the author of “Ex-etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After Divorce or Separation,” and the founder of Bonus Families, bonusfamilies.com./Tribune News Service

I am trying to be proactive and get as much as possible done up front as I can. If my husband and I need to take a class, I would like to do it now. We do have three children but there is no question about custody.  I am a stay-at-home mom and he travels a ton for work. We know what we are going to do about the children.

A. When your sister got divorced, there was standing order dating back many years which required parents to attend a parent education class.  At that time there were a number of approved courses that could be taken to meet the requirement.  Most of the classes were in person.  People often had problems with classes being full thus causing delays in the case.  That requirement was suspended on June 25, 2021.

Recently, the court circulated a new Standing Order which takes effect Nov. 1, 2023.  This new order requires everyone with minor children who are involved in an annulment, divorce, complaint for custody, or other litigation such as a modification or contempt regarding custody and parenting time to take a parenting class.  There are exceptions to the requirement.  If you and your husband negotiate an agreement and ultimately file a joint petition for divorce, you will not be required to take the class.  If you are unable to reach an agreement on the support aspect and one of you ends up filing for divorce, you can still avoid the parenting class by filing a partial or full written agreement on parenting time and custody issues with the court within 60 days of serving the divorce summons.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com

Our tester, the 2023 Electrified Genesis GV70 AWD Prestige. Wrapped in the famous Genesis Makalu Matte Grey Paint, the GV70 is comfortable, rightly sized, rightly priced and exquisite on the interior. Boasting a mid $60K price tag, you would have thought you were riding in the GLE or Bentayga, but the Genesis brand does it again, ensuring passengers get exactly what they want in a mid size SUV.

Powering the Electrified GV70 for 2023 is a 160 kW front + 106 kW rear electric motor with a 77.4 kWh battery. We noticed a 234 mile range on a full charge, which was pretty realistic for the Genesis brand and their larger, heavier vehicles, but still under that 300 mile threshold consumers demand.

As a Volvo extraordinaire, the Genesis brings a lot of Volvo like interior accouterments as well. Plush, massaging, heated and ventilated front seats, with white leather. The Prestige Interior Package was also witnessed on the GV70 which included an easy to use 12.3” digital instrument cluster inclusive of heads up display, Lexicon Premium Audio, and heated 2nd row seating and steering wheel with manual rear door shades.

For Genesis, the GV70 is certainly an amazing looking vehicle. We recognize unbelievably quiet road noise, exceptional comfort and very close attention to detail. With Hyundai’s great warranties and dependability they are known for, Genesis is a huge sleeper brand for consumers everywhere. If an upscale brand vehicle is in your future, Genesis deserves a test drive.

Grasso’s Garage is here for you! Are you in the market for a new car? I would be happy to provide my honest input. All you have to do is email me: marc.grasso@bostonherald.com.

2023 Genesis GV70 EV

MSRP: $65,850

MPGe: 98 city / 83 highway / 91.4 as tested

As Tested: $75,275

ROCHESTER, N.Y. (AP) — They are playfully called the “forgotten five”: A handful of toys — the pogo stick, the Fisher-Price Corn Popper, My Little Pony, PEZ dispensers, and Transformers — that regularly approach toybox royalty as finalists for the National Toy Hall of Fame, only to be tossed back on the pile.

For one of them, this is the year they finally make it in. The Hall of Fame is letting fans decide which one.

Toys usually are chosen for the annual induction ceremony with input from a panel of historians, educators and other experts. The members vote for their top three out of a dozen finalists that have been selected by an internal committee from among thousands of nominations that come in each year.

But this year, fan voters will pick one of the so-called forgotten five, to celebrate the National Toy Hall of Fame’s 25th anniversary. That’s along with three toys to be chosen in the usual way.

“They’re like Susan Lucci was to the Emmy Awards, or Steve Tasker to the Pro Football Hall of Fame,” chief curator Christopher Bensch said. “Now, one of these five will make the hall and, for the first time, it will be purely in the hands of the voting public.”

Fans can cast one vote per day through Oct. 24 on the National Toy Hall of Fame website.

The winner, along with the other inductees, will be revealed during the induction ceremony on Nov. 9.

