So did the NFL trade deadline.

Patriots fans got nothing but a bag of rocks.

The Great Pumpkin never materialized.

There was no all-in fire sale.

No deals. No nothing.

Same old, same old.

Rats! Bill held pat.

Robert remained MIA.

Or perhaps he stayed in MIA with his new wife, the esteemed Dr. Dana Blumberg. She is an actual doctor, having received a medical degree from St. Louis University.

Dr. Blumberg, 49, is a board-certified ophthalmologist and once taught ophthalmology at New York’s Columbia University. Presumably before it became a clearing house for Hamas sympathizers.

It might be time for Dr. Blumberg to give her husband a complete vision exam.

We’re not sure if Kraft can see that the Hoodie has no clothes.

Or that his team has done nothing but circle the rotary on Route 140 in Foxboro since Brady left in March 2020.

Or that losing is winning in 2023.

Or that Bill Belichick & Company’s time has passed.

We’ve covered some of this previously, but it must be noted again and again until the circumstances change just how far behind the Patriots have fallen in comparison to the competition.

The Dolphins might want to bronze Tua Tagovailoa. And not just because he’s one snap away from another season-curtailing injury.

You know by now Tua is 6-0 against Belichick.

More-so than any player not named Tom Brady, Tua has done more to keep Don Shula’s all-time wins record of 347 perennially out of reach for Belichick.

Brady giveth. And Brady curseth away.

It’s not just the six games.

Coach Mike McDaniel and Tua have demonstrated better than any other team that faces the Patriots on a regular basis just how much time has passed since Belichick Ball was a winnable proposition.

Belichick coached on a Giants team that won Super Bowl XXI with Phil Simms at QB. They won Super Bowl XXV with Jeff Hostetler taking snaps. Against Jim Kelly.

With that on the resume, it’s not hard to understand why Belichick continues to undervalue talented QBs.

Sunday at 9:30 a.m., you can watch a potential AFC championship preview from Germany as the Dolphins play the Chiefs in Germany. You will have an extra hour of sleep to prepare, as the clocks fall back one hour at 2 a.m. Sunday.

The Chiefs have won two Super Bowls since the Patriots won their last playoff game. This is where we remind you that Patrick Mahomes’ dad once played for the Red Sox. And Mahomes was taken with the 10th pick in the 2017 draft. The Patriots could win their next three games and still land the 10th pick in this QB-laden draft.

The Patriots wouldn’t give Brady two years guaranteed for $50 million after he won his sixth Super Bowl. The Chiefs gave Mahomes the biggest contract in NFL history. Andy Reid is no Gen Xer. He’s 65. But he hasn’t been afraid to adapt his game-plan to suit the NFL’s desire for action and push for skilled talent to replace skilled talent.

The Dolphins haven’t won a Super Bowl since Nixon was in the White House. They have the roster and talent now more than ever to succeed in the NFL.

The Dolphins could well snag home field in the AFC. Patriots fans know just how brutal games in January can be when you leave the snow and cold of New England for the bright sun, 88-degree temperatures and 91% humidity of Miami Gardens. Fans in Kansas City, Baltimore, Cincinnati, or Buffalo may learn that lesson soon.

We’re not sure if Kraft could see Stephen Ross (Stephen Freaking Ross!) celebrating in his owner’s box Sunday. We understand if Kraft couldn’t bear to watch. Ross was suspended by the NFL for 76 days last year after it was found his team tampered with Sean Payton and Brady.

If Kraft cannot visualize what’s happening, he may finally feel it in his wallet later this season when the stands in Foxboro are 40% empty – cutting in on concession sales – and next spring with the season ticket renewals fail to materialize.

It’s hard not to fault Belichick and Kraft for running the same playbook with a tight checkbook. Combined, they are 153 years old – 153 years ago, college football was in its second season. We didn’t have telephones, electric lights, or organized professional baseball.

Belichick is in his 49th season coaching in the NFL. Kraft bought the Patriots in 1994. That’s 78 years of collective experience coaching and owning in the NFL.

How dare you question them?

Patriots Twitter (X) tells us three of 191 NFL teams who started 2-6 made the playoffs, which means 188 have not.

The Patriots are 25-1 to make the playoffs, 120-1 to win the AFC East, 200-1 to win the AFC and, you might want to sit down for this one, 300-1 to win the Super Bowl. All those numbers come from DraftKings and have been translated from betting lingo to make it easier on the uninitiated.

The Patriots are 16th in a 16-team conference.

If they go any lower, they’ll be in the NFC.

The Patriots are no different than any great dynasty in its waning days.

Nothing works like it used to. The enemy is at the gates. (Or in the case of the Dolphins, swimming circles around you.)

The masses are restless. Past glories mask present misery.

The Kraft Family has replaced bread and circuses with free parking and a towering multi-million-dollar priapic lighthouse that can be interpreted in several ways.

Including as a giant middle-finger to the fan base.

Pretty soon, Kraft may see that same finger flashed a few thousand times in the stands at Gillette.

With or without an eye exam.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @Bill Speros on X) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

This season, it’s “Banner 18 . . . Or Else.”

“Wait Until Next Year?”

Not this time.

The 2023-24 Celtics are the Tom Brady-in-his-prime Patriots.

The expectation shared by everyone within the reach of Mike Gorman’s voice is universal: Anything less than a title equates to failure, shame and humiliation.

Doc Rivers had “ubuntu.”

Atmospheric anticipation has carried Joe Mazzulla’s Celtics toward “seppuku.”

Metaphorically, anyway.

If the Celtics aren’t going to win 16 games this postseason, they might as well move the franchise to Las Vegas during the All-Star Break and spare us another stress-filled springtime.

The Celtics have done everything this offseason within their authority to build a team they believe will, er must, snag Banner 18.

Wyc Grousbeck gave Brad Stevens the Green Team’s American Express Black card. Stevens spent lavishly on Jaylen Brown’s max contract, an extension for Kristaps Porziņģis, and Jrue Holiday’s moving expenses.

Stevens went full “Extreme Makeover” on the roster. Among the departed: Malcolm Brogdon, Marcus Smart, Grant Williams and Robert Williams.

Celtics fans are going to miss Grant Williams’ toughness, the inside play of Robert Williams, and the wide-open 24-foot bricks launched by Smart.

But how is the view from 35,000 feet? Or from the inside emails and DMs from the NBA inner sanctum?

NBA insider Shams Charania, the chief scoops competitor to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, has also earned one-name status.

Shams bio on X nearly maxes the character count. “Senior lead NBA Insider for The Athletic and Stadium. FanDuel Partner and co-host of Run It Back on FanDuel TV.” He boasts 2.2 million followers on Elon Musk’s social platform. And another 629,000 on Instagram.

The Herald chatted with Charania for 15 minutes the other day. His perspective is unbiased, if not actually informed.

Does he believe the Celtics have done enough to win a championship?

“They’re right on that doorstep,” Charania said. “Getting Kristaps Porziņģis, obviously they went for more offense getting another big man, but losing Marcus Smart, that was a major dent to that team. What Marcus provided for them from an intangible’s perspective, leadership perspective, his presence was beyond stats. That was a very tough loss. It could be seen as a step back, but then you see the Damian Lillard trade happened, and they end up getting Jrue Holiday. That was something that they did not expect. Getting Jrue Holiday makes up for the Smart loss, at least a little bit, at least on the court. Now I think they’re right up there. They should go into the year with championship expectations, no question.”

Charania believes the perception around the league was that the Holiday acquisition was pivotal in closing the circle on the defensive end.

“Holiday, that’s a guy that’s been a multi-time defensive, all defensive team, the contender for Defensive Player of the Year (an award that Smart has won.) Holiday is up there for top defenders. He obviously brings some offense as well, so I don’t think it’s as big of a loss. But from the perspective of being and embodying Celtics leadership, that voice and that toughness that they have in the locker room, we’re only going to see how that plays out. Because if there’s one guy that can have those real conversations with Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum, it is Smart,” he said.

Are the Jays feared and/or respected around the league? Underrated? Overrated?

“Everyone has their opinions, but I think they’re among the two elite wing players that we have in this league,” Charania said. “Optionality is so important to the league today and having star power at that position. But again, you’ve got to win in the playoffs. That’s what builds a championship legacy. That’s what those guys are lacking, is that. Every year is going to be, are they going to be able to break through and get that ring?”

Just 29, Shams has texted, called, emailed and posted his way into the internal machinations of the NBA in just a decade. He broke news of a potential deal for Porziņģis by the Celtics on June 21.

Charania is diligent about separating church and state in terms of gambling in lieu of his ties to FanDuel. His Tweets have moved betting markets. He says he does not bet. Given the multiple interruptions during our chat, it’s unlikely he has time to do so.

When asked for a 2024 NBA Finals winner, Charania deferred by saying, “I don’t make predictions.”

The Celtics and Bucks are +380 co-favorites to win the NBA title at FanDuel. (Shameless Plug Alert) Through tomorrow, current FanDuel customers who bet $5 to get three free months of NBA League Pass. New customers who bet $5 get the same deal, plus $200 in Bonus Bets. Visit FanDuel.com. Wager responsibly.

