Stop the presses! The Washington Post broke a bombshell story about Dementia Joe Biden yesterday.
“Biden loves to tell certain stories. Some aren’t credible.”
Now they tell us! Better late than never, I suppose. And at least this Post story goes against the grain of most of their “reporting” – it’s true, for one thing, unlike, say, their “deeply reported” stories about the Russian collusion hoax, which were all false.
But to commemorate the Post’s belated realization that Biden is full of you-know-what, let’s go straight to the audiotape from his recent appearances.
As always, all dialogue guaranteed verbatim.
First, as he came out Wednesday to speak to the press, news broke of Sen. Mitch McConnell’s latest “freeze.”
“I just heard literally coming out,” he said. “Mitch is a friend as you know – not a joke… I don’t know enough to know.”
Isn’t that the truth?
This came just before he began an incoherent discussion of the wildfires in Hawaii, which he called “storms.”
“Well, but by the way, you know, we also know how many huge number of Americans have died! How many huge number of Americans have – for example, more forest has burned to the ground in the time I’ve been doing this.”
May we quote you on that, Mr. President?
A reporter asked Biden his reaction to threats by the House GOP to conduct hearings into his regime’s less-than-robust response to the Hawaii storms, er wildfires.
“I welcome a federal response in Maui.”
Huh? He’s the president – at least that’s Biden’s title. Isn’t he the one responsible for the federal response, feeble as it has been.
“I directed my team to raise our goal in how we lead and coordinate our responses to natural disasters. And because I’ve been around awhile and I known how these function.”
He doesn’t know, he “knowns.”
Recently, he apparently forgot the name of Sen. Mazie Hirono. He also drew a blank when introducing Alejandro Mayorkas – “the secretary of Homeland Security, a guy who took the job. Thank you for taking the job, pal.”
He did go to Maui, finally. That’s where he forget Mazie’s name, telling her that his granddaughter has the same first name. Actually, she’s “Maisy,” but that’s close enough for government or Brandon work.
He told the mayor that “you look like you played defensive tackle for uh I don’t know but somebody good.”
Then Biden commiserated about the “unimaginable travedy tragedy.”
But he was on the case – “As soon as I got the governor’s request I signed the master major disaster declaration.
Despite being on vacation for most of the month, he’s made a few routine announcements. He always likes to take about the price of prescription drugs, or as he often calls them, “prescription jugs.”
“If it’s sold in Chicago, you can buy the same drug in Toronto or Park cheaper than you can buy it in Toronto.”
He recently lauded a man of the cloth.
“An ordinary minister, he pursued a righteous calling that threw him uh brought him back here I was gonna say threw him back here but it brought him back here kinda threw him as well back here to Washington.”
He repeatedly compared the devastation on Maui to a minor kitchen fire in his home in Delaware in 2004, which was caused when lightning a) struck a pond near the house or b) hit the home itself.
Depending on the occasion, the towering inferno almost killed a) his wife b) two firefighters c) his cat and/or d) his ’67 Corvette in the garage where all he stored all his stolen classified top-secret documents.
It was this fire story that apparently set the crack sleuths at the Washington Post on their mission to clean up his messes.
He also claimed he “literally, not figuratively” talked Sen. Strom Thurmond into voting for the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Of course, at the time he was 21 years old and hadn’t even been thrown out of Syracuse Law for plagiarism, let alone been elected to the US Senate.
And Thurmond didn’t vote for the Civil Rights Act. But the Post didn’t even get around to debunking that one. That’s a project for… next year, maybe.
With Brandon spending practically the entire month on vacation, it fell to his press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, to handle many of these matters.
So Wednesday, somebody asked if Biden was slacking off because he’s, to put it diplomatically, not all there.
To which KJP responded: “I’m not going to get into hypo-theoreticals.”
Hypo-theoreticals! This is a woman with an Ivy League degree (Columbia). Kinda makes you wonder what her SATs were.
Then there was Hurricane Idalia in Florida. Joe had been asked about it earlier, whether he was making any contingency plans on his schedule.
“I may,” he said. “I just don’t know yet.”
Yesterday he told reporters he was dealing with “that Category 3 storm that made landfill.”
Not landfall, but landfill.
So the reporters tried follow-up questions with KJP, who as you now know is not into hypo-theoretical questions. KJP assured the reporters that Brandon has Florida under control.
“This is an administration that will be with this community uh from before, before it started.”
Before it started? Lucky she didn’t say that about the fires in Hawaii, that they were into before it started. The arson squad is very interested in that kind of information.
Being an Ivy League graduate, KJP is of course well-equipped to handle any kind of question. The other day, she mentioned Yergeny Prigozhin, the head of the Wagner Group of mercenaries in Russia, who may (or may not) have been assassinated recently.
She has taken the measure of the man. And at a press conference earlier this week, KJP described Prigozhin as “a Russian war load himself, a code-blooded killer.”
A Russian war load! A code-blooded killer!
Whatever it is that Joe Biden is afflicted with, apparently it’s contagious.
(Order Howie’s new book, “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at howiecarrshow.com or at amazon.com.)