Anyone can nominate a toy to the National Toy Hall of Fame. But to be considered, toys must have inspired creative play and enjoyed popularity over a sustained period of time. Last year, the spinning top, Masters of the Universe action figures and Lite-Brite joined past honorees that range from scrounged items like the stick and cardboard box, to store-bought toys that everyone seemed to have, including the Wiffle Ball, alphabet blocks and the teddy bear.

The Fisher-Price Corn Popper, a push toy with colorful balls, has been a repeat finalist for encouraging babies who are learning to walk. My Little Pony mini horses are in the running after outselling even Barbie for several years while at the height of their popularity between 1982 and 1993, according to the Hall of Fame.

PEZ went from being a breath mint to candy bricks served from pop culture-inspired dispensers in 1948. Today, PEZ sells 3 billion individual candies each year and keeps about 60 or 70 dispensers in production, the Hall of Fame said. The pogo stick has kept users bouncing nonstop since it was first patented in the early 1900s. Hasbro’s shape-shifting Transformers action figures also have been in the finals more than once after inspiring comic books, cartoons, and a continuing series of live-action blockbuster films, two of which made more than $1 billion each.

The three other toys to be honored will be chosen from 12 finalists announced last month. The nominees are baseball cards, Battleship, bingo, Bop It, Cabbage Patch Kids, Choose Your Own Adventure gamebooks, Connect 4, Little Tykes Cozy Coupe, Nerf, slime, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Barbie’s boyfriend, Ken.

The National Toy Hall of Fame is located inside The Strong National Museum of Play in Rochester, New York.

Now that the nation has met Gerry Turner, the septuagenarian stud and star of ABC’s The Golden Bachelor, the idea of older Americans hooking up is percolating in everyday discourse.

You might not like thinking of grandma going out on the town, but some flames blaze on, constant as a pilot light.

“Seeing older people on TV demonstrating interest in others, along with sexual desire, shows that we don’t change much as we age,” said Ilene Warner-Maron, a professor in the department of Geriatrics and Palliative Medicine at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine.

“If you want to ride a bike and you still can, who says you’re too old? In life, there’s no such thing as a dirty old man or woman.”

When younger people think of older people having sex, they often picture their parents, a difficult scenario to contemplate, Warner-Maron acknowledged.

She added, “A person said to me, ‘Older people having sex is disgusting.’

“I asked him, ‘At what age would you stop having sex?’

‘Oh, never,’ he said.

“And that’s the answer.”

With his thick hair, subtle Midwestern magnetism, and insouciant sporting of “ear candy” — elder-speak for his two hearing aids — Turner, a 72-year-old grandfather and widower, gifts America by conveying the message that romance at any age is possible.

“I know that when younger people see us, they think we cut off all desire,” said Marcie Lyons-DiCamillo, 69, of Southampton, Bucks County. “We don’t.”

Dating around

In fact, said Lyons-DiCamillo, who taught kindergarten and first grade for 38 years in Philadelphia schools, certain carnal male behaviors have persisted through the decades: “I’ve gone on a few dates since my husband of 36 years died five years ago. I haven’t met anybody who wants relationships. They just want sex. Men are still the same.”

She meets men online or at the senior center at the KleinLife community center in Northeast Philadelphia. A lover of aerobics and travel, Lyons-DiCamillo says she’s a doer, but that many guys can be absolute sluggards.

“They aren’t available because they need to watch Eagles games,” said the mother of two and grandmother of five. “Or, you do manage to go out with someone and try to connect, but then they ghost you.

“It gets lonely.”

Active older people like Lyons-DiCamillo are quite common, said Allen Glicksman, a social gerontologist and researcher at NewCourtland, an agency headquartered in Philadelphia’s Germantown neighborhood that helps seniors find housing and health care.

“For certain people, there’s sometimes risk in activities,” he said. “But some would rather die having fun than sit for 20 years.”

Because there are 124 elderly women aged 65 to 84 for every 100 similarly aged men (over 84, it’s 176 to 100), federal figures show, women understand it can be difficult to find partners. In Philadelphia, it’s even harder, where there are 90,000 more women than men, the widest gender gap among American big cities.

Glicksman said a TV program like The Golden Bachelor — with 22 women between ages 60 and 75 competing for Gerry’s love — goes a long way toward battling ageism, “which dictates all seniors are frail.”

“Or that older sex is cringeworthy. Or rare.”

There are, in fact, retirement homes in Philadelphia resembling “college dorms, with people hopping in and out of each other’s apartments at night,” Warner-Maron said.