Shams makes a distinction between the deal that brought in Porziņģis and the one that resulted in Holiday becoming a Celtic.

“They had targeted Porzingis for sure for several weeks. That was on their board,” Charania said. “I don’t think trading Marcus Smart was on their board. After the Brogdon deal fell apart with the Clippers, they had to move Smart. I don’t think that that was totally in the cards, but then they had to go that route because they wanted to extend Porziņģis. There was a sense around the league that the Celtics would have some level of retooling because that was a disappointing end for that team,” he said.

Retooling is one way to put it.

“Even on Joe Mazzulla’s staff, getting Charles Lee, getting Sam Cassell, those are big time additions to what was a younger coaching staff,” Charania said. “Anytime you don’t live up to expectations, there’s going to be changes.”

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos on X) is a senior betting analyst for Bookies.com when he’s not writing here. He can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com)

His Patriots have never played a home game at The Razor with fans in attendance after the team has been eliminated from the playoffs.

Never.

That run ends this season.

Of all the negative superlatives achieved by the current version of Belichick & Sons, this one is perhaps the most sobering.

It demonstrates the success this team (not to mention Tom Brady, whose streak continued in Tampa Bay) enjoyed in the 21st century. And it offers a blinding 500-megawatt beacon of reality about the current squad emanating from the new lighthouse.

It took the Kraft Family nearly 30 years of team ownership, but their Patriots have finally turned the Red Sox triple play:

Unwatchable.

(They are the only team in the NFL yet to score more than 20 points in a game.)

Unlikable.

(See DeVante “Fingertips” Parker and Mac “Nut Tap” Jones.)

Unable to win.

(The Patriots went 39 drives without a touchdown before Sunday, a run that consumed 197:42 of game time.)

Their goodwill has gone hunting.

In 2020, the final two home games of the season came after the Cam Newton-led Patriots were mathematically eliminated from postseason contention.

Combined paid attendance: 0.

Thank you, COVID-19.

If Travis Kelce has his way, we’ll all be vaccinated against the 73rd variant soon. When it comes to embarrassing late-season crowds and empty rows sprinkled throughout Gillette Stadium, the Patriots won’t be bailed out by a pandemic this time.

Just the age-old plague of apathy.

The 2023-24 Patriots are going to be terrible for all to see on NFL RedZone, if not in person.

The Patriots may well exhaust their mathematical postseason probability before Week 15. On Monday, Dec. 18, New England is scheduled to play host to the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs. It could be mercifully flexed to a harmless early Sunday afternoon time slot.

No one is coming to save Kraft’s concession/swag bottom line that week, not even the Swifties.

Taylor’s “cruel summer” had nothing on Foxboro in the middle of December with the Patriots buried in the AFC East standings.

Perhaps Gillette will become another Fenway South of sorts, filled with fans of the visiting team, chanting, cheering and celebrating as the local gridders drift aimlessly into competitive irrelevance.

Picture this. On a wickedly cold on Jan. 7 or 8, a wisp of snow blows throughout Eastern Massachusetts. The New York Jets roll into Gillette Stadium for a Week 18 AFC East clash. The Jets are somehow still alive in the wild card chase thanks to the wizardry of Zach Wilson.

Thousands of Jets fans, their ankle bracelets disabled for the weekend, flood Foxboro to zealously cheer on Gang Green. Maura Healey is going to wish she had invested in jail cells.

Can we get Joe Namath to ring the bell?

How about Fireman Ed?

He can have the 300s all to himself.

The Patriots super scoreboard, meanwhile, has been converted into a giant draft day clock.

That near-frozen figure standing by himself wearing a grey hoodie on the Patriots sideline?

The statue of Bill Belichick.

Erected to honor BB setting the record for the most losses by an NFL head coach the previous week.

Ticket prices have flat-lined. The get-in price for that Week 18 game (day and time TBA) is $66 plus fees on TicketMaster, or $71 with no fees on TickPick.

Prices haven’t flirted with those numbers since the Pats played at Schaefer/Sullivan/Foxboro Stadium.

The most unholy moment of the NFL calendar occurs on Christmas Eve at 8:15 p.m. Eastern in Denver. The Patriots visit the Broncos. The get-in price on TicketMaster is $40, plus fees. The teams are a combined 2-10 and will be in a full-throated struggle for the best available draft pick.

The game is set to air on NFL Network, so George Bailey can (spoiler alert) still save Bedford Falls on NBC.

Mr. Potter couldn’t stomach watching it. Never mind Hans Gruber.

We’ve been flooded with gossip about the future of Belichick and complicity between the coach/GM and Kraft in the team’s current woeful state. We first broached that topic here last week. Time always delivers its verdict.

The Patriots robbed New England of an NFL season months before the schedule played itself out. We await the official time of death.

Football fans from Stockbridge to Salisbury can thank the state legislature and former Gov. Baker for the Sports Wagering Act of 2022.

Since betting launched in the Bay State in early 2023, the overall handle at the eight mobile and three retail betting sites has surpassed the $3 billion mark. Sports betting has already generated more than $60 million in tax revenue for the Commonwealth in just 204 days of measured mobile betting and eight months plus one day of retail betting.

Too bad the Patriots can’t spend that money on a quarterback.

Without legal betting and fantasy football, NFL news here would be shifted to the obituary page.

Of course, it’s possible to win money backing the Patriots when they lose. And there’s no need to go wacky with four-leg, same-game parlays. If you backed the Patriots’ opponent against the spread and the under each week this season, you’d be 10-2 overall. Those who have faded the Patriots are 5-1, as are those riding the under.

Even legal betting doesn’t fill the aperture left by the elimination of three-plus hours of meaningful football each week until January.

Patriots fans across New England face an endless march of apple-picking, fall hikes and Sunday city strolls. Don’t forget your significant other’s family fall weekend in Maine.

Or the necessary household chores.

After all, those gutters aren’t going to clean themselves.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF & @BillSperos on X) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com. When he’s not writing for the Herald, he is a Senior Betting Analyst for bookies.com. Gamble responsibly.

Tom Brady. Bill Belichick. Robert Kraft.

Yet all six Lombardi Trophies were presented first to Kraft.

Success and catastrophe emanate from the top of any organization.

Kraft’s version of the Patriots became a model across pro sports.

Kraft has been a unicorn in terms of his ability to craft a never-before-seen in the NFL combination of football success, financial success, and stability.

Especially when it came to keeping Bill and Tom together for 18 years.

Nothing can smudge his record of success.

But this is 2023.

Jeff Howe of “The Athletic” reported Wednesday that Kraft has grown ever more frustrated with the current state of his NFL franchise and would have no hesitation when it comes to firing Belichick.

Kraft needs to first look in the mirror.

The boss’s share of the blame pie is always the largest.

No one gets a lifetime pass.

Not even Robert Kraft.

Kraft’s Original Sin was not that infamous visit to the Orchids Of Asia Day Spa the day of the 2018 AFC Championship Game.

It was – as we’ve consistently written in this space for more than 3 years – choosing Belichick over Brady when it was time for their divorce.

It did not stop there. Kraft continues to under-spend when it comes to both the cash cap and hard cap. Belichick has happily gone along.

“Insiders” tell us Kraft, not Belichick, wanted Mac Jones. Kraft brought in Bill O’Brien, who flopped quicker than “The Flash.”

As the Patriots visit Sin City this week, the Belichick-Kraft Post-Brady Dynasty has shown itself to be House of Cards.

Of all the NFL franchises Brady left in ruins, none has fallen deeper than the Patriots.

The Patriots without Brady are Las Vegas without gambling, The Sphere and David Copperfield.

No winning. No allure. No magic.

The Patriots are 26-29 in the regular season since Brady (and Gronk) joined the Buccaneers. Belichick overall is 81-94 in games he’s coached without Brady as his starting QB.

Today is Day 1,711 on the Patriots Postseason Victory Drought Calendar.

This remains the longest span without such a win since the gap from the AFC Championship Game at Miami’s Orange Bowl on Jan. 12, 1986, to a Divisional Round triumph over Pittsburgh on Jan. 5, 1997.

Amid the 18K radiance of Kraft’s new $250 million scoreboard, the Patriots Sunday booked their worst home shutout since 1969. The new lighthouse has become a tower of irony masking the franchise’s impotence.

Before Sunday, the Patriots had not lost back-to-back games by more than 30 points in 53 years. Those 1970 Boston Patriots played their home games at Harvard Stadium.

Belichick delivered a “(Bleep) Everybody” performance Sunday during and after the game.

He does “what’s best for the team.” Yet he’s pocketed $60+ million in salary since 2020. He produced a mediocre, unwatchable product on the field, all while padding the coaching staff with his sons and cronies.

His mumbling, one-line answers have long lost their charm. The public deserves more.

None other than Ty Law and Julian Edelman this week questioned Belichick’s ability to buy the groceries. No wonder so many have swamped the “blow it up and start over” bandwagon.

Brady reaffirmed his status as the GOAT of Passive Aggressive Speak Monday. He delivered another long-winded, cliched response to Jim Gray when asked about the Patriots’ plight. But snuck in this inner nugget:

“It was very different when I was in there because I could control a lot of the outcome.”

Translation: “I cleaned up all the mistakes.”

“Brady or Belichick?” was the all-embracing question across the Boston sports scene for two decades. It produced thousands of hours or airtime; millions of words across print, digital and social media; and Terabytes of video on your favorite screens.

More than two years after “Brady or Belichick?” was answered by a drunken QB tossing the Super Bowl trophy across the Tampa River, the last of the “Belichick” insurgents emerged from the football jungle to surrender this week.

Kraft failed to force the 2-year guaranteed offer Brady sought before the 2019 season. Both he and Belichick duped themselves into believing it was their Patriot Way, and not the greatest football player ever, that was essential in producing those 6 Super Bowl rings.

Or certainly the last three.

The Patriots Dynasty has joined the Ottoman Empire, Napoleonic France, and Soviet Union among history’s epic also-rans. Its emperors have no clothes.

Belichick recently mocked the Buccaneers and Rams for “going all in” to win their recent Super Bowls.

The first-place Buccaneers are 3-1. The no-longer-terrible NFC South is the only division in football with three winning teams. The Bucs and Rams boast deeper rosters than New England at each skill position (save for tight end). Both have better records than New England. And both carry better odds than the Patriots to reach the playoffs or win the Super Bowl.

It’s time for the Patriots to go “all-in,” but only after this season is done. There’s no need to tank. Just keep swimming.

Moving on from Belichick is the first step. Kraft must be willing to spend to the projected $243.3 million cap (via Spotrac) in 2024, including $80.1 million in newly available space.

Don’t fret the future of Belichick & Sons. The Hoodie will see unlimited checkbook offers from the Bears, Giants and Commanders if he becomes available. His rights are worth at least a first-round pick, especially a juicy one that can be leveraged to get a top-tier QB or wideout who can catch a football.

If Robert Kraft doesn’t want to be known as the guy who let go of Bill Parcells, Tom Brady, and Bill Belichick, he can pass the baton to Jonathan.

After all, Don Corleone did not break the peace.

That was Michael’s job.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BIllSperos on ‘X’) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

Barry Bruce Bill

Game 33-25-1 31-27-1 26-32-1

Jax v Buff (UK) -5.5 Jax Buff Jax

Hou @ Atl -2 Hou Atl Hou

Car @ Det -10 Det Det Det

TN @ Ind +2 TN Ind TN

NYG @ Mia -11 Mia Mia Mia

NO @ NE -1 NE NE NE

Balt @ Pitt +4 Pitt Pitt Balt

Phil @ LAR +4.5 LAR LAR LAR

Cin @ AZ +3 Cin AZ AZ

NYJ @ Den -1.5 Den NYJ NYJ

KC @ MN +4 MN MN MN

Dal @ SF -4 Dal Dal SF

GB @ LV +1 LV LV GB

Last week 8-7 10-5 8-7

Season 33-25-1 31-27-1 26-32-1

Bruce: All three of us had winning weeks last week. I like that. It’s a lot tougher having to pick all of them instead of being able to cherry-pick the ones you feel strongly about.

I’m taking the Jets at Denver; not sure why. Also don’t know why I’m taking the Pats, who have done nothing to reassure a shaky fanbase. How can they possibly be favored to beat anyone?.

Barry: Satchel Paige once said, “Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.” Or someone. My lead against Bruce and Bill is dwindling, making me more nervous than Mac Jones in a collapsing pocket.

Bill: It appears we might finally get a break from Taylor Swift this week. The Chiefs failure to cover on Sunday night in their 23-20 win was a windfall for your favorite sports book, as about 80% of the public handle was riding with the Swifties at -8. This is it for the Patriots, in terms of a potential loss. The Belichickian Empire has all the look and feel of the Soviet Union in 1991. (When Bill isn’t writing for the Herald, venting at Red Sox ownership, or picking here, he  covers  sports betting and such for bookies.com.)

No, this is not a demand to stick to sports.

We’re fine with Jaylen Brown wanting to change the world.

The whole Kanye thing, not so much.

But Brown has a “role model” vibe that would make any NBA franchise proud. Jayson Tatum, turns out, is a cinephile. Get him on the red carpet at the Oscars.

Check the audio breakdown of his new “FILM” tattoo that aired on “Toucher and Rich” Tuesday.

The “shut up” here is a direct plea to stop complaining about every other whistle.

End the in-game melodrama.

Get back on defense.

Focus on Tommy Awards, not Tony Awards.

The inability of NBA officials to keep up with some of the world’s best athletes at full speed is
undeniable.

The bottom line in 2023: Professional athletes are going to get hosed by officials.

Sauce Gardner may never recover from what happened to the Jets on Monday night.

Any fan with an iPhone and high-speed internet can share video of a missed call to millions on
social media before the end of the next commercial break.

Not all NBA refs who get it wrong are disciples of Tim Donaghy. Rather they are merely human
beings trying to be perfect in an imperfect situation.

Working the refs is futile unless you happen to be Magic Johnson or Michael Jordan.

These “Jays” don’t share the same court cred as those “Jays.”

Joe Mazzulla and his refurbished staff are charged to work the refs. Let them do their job.

Constant bickering at the officials was one symptom of the virus afflicting Boston.

A lack of maturity, lack of toughness, and lack of control formed the malware that doomed this
team during its past two playoff runs.

We’re not taking anything away from Steph Curry or Jimmy Buckets (another pride of Marquette University).

But an MIT study showed that committing 100 turnovers against the Warriors in six games or going down 3-0 to the Heat after six games against Atlanta and a seven-game series with Philly can never equal a championship.

Brad Stevens made it clear during Media Day on Monday that the Celtics are in it to win it – meaning Banner 18.

Boston is theirs for the taking. The Celtics are the only big-four team in town within sight of a
title. The Red Sox, Bruins and Patriots are in various stages of renovation. For most of the
1980s, Boston was a basketball town with a baseball, hockey and football team. These Celtics
aren’t those Celtics. But the Jays can be the collective Sports Face of The City should they
choose to accept the assignment.

A year ago, the Celtics stumbled into the season having just suspended Ime Udoka. No one
knew what to expect. Boston soared during the regular season. Mazzulla’s learning curve spun
into a rotary during the postseason.

Metaphorically, he’s still spinning around next to Fresh Pond, yearning for a break in the traffic.

To his credit, Wyc Grousbeck recognized that good enough was not good enough.

Adults joined the coaching staff. Jaylen Brown got his max deal. Boston overspent on Kristaps
Porzingis. The Celtics front office knew Dame Lillard was not walking through the door at
Auerbach Center. But it pounced once Jure Holiday became available.

The Celtics did not “Blow It Up” this offseason. They did, however, light the fuse.

Stevens said team ownership’s “willingness to spend” showed “our eagerness to be the
best possible team we can be.”

Paging Robert Kraft.

Paging John Henry.

No one on the Celtics was offering guarantees Monday.

And that’s too bad.

The Celtics could use some balls to go with their new-found grit.

Holiday brings a ring to the Celtics roster. Holiday posted a near-triple-double in the Bucks title-
clinching win over Phoenix in 2021. He enabled Giannis Antetokounmpo to reach the top of
NBA’s Olympus and has photos with the Larry O’Brien Trophy to prove it.

“He’s always going to be a champion forever,” the Greek Freak said of his former teammate
Monday.

Holiday’s job is clear in Boston: Turn Tatum and Brown into champions.

Smart’s departure is an SAT example of addition by subtraction.

Holiday won’t be chucking bricks from 24 feet at the buzzer while Tatum and Brown are waiting
to fire potential game-winners. There was a reason why Smart always found himself open like a
7-11.

Nor will Holiday try to play assistant coach during timeouts. It’s too bad we won’t be able to see
new Celtics assistant coach Sam Cassell smack Smart upside the head the next time Smart grabs
the clipboard in the fourth quarter. Cassell has three rings. They leave a mark.

Tatum bulked up in the offseason and worked out with Paul Pierce. Hopefully Pierce’s killer
mentality was contagious. Tatum’s Game 7 performance against Philly this past spring and his
Game 6 effort at Milwaukee in 2021 are Exhibits A and B in demonstrating his greatness.

Neither Tatum, nor Brown, nor any Celtics team in the past 15 seasons, has been able to win
their final playoff game.

Tatum idolizes Kobe Bryant.

Well, if he could, Kobe would dunk over both Deuce and his dad, knocking them on their
collective rear ends while doing so. He’d then bury a 3-pointer from the wing while Deuce’s dad
was demanding justice from the officials.

And Pierce would nod with approval.

Losing Smart, Rob Williams and Grant Williams triggered angst among many citizens of Celtics
Nation.

Smart’s exit removes the shield of blame and accountability. The 2023-24 Celtics are improved, if not new. DraftKings has them tied with the Bucks at +400 as co-favorites to win the 2024 NBA Finals.

In Year 7 of their partnership, Tatum and Brown are finally the main attraction in Boston.

Their play can do all the talking this time.

And own the city in the process.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

The faster one travels, the slower the minutes pass.

Einstein’s general theory of relativity adds gravity as a mitigating factor affecting time.

The more forceful the gravity, the weaker the clock.

If you ever found yourself near a black hole, you might spend an hour or two before returning to Earth, where thousands of years have passed.