One result of unrestrained activity such as that, experts say, is that half of all adults living with HIV are over 50.

“I started doing research in HIV in older adults, but nobody was interested,” Warner-Maron said. “I was told: ‘Sex and older people. Why would anyone bother studying that?’”

Chemistry

Alcira Laurenzi, 79, of Center City, said she and her husband had enjoyed “45 beautiful years of marriage, until a friend liked what I had and took it away from me. I got divorced.”

Lately, she’s been finding datable men online, or at the Philadelphia Senior Center in Center City, part of NewCourtland.

“If the chemistry is there, that feeling is not much of a change from when you’re younger,” said Laurenzi, a mother of two with four grandchildren. She used to work in a hospital office.

With the wisdom that age bestows, Laurenzi said she can quickly size up a man’s personality and decide whether she and he are simpatico.

“When I notice something I don’t care for, I dismiss him — gently. If I don’t have a ring, I don’t have to stick around.”

Cloud nine

Sandy Levin, 79, of Northeast Philadelphia, said her philosophy has been: “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Her husband of 44 years died 12 years ago. Then Levin was with a man for more than a decade who moved to Boston. After that, she dated a man with whom she’d host trivia games in various nursing homes. He died recently.

A former high school and college administrator, Levin, the mother of one, said her relationships fostered “indescribable feelings when you’re on cloud nine. It’s just wonderful.”

Detailing intimacy at an older age, she said, “For most men, Viagra was heaven-sent. And, not to diminish the sex act for a woman, but having a man just hold and kiss you makes you feel special. You feel vital, seeing someone look at you like you’re a beautiful, young woman.

“And I’ve learned something important over time: It’s not over until it’s over.”

—-

©2023 The Philadelphia Inquirer, LLC. Visit at inquirer.com. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

I am thinking about seeking sole custody to deal with these issues.  If I refuse to include his phone and social media provisions, do you think a judge will side with him?

A. I am not aware of any reported decisions involving social media restrictions in a divorce situation.  However, many of the judges are also parents and/or grandparents who have also had to learn to navigate protecting their own families and their use of social media.  This is a rapidly changing area where I suspect courts will appreciate a more conservative approach as opposed to what your describe of your husband’s potentially unhealthy approach.

All child-related provisions are approached from the best interest of the child perspective.  If it comes to it, I suspect your husband will be hard pressed to find an expert in child development who will support his desire to provide your children with phones and unfettered access to social media and the internet in the near future.

From a legal custody perspective, you can ask the judge to award you sole decision making authority with regard to access to cell phones, social media and the internet for the children.  It may be you can convince a judge that you also need primary physical custody so you can ensure they do not have access to phones / social media but it will be hard to police what happens during his parenting time and he will surely have parenting time.

If you learn that your husband is providing the children with access to devices and social media in his home, you can return to court for further protections and modifications later.

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com

So if you plan on dressing your fur baby up for Halloween, you’d better get started now.

Here are five great Halloween dog costumes, ranging from the heroic to the adorable:

Ghostbusters

If you’re worried about ghosts nabbing you on Halloween, let your four legged pal be your hero, After all, if you have a ghost encounter, who you gonna call? Available for $24.99 at PetSmart.

Sully from ‘Monsters Inc.’

Sure, Sully took his job way too seriously and tormented children, but by the end of the movie he turned into a big softie. The Sully fleece is perfect for your little monster. Available for $24.99 at PetSmart.

Minnie Mouse

This Minnie Mouse costume is also available for cats (good luck with that). If your dog doesn’t like the full dress, you can buy the adorable bow by itself. The full costume is available for $24.99 while the bow and ear bundle is $19.99.

Sarah Sanderson from ‘Hocus Pocus’

With “Hocus Pocus” available for streaming on Hulu, and a “Hocus Pocus 3” in the works, PetSmart has costumes for all three Sanderson sisters. Sarah is available for $30.99, Mary is for $36.99, and Winifred is $36.99.

Tinkerbell

The Tinkerbell costume is available for both dogs and cats for $24.99.

Tribune News Service

Izzy attends a local public school and receives support through an IEP. She participates in many extracurricular activities which include gymnastics, cheerleading, and the Girl Scouts. Izzy is currently placed in a residential program and has made positive connections with peers in and outside of school.