This was a scientific version of the “doctrine of eternal recurrence” philosophy offered by Friedrich Nietzsche.

Also known as “time is a flat circle.”

The German philosopher Nietzsche predated Einstein and credible minds have argued that Einstein felt his influence.

No matter your choice of explanation – scientific or philosophical – the Patriots have fallen into their own vortex of spinning time and energy.

The clock has stopped.

The red, white, blue, and black hole features a round trip to a place where the quarterback is an  alleged cheat, and the issue concerns potentially deflated balls.

During the Patriots’ 15-10 win over the Jets in Week 3 on Sunday, Patriots QB Mac Jones and Jets defender Sauce Gardner had an altercation that included physical contact in the region of the cornerback’s private parts.

Did Mac stir the Sauce?

Gardner said Jones was attempting to perform an on-the-field vasectomy, “trying to prevent me from having kids in the future.”

When Jones was asked about his attempted jewel heist, he offered an awkward vibe last felt in these parts during Tom Brady’s “those balls are perfect” Jan. 22, 2015, press conference at the dawn of Deflategate.

That afternoon, the world watched NBC’s Peter Alexander ask: “Is Tom Brady a cheater?”

Brady’s infamous “I don’t believe so” response triggered eye rolls from Route 1 to the Pacific Coast Highway.

Jones offered a similar explanation lacking in conviction and clarity when asked about his altercation with Gardner.

“On that play, nothing was intentional,” Jones told WEEI Monday. “I just got up and went back to the huddle, and that’s it. … It’s football. Just trying to get up and go back to the huddle. And like I just said, nothing there.”

Or nothing left?

The alleged “Cup Check” occurred in the fourth quarter. Jones got wrecked by Jets linebacker C.J. Mosley on an attempted sneak. After the play, Jones and Gardner made contact and exchanged unpleasantries.

“That’s probably the first time that ever happened to me,” Gardner said. “He got up and he just came up to me [saying], like, ‘Good job.’ But while he’s saying that, he hit me in my private parts.”

Whether he likes it or not, Jones has earned an emerging reputation as a dirty player.

A very cheesy Mac.

Jones yanked down Carolina defensive end Brian Burns by the ankle after a strip sack in 2021.

In Week 7 last season, Jones flung up his leg in what appeared to be an attempt to prevent Bears safety Jaquan Brisker from being able to procreate.

Jones threw his body at Eli Apple’s knees in Week 16 on a fumble return that was eventually ruled an incomplete pass. The hit wasn’t suspect as much as the place, a full 10 yards behind the Bengals linebacker and ball carrier Germaine Pratt.

Apple called it a dirty play.

Jones could not deny what he did at that time, but said he was just trying to “stop a fast guy from getting to another fast guy” – meaning Patriots WR Tyquan Thornton. It was Thornton who was the closest Patriot to Pratt.

Apple, Sauce, and many others have accused Jones of dirty play.

“Everybody has an opinion,” Jones said three days after that Bengals game. “And the biggest thing for me is focusing on being the best teammate I can be and earning the respect of the people in this building and the people I care about.”

Unfortunately, NFL players aren’t predisposed to back teammates considered cheap-shot artists.

The NFL fined Jones $23,976 for his illicit actions in that Bengals game – the hit on Apple and Jones’ pile dive following Rhamondre Stevenson’s game-losing fumble late in the fourth quarter.

Jones was dinged by the NFL for $10,609 after he flicked the ball at Buffalo DE A.J. Epenesa during a 24-10 Patriots loss in Week 13.

That fine was weak sauce.

What exactly happened between Jones and Gardner remains a matter of perspective and interpretation.

“Yanny or Laurel” and “Blue Dress or Yellow Dress” have met their match in the Zapruder film.

Dianna Russini of The Athletic shared a clip on X from a “league source” that purportedly showed “a closer view” of Jones hitting Gardner in his privates.

It is definitive proof Jones was out to make Sauce the newest member of the sopranos.

Or it’s reminiscent of Chris Mortensen reporting that “11 of 12” Patriots footballs used against the Colts in that AFC Championship game were “significantly underinflated” by two pounds per square inch.

Turns out, they were not.

If Gardner was “significantly underinflated,” he bounced back quickly.

Jones has lost the presumption of innocence in these sorts of affairs.

And he isn’t nearly quarterback enough to act like that doesn’t matter.

If all this isn’t enough to reinforce the “doctrine of eternal recurrence,” or proof that time can be slowed, Ben Roethlisberger and Jerome Bettis claimed on a podcast this week that the Patriots “cheated” in the 2004 AFC Championship Game.

Their proof – a fourth-and-1, first-quarter run stop after stealing signals during a timeout.

Of course, cats and dogs knew the Steelers were going to run in that situation, there was no timeout called beforehand, the player who ran back with the stolen signals (Ted Washington) wasn’t on the Patriots at the time, and Bettis fumbled the ball.

On the next play, as Tom E. Curran noted Tuesday, Brady launched a 60-yard TD pass caught by Deion Branch.

Losing opponents spreading lies about the Patriots?

Flat circle indeed.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos on X) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

“No Need To Panic” was the headline on the email direct from the Politburo to my inbox.

It’s been 22 years since the Patriots began 0-2.

New England’s NFL entry last fell to 0-2 Sept. 23, 2001.

That 10-3 loss to the Jets has been bronzed.

It was the first game for the Patriots after 9/11.

With 5:01 left in the fourth quarter, Mo Lewis knocked Drew Bledsoe out of the game.

(It was a savage, but clean, shoulder hit. Bledsoe was still on the field and not heading out of bounds.)

And launched Tom Brady into immortality.

Week 3 of the 2001 season marked Brady’s first NFL start.

Tom Brady 1 – Peyton Manning 0.

Just 24, Brady would go on to win his first Super Bowl that season.

At 24, Mac Jones needed a boost from Bill O’Brien to beat Bailey Zappe for the QB1 spot.

The final bell has since tolled for Brady’s NFL playing career.

Tom is not coming through that door …  until next June.

Roger Goodell’s Ministry of Disinformation – the same folks who told us concussions were no big deal, 11 of 12 balls were significantly underinflated, and that turf isn’t a problem – offered some data points aimed to soothe fans in places like Cincinnati, New England, Denver, and elsewhere, whose teams are 0-2.

Here is what the Ministry of Disinformation volunteered as statistical Xanax until Sunday’s game between the Patriots and Jets at MetLife Stadium:

An 0-2 team has made the playoffs in 7 of the past 10 seasons, including the Bengals in 2022.

Whew!

That should make you feel much better about the troubles on Route 1 in Foxboro.

I’d give the Red Sox better odds to make the playoffs next season than the Patriots making the playoffs this season.

A broader look at the numbers between 1990-2022, a fairly significant statistical sample, show that 265 teams began their seasons 0-2.

Of those, 30 made the playoffs.

That 11.3% probability translates into +785 on your favorite legal sports betting app.

Belichickians can take solace in the fact that oddsmakers are pricing the Patriots much higher than our statistically typical 0-2 team.

New England is +385 to make the playoffs at DraftKings, boosting their postseason probability to 20.62%.

Maybe DraftKings knows something about the offensive line that we don’t.

There is an absurdity about getting too upset after an 0-2 start, especially considering 87.5% of the season has yet to be played.

The Patriots could always close the season 15-0.

Or 0-15.

But — and you just knew it was coming — here is the dirty secret.

The following is Not Suitable For Work, or school, or a family newspaper.

But we are contractually obligated to share it.

The NFL does not want you to know what happens to teams who start 0-3.

It’s rated NC-17.

Since the NFL expansion in 1979, only 6 of 174 teams that started 0-3 made the playoffs.

Or 3.4%.

The numbers are even more gruesome in the 21st Century.

An even 100 teams have started 0-3 since 2001.

Just one — the 2018 Texans — made the playoffs. They finished 11-5 and got bounced in the first round.

That means teams who start their season 0-3 – based on the data in this century – have a whopping 1% chance to make the playoffs.

1%.

0-3?

Rip 2023

Bye-Bye Bill(s)

#TankForShadeur

This lineup is not equipped to overcome 100-1 odds.

This arithmetic makes Sunday’s game against the Jets a “Must Win.”

Looking beyond the raw probability numbers, a loss Sunday leaves the Patriots 0-2 in the AFC East

With games remaining at Buffalo and an oft ill-fated visit to South Florida.

The Patriots would be two games behind the Jets.

And possibly three games back of Miami.

On the wrong side of every tiebreaker.

With a week left in baseball season.

The psychological and emotional trauma resulting from a loss to a Zach Wilson-led team ending the Patriots run of 14-straight wins over the Jets is incalculable.

Freud never went that deep.

Or dark.

The season is over if the Patriots fall to 0-3 on Sunday. At least in terms of reaching the playoffs.

Math don’t lie, either.

On the bright side, an 0-3 start would accelerate the inevitable change coming to Gillette Stadium.

Bill Belichick is 71.

Brady fought Father Time to a draw.

But the Old Man is coming for his former coach with red-eyed vengeance.

Toby Keith summed up 2023 Belichick thusly: “He’s not as good as he once was, but he’s good once as he ever was.”

The running field-goal-block call Sunday night saved special teams play from NFL irrelevance.

Genius at work.

Once.

But the big picture is blurry.

The Patriots are trying to win in 2023 the same way they won in 2001.

Defense and special teams carry the load.

The offensive does the bare minimum.

Skill players are interchangeable widgets.

That all works wonderfully when you have a cure-all at quarterback.

Sadly, this defense is not nearly as skilled or punishing as its early-21st-Century predecessor.

Willie McGinest, Tedy Bruschi, and Ty Law have no peers on the 2023 roster.

The NFL has long-since morphed into an offense-first-and-last league.

The generational differences between Mike McDaniel and Belichick were broadcast to the world in high-def Sunday night.

Think Kennedy and Eisenhower at the 1961 inauguration.

The New Frontier for the Patriots remains on hold.

Whether that happens sooner or later depends on the outcome Sunday afternoon.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) is a Senior Betting Analyst at Bookies.com and can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

There’s ironic genius and simplicity in Tom Scholz’s signature anthem.

His band was named in honor of a Hub entrenched in history.

Past revolutions. Past glories. Past heroes.

There’s been a great deal of looking back these days in and around Boston.

Why not?

It can hurt to look at the present.

Tom Brady delivered his victory speech at Gillette Stadium last Sunday at halftime. After the
Patriots trailed 16-0 in the first quarter.

It was as if Luke Skywalker came “home,” claimed his NFL birthright, and declared final victory
over the Evil Empire/former coach.

Yoda approved. The Patriots played just well enough to lose.

Brady, at 46, is now the most wanted man in Gotham City since Bane thanks to the four-snap-
and-out departure of Aaron Rodgers.

Gang Green is littered with millions who would happily trade their first born (pet or person) in
exchange for Brady joining the Jets.

Red Sox and Yankees fans – the few who showed up at Fenway Park this week – had no choice
but to embrace the past as these former titans of the diamond fought for last place.

The Red Sox and Yankees once literally slugged it out for playoff berths and pennants. The cost
of tickets that could be had at Fenway Park often flirted with four figures.

The get-in price this week bottomed out at $1, according to Boston Herald baseball muse
Gabrielle Starr.

Inflation drove that figure to $3 by Wednesday. Freebies proliferated on social media.

When Chaim Bloom was put out of our misery, the name Theo Epstein immediately proliferated
across talk radio and social media.

Sam Kennedy told us, sadly, that Theo is not walking through that door on Jersey Street.
The Celtics flaunt their addiction to the past. It’s an all-purpose crutch whenever someone
mentions they’ve added just one banner since “Crocodile Dundee.”

The Bruins, however, are poised to win the “About Face” prize this fall.

This is the Bruins Centennial.

Every seat at TD Garden comes with its own rear-view mirror.

The 2023-24 season will be Boston’s 100th in the NHL. Given the Bruins’ catastrophic exit from
the playoffs last spring, and the unceremonious gutting of the roster this offseason, 1924 looks
a lot more appealing than 2024.

The Bruins loaded the 2023-24 calendar with banner events throughout their milestone season.

None include another Stanley Cup banner being raised to the rafters.

The Cup was busy crisscrossing the Bay State this summer, thanks to Las Vegas coach Bruce
Cassidy and center Jack Eichel.

The Bruins unveiled their “Historic 100” Tuesday. This, by the way, is just a precursor to the All-
Centennial Team. You’re going to have to wait for the Centennial Gala on Oct. 12 for those
names to be unveiled.

Any list of 100 anything is impressive. This one was the product of an expert panel of which I
was not a member.

There were pockets of feigned outrage over some obscure omissions. Not here.

Beyond the talent of the players honored, what made this list exceptional was the manner in
which the Bruins chose to present it.

Fitting a list spanning the past 100 years, the Bruins opted to go old school.

Each player chosen to the “Historic 100” was hand drawn and illustrated by Winchester artist
and TD Garden usher Dave Olsen.

There were no computers in 1924. And there were no computers used in creating the images of
the “Historic 100” in 2023.

“Pen, ink. Watercolor markers,” Olsen told me when asked for his tools of choice.

Olsen began sketching hockey players for the Woburn Daily Times in 1977 while he was still in
high school. His work appeared in multiple newspapers over the ensuing years.

He drew the covers of several Bruins media guides. He’s been an usher at TD Garden for 10
years and took the job, in part, to get his work in front of the right people in the Bruins front
office.

Olsen was tasked to draw the players on the “Historic 100” by Bruins Creative Services Director
Mark Majewski.

The Bruins had nearly a century to create this list. Olsen only had about two months to individually
draw each of the 100 players honored.

On his busiest days, Olsen was able to knock out five players: “I started drawing at 9 a.m. and
went until midnight.”

He realized this wasn’t an insane or impossible task about the time he finished his 50th drawing.

When he began drawing in the spring, he did not have the complete list.

He knocked off the obvious choices first.

Bobby Orr. Phil Esposito. Patrice Bergeron. Ray Bourque. Derek Sanderson. Stan Jonathan.

The Bruins gave Olsen reference photos of each player. But some choices were left to the artist.

His image of Orr features a thick, busy head of brown hair straight out of “The Partridge
Family.”

“I like the years Orr had that look. Orr had a crew cut when he started with the Bruins. I wasn’t
going to draw Orr in a crew cut,” Olsen said.

Heresy avoided.

The dark mane on Sanderson sits above a face featuring the slightest of winks.

Perhaps Turk was headed home at 5 a.m. after another night of “sensational fun” (his words,
not mine) at Daisy Buchanan’s.

Of course, there are critics. “Someone posted, ‘Who drew this picture of Bergeron?’ ” Olsen said.

Drawn illustrations are not meant to be a perfect likeness, but rather the best depiction of each
player in his era.

Olsen scored 33.33 hat tricks this time.

“I am putting my artwork out there, for sure. It’s a close representation,” he said. “They are
hockey players. Some of these guys are beat up. They’re not exactly George Clooney’s.”

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

Bruce Springsteen?

Beyoncé?

Put them at the bottom of the marquee.

After the word “with.”

They are pedestrian lounge acts compared to the mega superstar returning to Gillette Stadium this weekend.

The “Tom Brady 2023 Victory Tour” opens in Foxboro on Sunday.

The Jacksons’ 1984 Victory tour doomed the Sullivan family financially when it owned the Patriots in the Bad Old Days.

Brady’s 2023 Victory Tour will fatten Robert Kraft’s wallet. But it carries an incalculable cost.

Tom Brady Day marks the end of three-way hostilities between Brady, his former coach and their boss.

But this is no cease fire. It’s a capitulation.

The deck of the USS Missouri.

Yorktown.

Appomattox.

The “Lost Cause” is over.

Brady won.

(Social Media Fake Outrage Alert Disclaimer: We’re not alluding to anyone being sympathetic toward, or in line with Imperial Japan, the British Empire, or the Confederacy. It’s about winning and losing.)

Brady left New England and went scorched earth through Atlanta and the rest of the NFC South for three seasons, earning three playoff berths, two division titles, and a seventh Super Bowl ring.

Since Brady’s exit, all that was “The Patriot Way” and the mystique inside the “Kremlin on Route 1” dissipated quicker than the Soviet Union.

Kraft is apologizing to season ticket holders.

Belichick bottled up 20 year’s worth of excuses and has since used them all during the past three
years. And he’s taken plenty of days off.

Brady?

He kept winning. Kept throwing. Kept completing passes. Kept stacking TDs. Shattering milestones as if they were candied glass.

Brady’s nightmare season of 2022 ended with a losing record, a division title and a home playoff game.
A home playoff game?

That’s something we haven’t seen in Foxboro for 1,343 days. The Patriots continue their longest run without a postseason victory in 26 years every day until their next playoff win.

Sure, Brady tapped out in 2019 and colluded with the Dolphins. But only after the Patriots tapped out on Brady.

Since Brady left in 2020, the 24-25 Patriots went through Cam Newton, Brian Hoyer, Jarrett Stidham, Bailey Zappe and Mac Jones as potential Brady replacements as if they were chain smoking at an AA meeting.

Jones was evidence of Belichick’s post-Brady Brilliance after his successful rookie campaign. Jones’ sophomore struggles suddenly made him a quarterback that Belichick never really wanted but was forced to take by his owner.

Brady “sucked” enough to retire after last season (for now), the then-45-year-old GOAT still led the NFL in pass attempts and completions.

And to think Belichick drafted the first of four would-be Brady replacements in 2005. Matt Cassel. The late Ryan Mallet. (May He Rest In Peace.) Jimmy Garoppolo. Stidham.

Brady outmaneuvered the Hoodie each time.

Then there was “Expletive” Johnny Foxboro.

Gisele is probably still fuming about that one.

Brady says his family will join him in Foxboro on Sunday.

No word if Brady’s brood includes his former spouse, Jack’s mom, or anyone else from the cast of “Blue Bloods.”

Whatever animosity that once allegedly existed between Brady and his former bosses has been feverishly buried by all sides. They’ve been swapping metaphorical spit for months.

“The greatest player in the history of the game played right here in Foxboro,” Kraft said following Brady’s second retirement this past February.