Izzy would thrive with a caring and committed family of any constellation with a female parental figure with or without other children in the home. Interested families need to have experience in trauma informed care and therapeutic parenting. Interested families should also willing to accept and have access to the support of therapeutic services. They must be dedicated to providing ethnic role models and appropriate information about her culture which includes discussing racism. It is important to Izzy that her maintain contact and visits with her younger brother who is also in foster care.

To learn more about adoption from foster care visit www.mareinc.org . Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) can give you guidance and information on the adoption process. Reach out today to find out all the ways you can help children and teens in foster care.

A. Hmmm … hopefully you will once again trust me to read between the lines, but this is what I suspect is happening — and one of those psychological sticky points that few want to openly admit. That fact that you are having a child soon has changed the pecking order. You are now officially peers.

Many former partners have confided that no matter what went on between the exes, the one thing they had that set them apart from their ex’s current partner was that she was the mother of his children. You being pregnant, she no longer holds that exclusive title and within that context she may be having trouble adjusting. You have to look at the history, but if her attitude changed about the time your pregnancy began to show, there’s your answer.

If you put yourself in her shoes (Good ex-etiquette for parents rule #7) her children’s excitement about something so far removed from her can be disconcerting. So she tends to get a little crabby when she has to interact with you.

I encourage you to initiate a tactful conversation that discusses how she sees your child fitting in her children’s lives. Her support and willingness to include your child in her children’s activities will greatly contribute to an easy transition for everyone. And, another important consideration – make sure she knows you respect her as the existing children’s mother and that her importance as their mother will not be diminished by the addition to your family. That’s good ex-etiquette.

Dr. Jann Blackstone is the author of “Ex-etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After Divorce or Separation,” and the founder of Bonus Families, bonusfamilies.com./Tribune News Service

Our 2023 Bentley GT Continental Speed was painted in Kingfisher, an amazing baby blue color with pearl and sparkle flake added. One of 63 exterior color options, this is by far the nicest color in the fleet. With black and kingfisher interior stitching, the Bentley GTC shows out super nice on the road and to onlookers alike. Its display in typical Bentley fashion is an eye catcher and one that is rarely witnessed by many. Front fascia, exterior badging and that iconic nose is what Bentley is all about. Color options include the exterior and the roof, while the interior includes veneers and the hide. Overall, by my count, I see over 300 different color combination options to choose from, which is nice to confirm you have the only one in town.

Powering the illustrious Bentley GTC Speed is a 6.0 Litre Twin Turbo W12 engine. This 650 horsepower and 664 lb. ft. of torque, making this an absolute animal on the road. With a 3.6 second, zero to sixty time, the GTC Speed means business. The GTC speed is the ultimate sports-focused grand tourer per Bentley, we notice an array of design features that can make the GTC your own. Riding on 22” sport black painted wheels, the GTC Speed shows out very nicely.

Powerful and handcrafted, the Bentley brand depends on its customer base to continue to deliver excellence. The GTC offers 6 models with the Speed as the middle and the Mulliner at the top of the food chain.

As Bentley continues to prove why they are leaders of upscale perfection, they do a great job with interior comfort, and exterior aesthetics. For a $300K+ base price, the GTC is not for everyone, but just right for the upscale neighbor who you always wanted to know their profession before they retired…

Grasso’s Garage is here for you! Are you in the market for a new car? I would be happy to provide my honest input. All you have to do is email me: marc.grasso@bostonherald.com.

2023 Bentley GTC Speed

MSRP: $317,300

MPG: 12 city / 18 highway / 14.7 as tested

As Tested: $384,095

If you’re ready to start prepping for Halloween, look no further: We rounded up some of the best resources we could find on the spooky holiday.

Need Halloween decoration inspiration? We’ve got it. How about Halloween costume ideas that won’t break the bank? Check. And, of course, we’ve got you covered on horror movies to watch this month. Read on — if you dare.

Halloween decorations

An interesting trend emerged during the COVID-19 pandemic, writes Brittany Anas for the Denver Post: “Homeowners began taking an interest in the Hollywood-quality monsters and props and incorporating them into their own front-yard haunts.” In fact, one Colorado company, Distortions Unlimited, saw direct-to-consumer sales in the past few years rise by roughly 200%, co-owner Marsha Taub-Edmunds estimated.

“People weren’t able to go to haunted houses during COVID, and they weren’t handing out candy, so they really got into the spirit of decorating,” Taub-Edmunds told the Post.