Belichick unequivocally lauded Brady twice on Monday. And he managed to do so without mentioning Lawrence Taylor as a modifier.

Who says you can’t teach an old coach new tricks?

“Tom has meant so much to this team, this organization and me personally. It was a tremendous
experience to be able to coach him and for us to share the things that we shared together, a lot of
player-coach relationship,” Belichick said during a video conference call. “Recognizing him for all of his great achievements here is more than appropriate.”

Brady remains magnanimous.

“I love the sport, and I love the Patriots. So, going up there to see a lot of my friends and family
is going to be a great experience,” he said on his “Let’s Go” podcast.

Brady should enter the stadium Sunday aboard Scott Zolak’s unicorn. Shed his cape unveiling a full uniform. Then sign a one-day contract using Jonathan Kraft’s back as an impromptu table. And light up the Eagles for 505 yards, 3 TDs and no picks, like he did Super Bowl 52.

Unfortunately, Belichick would probably bench Matthew Judon this time and the Patriots would still lose.

Oh, well.

Hopefully, this won’t be the last visit on “Brady Victory Tour” this season. The Patriots should wring every dollar they can out of this.

How about:

Week 2 vs. Miami: No. 12 Jersey Retirement Day

Week 5 vs. New Orleans: Teammate Tribute Day

Week 7 vs. Buffalo: Win A Date With Tom Day

Week 9 vs. Washington: Brady Highlight Day

Week 10 vs. Indianapolis in Germany: International Tom Brady Appreciation Day

Week 13 vs. LA Chargers: Tom Brady Bobblehead Day

Week 15 vs. Kansas City (Monday Night): An Intimate Evening With 7 Rings

Week 18 vs. NY Jets: Tom Brady Statue Day

And speaking of the Tom Brady statue, size matters.

If Brady’s statue doesn’t have its own gravitational pull, is not visible from at least 48 states, or does not force air traffic and the Space Station to be re-routed, consider that an insult to his legacy.

The Lighthouse? That can be the left pinky toe.

Welcome back, Tom.

You have been missed.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

Phillips first played Exeter in 1878.

The Wellesley-Needham high school rivalry dates back to 1882.

The NFL expanded to Boston 91 years ago.

George Marshall and his three partners were awarded an expansion NFL franchise. The team, composed of leftovers from the Cleveland Tornadoes, were incarnated as the Boston Braves for the 1932 season. The Braves became the Redskins in 1935 because of “so much confusion” caused by them sharing the same name as Boston’s National League baseball team.

The team’s coach, Lone Star Dietz, was “an Indian” and the team had “several Indian players,” so Marshall said the upgraded moniker was a natural.

The 1933 Boston Redskins finished 5-5-2. The 2023 Patriots would do well to match that mediocrity.

The Boston Redskins reached the NFL Championship Game in 1936. Marshall shifted the game from Fenway Park to the Polo Grounds in New York due to poor home attendance. The Redskins bolted to Washington, D.C., in 1937.

A full season of pro football would not return to Boston until the Patriots arrived with the AFL in 1960.

Every game played by every team mentioned above had one thing in common:

Gambling.

Gambling on football has existed since football has existed.

If you cannot accept that historic reality, you might not be emotionally equipped to handle the truth about the Tooth Fairy, Hogwarts, or anything on the Disney Channel.

What is new in 2023 is that anyone over 21 is able to legally bet on the NFL in Massachusetts for the first time.

Thousands of legal NFL wagers have already been made at the eight mobile and three retail sports books in Massachusetts.

Team futures. Player futures. Playoff futures.

There are betting lines available on each of the Patriots 17 regular-season games this season, depending on where you chose to invest, er wager, your money.

Here is the rundown, via DraftKings. And our pick for each game against the spread.

In my other life (shameless plug alert), I am a Senior Betting Analyst with bookies.com. That doesn’t necessarily mean I have any idea I know what I am doing when I pick games. But it does sound pretty cool to someone who used to bet parlay cards when he was 11 years old and spent his teen years at Wonderland and Raynham Park.

Our only guarantee here is … fun.

Week 1

Sept. 10 – Gillette Stadium

Eagles at Patriots (+4.5)

Pick: Patriots +4.5

Buzz: Tom Brady Day – Take 1. Bill Belichick can’t take another “L” with Brady watching in Foxboro. He’ll have his defense ready for Philly. Think Super Bowl 36.

Week 2

Sept. 17 – Gillette Stadium

Dolphins at Patriots (+2.5)

Pick: Patriots +2.5

Buzz: Heartburn. Profanity. Angina. It’s all here.

Week 3

Sept. 24 – MetLife Stadium

Patriots (+4.5) at Jets

Pick: Jets -4.5

Buzz: The Patriots have won 13 in a row (straight up) against the Jets. But Aaron Rodgers is 128-88 ATS since 2009. He’ll get the cover here.

Week 4

Oct. 1 – Jerry World

Patriots (+4.5) at Cowboys

Pick: Cowboys -4.5

Buzz: If Dak & Co. can hold on to the ball, this will be an easy home cover for the ‘Boys.

Week 5

Oct. 8 – Gillette Stadium

Saints at Patriots (-2.5)

Pick: Patriots -2.5

Buzz: Derek Carr and the Saints are just one of three teams that are underdogs to the Patriots this season. After a brutal first four weeks, the Patriots should win and cover at home, especially at this number.

Week 6

Oct. 15 – Allegiant Stadium

Patriots (+1) at Raiders

Pick: Patriots +1

Buzz: All the Ghosts of Hoodie Past are on the marquee in Sin City this week. Coach Josh McDaniels. QB Jimmy Garoppolo. DE Chandler Jones. Part-owner Tom Brady. Redemption for 2022.

Week 7

Oct. 22 – Gillette Stadium

Bills at Patriots (+3.5)

Pick: Bills -3.5

Buzz: This line could balloon between now and kickoff. If you’re in the mood to back Buffalo here, wager now and beat the rush.

Week 8

Oct. 29 – SunLife/Jimmy Buffet/Publix/Hard Rock Stadium

Patriots (+4) at Dolphins

Pick: Dolphins -4

Buzz: The Patriots haven’t been the same in South Florida since they tore down the Orange Bowl.

Week 9

Nov. 5 – Gillette Stadium

Commanders at Patriots (-3.5)

Pick: Patriots -3.5

Buzz: No happy homecoming for the Redskins, er, Commanders this week.

Week 10

Nov. 12 – Frankfurt Stadium

Patriots (-4) vs Colts

Pick: Patriots -4

Buzz: Bill Belichick’s defense vs. a 21-year-old, rookie quarterback who played just 24 games at Florida? Anthony Richardson ist kaputt.

Week 11

BYE WEEK

Buzz: No days off. Rake those leaves.

Week 12

Nov. 26 – MetLife Stadium

Patriots (+1.5) at NY Giants

Pick: Giants -1.5

Buzz: Two feeble offenses serve up a leftover turkey on Thanksgiving Day weekend.

Week 13

Dec. 3 – Gillette Stadium

LA Chargers at Patriots (+1.5)

Pick: Chargers -1.5

Buzz: The Bolts and their high-voltage offense have their phasers set on “cover.”

Week 14

Dec. 7 – Heinz Field

Patriots (+2) at Steelers

Pick: Patriots +2

Buzz: The Steelers have gone from “Terrible Towels” to “Just Terrible.” A Thursday night game that could well be flexed back to Sunday, or 2025.

Week 15

Dec. 18 – Gillette Stadium

Chiefs at Patriots (+4)

Pick: Chiefs -4

Buzz: We’re being asked to believe – factoring in the 3 points automatically given to the home team – that the Patriots would be just a 1-point underdog to the Chiefs on a neutral field this Monday night. Perhaps oddsmakers believe Patrick Mahomes II will have homefield clinched.

Week 16

Dec. 24 – Empower Field at Mile High

Patriots (+2) at Broncos

Pick: Broncos -2

Buzz: Who can think of a better way to spend Christmas Eve than watching Sean Payton and Russell Wilson tear up the Patriots defense? “Ho! Ho! Ho! Now I have a real coach.”

Week 17

Dec. 31 – Highmark Stadium

Patriots (+6.5) at Bills

Pick: Bills -6.5

Buzz: The Patriots end a year to forget by getting blown out in Buffalo.

Week 18

Jan. 7 – Gillette Stadium

Jets at Patriots (+1)

Pick: Patriots +1

Buzz: The Jets may need a win here to reach the playoffs. All the more reason they’ll find an inconceivable way to lose.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

So is Robert Kraft.

“Barbie” took in more than $1 billion this summer. The “girl power” flick was powered by a script recycled from pick-your-favorite-1970-something episode of “Maude.” It portrayed the struggles of women suffering under the iron-fist of a male-dominated patriarchy with fun, flair, color, a plush wardrobe, and nifty visuals.

Having been married for 34 years come November, the concept of a patriarchy carries as much relevance to me as the latest dining trends in Kyrgyzstan. Yet “Barbie” was immensely popular and packed theatres. Nicole Kidman can go home now.

“Ken,” played by a very chiseled Ryan Gosling, was a clueless sort who thought the world revolved around his whims and needs.