Retail stores joined in as well, and the National Retail Federation clocks in Halloween decor as a $3.4 billion annual business, according to Anas. If you’re ready to turn your home into a haunt, here are some expert tips on how to decorate for Halloween.

Here’s how to decorate for Halloween, according to scare professionals

Halloween costumes

Instead of buying brand-new Halloween costumes or decorations this year, consider secondhand. There are numerous benefits to shopping this way, writes Liz Ohanesian for Southern California News Group. “Choosing a pre-owned item over something new is an environmentally friendly option since you’re extending the lifespan of a good and potentially saving it from a landfill,” Ohanesian says. “Depending on when, where and how you shop, it can be easier on your wallet, too. But perhaps the most attractive benefit of shopping secondhand is the knowledge that you’ll find something far more interesting than the seasonal products at big box stores.”

Shopping secondhand for Halloween can be tricky, though, so you should start early. Here’s how to create scary Halloween costumes and decorations from secondhand stores.

How to create scary Halloween costumes and decorations from secondhand stores

Halloween recipes

Pumpkin spice latte season started early this year, but you may only now be getting in the mood to start baking with autumnal spices.

As Jack-o’-lanterns appear at grocery stores and on front porches — and pumpkin spice latte and pumpkin beer options abound — consider celebrating autumn with a different type of treat. We sourced pumpkin spice recipes from food connoisseurs and cookbooks from across the country, and none of them are your traditional pumpkin pie (though we have a recipe for that, too).

Pumpkin spice dessert recipes that aren’t your traditional pie

Halloween movies

There are plenty of new horror movies ringing in October on your favorite streaming sites. For one, there’s a comedy called “Totally Killer” launching on Prime Video plus a new “Exorcist” film out in theaters, according to Tribune News Service’s Katie Walsh.

What to stream: New horror movies and more to ring in October

If you’re ready for a Halloween movie marathon, look no further than this list of 2023’s top horror films from Bay Area New Group’s Jim Harrington. “All 10 of my picks were released widely in 2023, although some may have premiered earlier, most likely at film festivals,” Harrington writes. “So, try mixing some of these new offerings in with your old favorites.”

Top horror films 2023: Our No. 1 pick ranks among best horror movies of all time

Halloween gardening

Don’t stop at home decorations — take Halloween into your garden, too! “Spooky-looking garden and house plants have become increasingly popular,” writes The Press-Enterprise’s Alex Groves. “More than 17,000 posts on Instagram include the hashtag #gothgarden and plants such as the Raven ZZ (aka  Zamioculcas zamiifolia) and Alocasia Black Velvet are hot commodities in plant shops.”

Here are some expert picks for spooky — but striking — Halloween plants.

Halloween gardening: Experts suggest some spooky season plants

Halloween pet care

“Spooky season comes with plenty of potential pitfalls for our four-legged friends, wild birds and more,” writes Julia Lamont for Marin Independent-Journal.

For example, “Jack-o’-lanterns and other candles are a burn risk if a curious pet comes too close,” Lamont says. “Opt for battery-operated, flameless candles if you crave that telltale flicker on your front porch.”

Here are a few more tips protecting animals this Halloween, without sacrificing the fun.

Don’t let animals get spooked this Halloween

Contributing: Jim Harrington, Bay Area News Group; Brittany Anas, Denver Post; Julia Lamont, Marin Independent-Journal; Alex Groves and Liz Ohanesian, Southern California News Group; Katie Walsh, Tribune News Service

This week, the Broomfield-based company unveiled its newest shoe, the Crocs Classic Cowboy Boot, to celebrate what it calls “Croctober.” The design features a “high shine croc-embossed texture and bold western-inspired stitching,” per a statement.

And that’s not all. The design also includes a bedazzled look with metallic charms and a spinnable spur. The boots even have the word “Crocs” in jewels near the pull strap.

The Crocs cowboy boots – touted as “one of the most widely requested Crocs shoe designs in brand history” – go on sale Oct. 23, which the company recognizes as Croc Day. They’ll cost $120 at crocs.com and you better be ready to lasso a pair, as the style will be available for a limited time.

Fill in the blank: I gotta wear these ________.