“Ken” is the type of guy born on 1st-and-goal at the 1 and thinks he drove the first 99 yards himself.

“Ken” would believe he won 6 Super Bowls because of coaching acumen. He would deem his skillful stewardship of the Patriots franchise as the key factor that delivered a Score of Success © in New England. “Ken’s” pernicious ways with the NFL’s salary cap and “cash spending” would be – in his mind – the most essential ingredient in stitching those six banners that adorn Gillette Stadium’s north end zone.

The delusion of “Ken” has dominated Foxboro since Tom Brady – our Margot Robbie – left Massachusetts for Hurricane Alley and other points West and South.

Bill Belichick reached peak “Ken” during his weekly sponsored appearance on WEEI’s “The Greg Hill Show” the other day. The coach/GM/Hoodie/genius was asked about the Patriots being ranked 31st in NFL in cash spending and their overall spending habits. For 2024, the Pats rank dead last in cash spending, also according to OverTheCap.

“Are the Patriots cheap?” was the question, at least in theory.

“Ken’s” answer, to summarize, was “no.”

“Cash spending isn’t really that relevant. It’s cap spending,” Belichick said. “We spend to the salary cap. That’s what’s important.”

Belichick takes the arrows for the fate of the Patriots. But he does not control the checkbook. That responsibility belongs to Kraft. In the same way that John Henry has put the handcuffs on the Red Sox when it comes to spending on legitimate starting pitching.

The salary cap is fluid. According to the NFL collective bargaining agreement, salary cap penalties are assessed against a three-year average. Money can be moved in the moment to meet an immediate need.

Belichick admits teams can spend aggressively in terms of cash, for now.

“You can’t sustain the 20 years of success that we sustained by overspending every year without having to eventually pay those bills and play with a lesser team. So I think if you look at the teams that have done that, that’s kinda where some of them ended up. Jacksonville back in ‘14, the Rams are going through it, Tampa is going through it now. So, I’m not saying there’s anything right or wrong with it. It’s just a different way of doing things and there’s the results for doing that.”

That’s no excuse for why the team is $16 million under the cap this season with a roster bereft of offensive skill, strength, and talent.

Did anyone else notice the key element missing here?

Brady was the best salary cap shield in the history of organized sports. Any “Ken” could work salary cap magic with Brady at quarterback. Especially when Brady was willing to restructure his deal whenever it was necessary to accommodate another request.

Yes, Brady got paid. But not nearly as well as others at his position. And the timing of his checks never mattered.

We still don’t know the full scale of what the Patriots lost by not keeping Brady in the fold until he “sucked.” In much the same way we are still learning the long-term effects of COVID-lockdowns that needlessly curtailed medical care, education, and commerce.

It is also laughable for Belichick to cite the Rams and Buccaneers as “lesser” teams.

Once upon a time, winning Super Bowls mattered on Route 1.

The Buccaneers won a Super Bowl by going “all-in” with Brady. Not including the Super Bowl, the Buccaneers have played host to three playoff games in the past three years.

Kraft has never met a home playoff game, or a home playoff gate, he didn’t like.

The Rams also won a Super Bowl by going “all-in.” They even beat Brady (in the playoffs) to do it. Neither Belichick nor Kraft has done that.

Both the Bucs and Rams won Super Bowls in their home stadiums.

The Patriots have not won a playoff game home or away in nearly five years.

It remains their longest run without a postseason victory since 1996.

The preferred narrative is that the Rams and Bucs are beyond redemption, but the Patriots are in a happy place.

The 2023 projected over/under win total for each team is 6.5. Prices vary by sportsbook.

All three are ridiculous longshots to win the Super Bowl. The Patriots odds to make the playoffs (+245) are marginally better than the Rams’ (+310). The Patriots are +800 to win the AFC East, while the Rams are +1000 for the NFC West and the Buccaneers are +1000 in the NFC South.

In terms of quarterbacks, Mac Jones and Matthew Stafford are a push on Mac’s best day. Baker Mayfield could do as well as Mac under Bill O’Brien’s tutelage. The Rams (Cooper Kupp, Cam Akers, Demarcus Robinson) and the Bucs (Mike Evans, Chris Godwin) are deeper at the key offensive skill positions than New England.

To suggest that the Patriots have done it “better” without Brady, and then to cite two teams that have won Super Bowls since Brady left New England, is “Ken” level clueless.

Even for the Patriots’ resident genius.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

The one-time face of the Red Sox franchise returns Friday to Fenway Park.

Mookie Betts stands alongside Babe Ruth, Carlton Fisk, Sparky Lyle, Reggie Smith, Jeff Bagwell, Roger Clemens, Dennis Eckersley, Waite Hoyt and Jackie Robinson (look it up) as among the greats who got away.

Fittingly, Betts triggered the Great Exodus.

Betts and David Price were shipped to SoCal on Feb. 11, 2020, in exchange for three players and Competitive Balance Tax relief.

Five weeks later, Tom Brady informed the world he was setting sail for Tampa Bay.

Rob Gronkowski soon followed.

So did Julian Edelman.

And Zdeno Chara.

With time, Xander Bogaerts, Patrice Bergeron, David Krejci, Devin McCourty and Dont’a Hightower joined the departed.

Dozens of championships exited with the passage of time and tightening of wallets.

A herd of GOATs and other prize-winning livestock being driven across the plains to Montana by the Dutton family.

The sheep?

They were left behind in Boston.

In the wake of the Betts trade, social justice took the place of winning baseball at Fenway Park.

All under the steady hand of Ron Roenicke.

After Betts was dealt, the Red Sox had more Black Lives Matter banners than Black ballplayers.

Yet fans were the ones who needed to be enlightened, er, brainwashed.

The Red Sox and their dutiful disciples in John Henry’s newspaper, on John Henry’s TV station, the radio station that airs John Henry games, and across multiple websites who want to curry favor with John Henry’s baseball team, tell us Betts deal was a good baseball trade.

Not just a salary dump.

The Los Angeles Blue Sox offer comfort in their familiarity.

In addition to Betts, Dave Roberts is the manager. J.D. Martinez is DH. Kike “Butterfingers” Hernandez could be anywhere from first, to short, or left field, or on the bench.

Ryan Brasier is a regular out of the bullpen. Joe Kelly is nursing a forearm injury.

Baseball purists tell us Betts’ 2020 World Series ring with Los Angeles doesn’t count because there were only 60 games in the regular season. That also conveniently absolves the Red Sox of their worst winning percentage since 1965.

Starting in 2021, Betts has averaged 39 home runs and 96 RBIs over 162 games. His overall OPS is .903 and he’s hit 92 homers and driven in 226 runs during that span.

He and the rest of the Blue Sox have fizzled spectacularly in the postseason.

In 2021-22, LA won 217 games but never reached the World Series. Last year was particularly painful for the occupants of Chavez Ravine. LA rolled to the NL West title with 111 victories, beating San Diego by 22 games. That meant nothing. The Padres upended the Blue Sox 3-1 in the NLDS.

Baby Bloomers reflectively cite the Blue Sox playoff flops since winning the World Series as further evidence of the hidden brilliance displayed by the Red Sox GM in his first big move after taking over for Dave Dombrowski.

In return for dumping the market value salary of Betts (and Price), the Red Sox received Alex Verdugo, Connor Wong and Jeter Downs.

Downs was last spotted in Washington playing for the Nationals.

Verdugo and Wong have settled into starting roles.

Of the three, Wong could prove to be the best acquisition in the long run. Verdugo offers the presence of someone who may have already peaked as a ballplayer. See “Andrew Benintendi.”

Betts has swatted 34 home runs thus far in 2023. He’s backed them up with 86 RBI, 101 runs and a .989 OPS. Verdugo, meanwhile, supplied just 39 home runs since joining the Red Sox in 2020.

The Red Sox were never going to get anything close to reasonable value for Betts.

Three potentially average players never equal a great one.

Betts’ departure ushered in the post “Score of Success” © Red Sox.

Bloom brought the Tampa Bay Way to Boston and turned it into Pittsfield.

Bloom’s former boss in St. Petersburg, Andrew Friedman, has been running the Dodgers/Blue Sox since 2015. Money isn’t real La La Land.

Look no further West than the Bronx or Queens as proof that burning mountains of cash on free agents doesn’t guarantee success in the standings.

Yet, the Red Sox committed a far more grievous sin with Betts. They low-balled a player who came up through their system and had the potential to be a Red Sox Hall of Famer, if not the Cooperstown type, by the time his career was complete.

The Red Sox drafted Betts in 2011 when he was still in high school. Betts, a Nashville native, never embraced Boston like an Ortiz. He told me in 2016 he wasn’t sure he would end up staying in Boston for his whole career.

The Red Sox botched this relationship going back to 2018 when they took Betts to arbitration. Betts won, but it left a mark.

No matter what you may have read elsewhere.

The Red Sox failed to secure Betts before the 2019 season. At the time, $300 million wasn’t enough.

“I just wanted to get my value,” Betts told WEEI last year. “The numbers didn’t align.”