Officially launching on Croc Day, Oct 23 in select regions and at https://t.co/YgzGJcFpoC! See you there, partner #Croctober23 pic.twitter.com/2VJeH4akQa

— Crocs (@Crocs) October 6, 2023

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Emily has lived with me since the divorce 10 years ago – my ex travels extensively and they are not close.  I am worried that this is a ploy for my ex to stop paying me child support and for her to claim that our daughter now lives in CT with my ex’s mother.  I don’t know the laws in CT and whether child support is the same or if I have to give up child support if Emily goes to boarding school.  I planned to keep our home until Emily graduates from high school then sell it and move to a less expensive town to help finance college.  Without the child support payments, I cannot afford to keep the house.

A. Child support is paid until a child is emancipated.  If a child living away at college during the school year does not trigger emancipation (it does not), then certainly a child living away at boarding school for high school does not trigger emancipation.  This means child support would still be paid.  It may be that your ex would try to reduce child support by claiming your daughter is living away from you during most of the year and she is directly paying for room and board.  You still have the argument that she comes home to you every break / summer and you provide her with a home, food, clothing, etc. and thus should still receive child support.

Connecticut would not have jurisdiction to make changes to child support unless your daughter actually changed her home state or domicile to Connecticut.  If she applies and goes to boarding school, make sure your home address is used for everything on file and that you, as the custodial parent, are the primary contact.  Make sure she continues to see her Massachusetts doctor, dentist, etc.

Assuming Emily gets accepted and wants to go, you should enter a written agreement with your ex that specifically states your agreement for Emily to attend boarding school is subject to your ex paying all associated costs, Emily’s home state remains Massachusetts, and her domicile remains your home address.  .

Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com

A. We all understand how tough it is to break up, especially if you have kids. Plus, if one of you moves on very quickly, that only adds to the other parent’s anxiety. Add grief and jealousy, anger and revenge — all those dreadful emotions that go along with splitting up, and you have a lot to contend with while trying to put on a happy face for a little one.

Unfortunately, the parenting plan you mentioned might be a little difficult for your daughter at her place of development.

Toddlers experience separation anxiety in the first and second years of life, even in the safety of their own home. You’ve established a primary home — yours — but every other weekend she leaves for four days.

The courts may support this sort of parenting plan, but it really doesn’t coincide with what the psychological community suggests in terms of child development.

I’m sure your child knows you. I suspect that her crying when you pick her up has very little to do with her father’s girlfriend. That’s your own insecurity talking.

The best thing you can do at this juncture is look for ways to support all caregivers who offer a nurturing, protective environment so your child feels consistently safe and secure. Since your child must go back and forth, the fact that she is loved and cared for at both homes is in her best interest.

Finally, I have to support you in your concern about introducing new partners too early after a breakup. Introducing someone before you know where they fit in your life long term is just plain selfish.

Ex-etiquette for Parents Rule No. 1 continues to be, “Put the children first.”

Dr. Jann Blackstone is the author of “Ex-etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After Divorce or Separation,” and the founder of Bonus Families, bonusfamilies.com./Tribune News Service

And underscoring the importance of wellness even further, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. As a breast cancer survivor myself, I truly believe that mental health and personal self-care are absolutely critical to being my best self every single day.

So to help start off Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and to underscore the importance of wellness, I hosted a Wellness Day event at my Wellesley salon, Grettacole. I did it alongside kai, a cult-favorite beauty brand known for its natural and intoxicating signature scent collection —and one of the beauty lines I can’t live without.

I carry kai at the salon and am addicted to their products for many reasons, chiefly because of their incredibly soothing scent, and the effect that has on the mind and body. The line, created by Gaye Straza, is an ethereal mix of exotic white flowers like gardenia, plumeria, and jasmine. (Legend has it that the first time Straza wore her kai perfume after she’d perfected it, she was stopped by a beauty editor on Madison Avenue in New York City, and asked where one could buy the scent.)

Today the Kai fragrance and bath and body care line are sold at high-end boutiques and spas all over the world, and worn by everyone from Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts to Charlize Theron and Reese Witherspoon. At Grettacole, I carry everything from their luxurious shampoos and conditioners to room diffusers and candles — perfect for relaxing when you need an hour off.

So to that end, I shared with our Wellness Event guests some of my favorite ways to incorporate a handful of my most-loved kai products into my personal wellness routine:

Applying the Kai Signature Body Glow ($38 on gretta.com) always brings me a sense of well-being and beauty with its crisp, clean aroma before getting ready for the day.

Lighting the Kai Signature Skylight Candle ($48 on gretta.co) reminds me to stop, be present, and breathe deeply.

I use my hands a lot, so keeping the Kai Signature Hand Cream ($22 on kaifragrance.com) in my work bag prevents my hands from being dry, and my nails becoming brittle.

After a long day I enjoy taking a bath and using the Kai Rose Body Buffer ($52 on gretta.co) to exfoliate and moisturize my skin.

Enjoying a cup of tea and spraying the Kai Room-linen Spray ($56 on kaifragrance.com) at bedtime is the perfect way to unwind.

I applaud products like kai, that take our physical health into account by being free of parabens, sulfates, phthalates, and phosphates. Kai is also cruelty-free, and made in the U.S.A.

And as we continue our treks into our busy fall and celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Month, arming ourselves with that kind of care and wellness may be one of the best ways to reap the benefits of the season.

Khary is learning to do his laundry and is eager to learn more life skills. He also has an interest in video game design in the future. Khary receives support in school with social skills and communication. His teachers report that he’s doing extremely well in his classes.

Khary easily talks about his feelings, wants and needs. He thrives in his foster home where he receives structure and positive attention. He does very well with the other foster children in his home who are around his age. Khary needs time with building trusting relationships.

Khary would do well in any family constellation. He will do best in a home that has some experience working with children who have experienced trauma and loss. He responds well to a structured home environment with routine and positive attention from adults. Khary has three siblings who live in western Massachusetts with whom he will need to maintain contact.

To learn more about adoption from foster care visit www.mareinc.org . Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) can give you guidance and information on the adoption process.

People buy pet insurance for peace of mind. But in truth, insurance coverage comes with so many variations from so many different providers that you can’t sign on any old dotted line and assume all will be well.

True, insurance can cover things like emergency care, cancer treatments, some surgeries and prescriptions. But the devil is always in the details: Some policies exclude specific breeds. Regular exams — which can run into hundreds of dollars with tests and vaccinations — usually aren’t covered. Reimbursement might be capped per year or per diagnosis. And the list goes on.

The Veterinary Specialty Hospital in San Diego, California, sums up the situation in a blog post: “Research shows that owners with pets who are generally healthy throughout their life will pay more in premiums than they will receive in claims. However, there’s no way to know if you are getting the puppy or kitten that is going to be perfectly healthy. You could get the one that is going to eat his toys, roll with the porcupines, develop kidney disease, or help himself to your favorite chocolate bar.”

And therein lies the dilemma: To insure or not to insure?

Heather Pendley, who lives just north of San Diego, currently has insurance on her two dogs. But she has waffled over the years. She described having had a cat that used up its nine lives, each with an expensive vet visit. When she looked into insurance for it, she couldn’t find a policy that would cover everything she wanted.

Then the family took out insurance when they got a puppy, and it helped with one surgery, but as the dog aged, the premiums became cost prohibitive.

But she’s decided insurance is worth it. She pays $70 a month for her two dogs, aged 3 1/2 and 9. She says she compared two or three companies and chose Figo. Pendley also has a premium Petco Vital Care membership. For $19.99 a month, a member gets unlimited routine vet exams at all Vetco Total Care locations or $20 Vital Care Rewards for exams at non-Petco vets.

We love our pets, but they are expensive. And, according to a Forbes Advisor survey in 2022, 42 percent of pet owners said they can’t cover a surprise vet bill of $999 or less. Maybe that’s why there was, according to data from the North American Pet Insurance Association, more than a 22 percent increase in the number of owners insuring their pets in 2022.

The organization also reports that since 2018 the average annual growth rate of insured pets is 22.5 percent, with dogs making up the vast majority of insured pets.

This could get messy

Linda Chavez encourages people to compare policies from various companies. Based in Los Angeles, Chavez is the founder and CEO of Seniors Life Insurance. “Shopping around and making sure you get the best policy at the best price is essential for any insurance purchase,” she advises. “And read the fine print.”

Ask your vet for advice and talk with pet-loving friends about their experience. Also check online information and reviews. Pet Insurance Review, for example, corrals information from 17 companies. Pawlicy Advisor is another resource. Pricing for insurance takes into consideration:

• A pet’s age (older is more expensive)
• Breed (some have hereditary factors that make them prone to illness)
• Location (California is one of the more expensive states, unfortunately)
• Preexisting conditions
• If more than one pet will be covered

Also, pricing is a balancing act of premium (what you pay each month), deductible (how much you pay before insurance kicks in), and benefit caps (the total an insurance company will pay).

“Insurance providers often offer customizable plans, allowing pet owners to choose coverage that best fits their needs and budget,” notes Michael Thompson, founder and lead veterinarian at Pets Food Safety. But you need to grit your teeth and do the math. The higher costs of wellness care, for instance, can offset any savings.

One of the best things about pet insurance, Thompson believes, is that it gives pet owners “the financial confidence to make the best decisions for their pets.”

Start young

Experts agree that taking out a pet insurance policy for pets when they’re young and healthy can pay off if they run into complicated injuries or illnesses.

Mallory Crusta, brand manager of Cats.com, says, “Treatment for swallowed string, for instance, can bring you vet bills in the thousands of dollars, and a long-term condition like diabetes may go into the tens of thousands. This is where pet insurance can help you the most.”

Premiums are lower for younger animals, and odds are there are no preexisting conditions that would exclude payments down the line.

For high-earning people who have a good savings cushion, it might make more fiscal sense to skip insurance and keep adding to an account earmarked for emergency pet care.

But for most of us, the bottom line is that pet insurance is like any other insurance: You wish you didn’t have the premiums, but if you’ve chosen the right coverage you’ll be relieved you paid them if faced with the price of the unexpected.

Resources

American Veterinary Medical Association

Pawlicy Advisor

Pet Insurance Review

Are you an extrovert, loyal, down for anything — whether it’s a day at a museum or the beach? Then you’re probably a dog person.

There are countless breeds and every dog is an individual, so research is key. But here are some places to start:

• Toy: If you have a small space like an apartment, a toy breed like a Yorkshire terrier, Chihuahua or Maltese might be for you. This is the ultimate lap dog, but many breeds in this category have spunky personalities — so watch out.
• Hound: Sight and scent hounds fall into this varied group. It’s a big category including breeds like the basset hound, beagle, bloodhound, dachshund, English foxhound, greyhound, Irish wolfhound, Rhodesian ridgeback and whippet.
• Herding: Often known for their intelligence, desire to please and work, herding dogs need a job — whether it’s on a police force, like the German shepherd and Belgian Malinois, or working a farm like a border collie. Their job could also involve sitting at your feet as you work, but they may still have energy and mental requirements that can be met through other activities like agility.

Are you an introvert, observant, calculating, prefer to work off-peak hours like a night nurse or bartender? Then you might be a cat person.

Cats like sleeping during the day and are active at night or very early in the morning. They can thrive in a variety of homes.

• Persian: These luxurious-looking cats are known for their sweet temperament and long hair. They need regular grooming.
• Maine Coon: Known as “gentle giants,” these intelligent, trainable cats can get up to 30 pounds. They can learn tricks and commands like dogs.
• Mixed Breed: There are plenty of rescue cats looking for homes that make great pets no matter their mix.

Are you the kind of extrovert who enjoys social situations and big challenges — say, solving complex puzzles or running a marathon — and who needs to stay busy? You seem like a bird person. 

Birds typically kept as pets are all naturally flocking birds. They want to be around others of their kind. They are also very high energy. Don’t leave them alone in a cage all day.

• Parakeet: These are popular, lower maintenance, smaller pet birds in the parrot family who can be taught to speak.
• Cockatiel: Known for the crest on top of their head, they are emotional birds that need a lot of attention — or they might get depressed.
• African Grey Parrot: Highly intelligent, long-lived and high-maintenance, these eloquent birds are for very experienced bird owners only.

Are you an introvert who enjoys quiet environments and is detail-oriented? Sounds like a reptile person.

Reptiles may be quiet, but they are complex. They all have very specific lighting, humidity and other environmental needs requiring keen attention to detail.

• Box Turtle: Smaller than tortoises, these are popular pet reptiles. Slow moving but fun to watch, they can live 20-plus years.
• Leopard Gecko: Also long-lived (around 20 years), they can get up to 10 inches long and are often spotted. They’re a good reptile for beginners.
• Corn Snake: Considered one of the more gentle snakes, they’re good for beginners. They can live 20-plus years and eat thawed frozen rodents.

Based on information from Rachel Salant, an animal behavior specialist at Veterinarians.org, who has worked directly with a wide variety of species.