Thus, Betts was gone one way or another in 2020. The same pattern followed with Bogaerts. Betts’ 12-year, $365 million deal with LA may have looked kooky before in 2021. But its average annual value (AAV) of $30.41 million is becoming more and more of a bargain. It is below the 2023 salaries of Miguel Cabrera, Stephen Strasburg and Giancarlo Stanton.

Given his Red Sox success, Betts has earned the best possible pre-game hype video that Dr. Charles can offer. And an ovation only reserved for Taylor Swift

Every time he comes to the plate.

Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

That was the Building 19 motto.

The discount retailer’s TV ads filled local airwaves for decades.

Owner Jerry Ellis became infamous for his cheap stuff and tacky commercials.

Building 19 is no longer with us, but the Patriots continue to scour the bargain bin for their skill positions.

Drafting N’Keal Harry in the first round can wreck anyone’s long-term budget.

The Patriots found Zeke Elliott in the Salvation Army kettle.

Elliott, 28, began his end-zone-kettle celebrations back in 2016 as a rookie with the Cowboys. He has since used his post-TD revelry (fines and all) to raise money for the noteworthy charity.

Things are dismal in Bill Belichick’s backfield this summer. To get Elliott, the Patriots tossed $1.55 million in base salary, up to $850,000 in roster bonuses, and a $600,000 signing bonus, into the metaphorical red kettle.

Depending on how much cereal Zeke eats, he could earn up to $3 million more in incentives.

All of that adds up to about 6 million in Patriots Dollars.

Speaking of “Good Stuff Cheap,” wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins also visited Foxboro.

He marked himself down about 75%.

Much like a suit jacket originally for sale at Nordstrom but now hanging inside T.J. Maxx.

Yet, Hopkins wasn’t cheap enough.

Letting Hopkins leave One Patriot Place without a contract could be the biggest front office blunder in the post-Brady era.

Hopkins signed with Tennessee.

Elliott joined the Patriots Wednesday at their joint practice with the Packers in Green Bay.

Reaction to the Patriots acquiring Elliott spread from dread to euphoria.

Think of your favorite TV weatherperson’s pre-blizzard forecast.

“Three feet of snow expected in the mountains!”

“High tides to flood the South Shore!”

“Ice! Winds! Power Outages!”

“Schools Closed!

Then you end up with 2.5 inches of snow and a breeze.

At least it’s gluten free.

This O-line is so porous and brittle that the Patriots may have to measure offensive output in feet instead of yards.

Bill O’Brien’s sorcery can’t pick up a blitz. Or clear a hole on the left side. Or give Mac Jones more than 1.8 seconds to unload the ball.

The players have to do that.

Speaking of discounted skill players, WR/QB Malik Cunningham all but clinched a roster spot after his performance last week against Houston. Cunningham was not drafted coming out of Louisville. The Patriots guaranteed him $200,000 plus a $30,000 signing bonus. The Herald’s Doug Kyed says that figure is the most ever the Patriots have guaranteed an undrafted free agent.

Who knew Goodwill had a Platinum Card?

Cunningham’s 14-play, 75-yard drive against the Texans resulted in the team’s only touchdown thus far in the preseason.

For a fleeting moment on social media, Malik Fever replaced the Second Wildcard as the local pandemic of choice.

The Patriots gained just 89 yards on offense without Cunningham at quarterback.

Mac Jones sat safely on the sideline. Rooting wildly each time Bailey Zappe got smothered. Or so we’ve been led to believe.

In defense of taking the Patriots over 7.5 wins this season, New England’s 2023-24 projected starting line has yet to manifest.

Patriots State Run Media says things will be OK once the “replacements” get healthy.

Sound familiar?

Trent Brown, Michael Onwenu, Cole Strange, and Calvin Anderson are the Foxboro versions of Trevor Story, Chris Sale, Garrett Whitlock, and Tanner Houck.

Still, the Patriots are going to need at least three quarterbacks as insurance.

Jones might not make it to Halloween.

And Zappe is one play from being “Zappe-d.

Belichick blew a gasket in Green Bay on Wednesday after his offense got mauled in an 11-on-11 drill against the Packers. Overall, Jones was “sacked” 5 times and Zappe 8 times, according to the Herald’s Andrew Callahan’s on-site reporting. Two potential interceptions off the arm of Jones were dropped.

Elliott did not participate in these drills.

This setting provides the backstory for Elliott’s arrival in New England.

There’s even some added intrigue.

The Patriots visit Jerry World in Week 4 to face the Cowboys. The game will be a nationally televised affair.

The rivalry between billionaires and team owners Robert Kraft and Jerry Jones is well documented. The Patriots were 5-0 against the Cowboys with Tom Brady in the saddle.

Jones paid Elliott more than $70 million during the running back’s seven seasons in Dallas. Beating the Cowboys with Elliott playing any sort of a meaningful role could be worth whatever Elliott’s final cost may be.

No one over the age of Pink Hat is naïve enough to believe Elliott is going to be a pivotal player in changing the fate of this team.

But he won’t cough up the ball on the Bengals 7-yard line. With 55 seconds left to play in the fourth quarter. When the Patriots are trailing by 4 points.

Elliott rarely fumbles. A total of 22 times in 1,881 career rushing attempts. His team has kept the ball 50% of the time.

Having a reliable pair of hands on the ball and sturdy legs inside the 5, or on 3rd-and-2 when the entire world is expecting the run, makes Elliott a plus.

Never mind those snaps he will take to lessen the burden on Rhamondre Stevenson.

All good stuff.

Quite cheap.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com)

The words “Yankees Suck” have never conveyed as much truth as they do in August of 2023.

The Yankees being flat-out atrocious was always salve for fans in Boston, especially when the Red Sox floundered.

Lately, the Yankees have become even less relevant than the Red Sox.

They can’t even make losing interesting. The Mets own that department.

The continued employment of Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman may be the best job insurance for Alex Cora and Chaim Bloom.

While Boone doesn’t want to be fired, Cora would probably welcome it.

George Steinbrenner would have dumped both Cashman and Boone at least a half-dozen times in the past five years.

His son, Hal, appears almost as detached as John Henry.

Almost.

We miss the days of “Moneyball” John Henry.

That John Henry was passionate about the Red Sox. He offered Brad Pitt $12.5 million to run his team.

In 2011 John Henry was still spoiling for a fight. A somewhat perturbed Henry showed up unannounced and uninvited at the old studios of 98.5 The Sports Hub in Brighton one October afternoon. He joined the “Felger and Mazz” show. The unscripted 90 minutes that followed remain a top-five moment in the history of Boston media.

Even though Larry Lucchino no longer runs the Red Sox, Henry’s words from that day remain a historic relic.

On par with Copley’s painting of Paul Revere, Old Ironsides, and the phone used by John Connolly to tip off Whitey Bulger.

But 12 years later, we still have no idea who runs this team.

The 2023 Red Sox are baseball’s Bermuda Triangle.

You might not make it out alive. But you’re guaranteed a wild ride.

Now, it’s Henry who has disappeared. A purported image of Henry in Greece appeared on this third wife’s Instagram feed last month. With AI, you never can tell. Henry has not spoken on the record about the Red Sox since February.

Red Sox President and CEO President Sam Kennedy has much on his plate, given his role as a part owner of Fenway Sports Group.

And this Kennedy believes in vaccines, just not in paying the Competitive Balance Tax.

GM Bloom, meanwhile, has his own unlicensed daily fantasy sports operation.

But neither Kennedy nor Bloom is the boss, or The Boss.

As long as Henry’s name rests on the top of the team masthead, he bears the ultimate burden for the malfunction that is 2023.

In much the same way he was the first representative of the team to get the World Series/Commissioner’s Trophy in 2004, 2007, 2013 and 2018.

The Red Sox got swept by the Blue Jays this past weekend, losing the finale 13-1. A series pegged by everyone as the one that would put this team in the throes of the Wild Card chase ended in ruins. Feckless starting pitching and inept defense led to this two-touchdown loss.

The season as we know it bottomed out – for now – with Pablo Reyes coming in to pitch the 9th.

That loss left the local nine in familiar digs – the AL East basement. Which is probably flooded by now.

A day after throwing a scoreless ninth, Reyes made baseball history Monday night by being the first player in MLB history to ever get three hits, score three runs, collect an extra-base hit, steal a base, and hit a walk-off grand slam in the same game.

Watch out, Shohei Otani.

Reyes’ grand slam made quite a splash.

But this Bermuda Triangle version of the Red Sox remain adrift in choppy seas.

You want to feel queasy?

Raffy Devers and Tristan Casas anchor an infield that has used seven starting second baseman and six starting shortstops.

The Red Sox player with the most starts at second this season: Christian Arroyo.

He was DFA’d the other day and is now a member of the WooSox.

Who has most starts at shortstop this season for the Red Sox?

Kike “Butterfingers” Hernandez. He’s now playing for manager Dave Roberts. Alongside Mookie Betts, J.D. Martinez. And the rest of the Los Angeles Blue Sox.

In an only-the-Red-Sox-or-Mets moment, Tuesday was originally scheduled to be Kike Hernandez World Baseball Classic bobblehead night. They’re $34.95 on eBay.

The Red Sox remain plagued by a comedy of errors. They are last in fielding percentage and tops in fielding gaffes across the American League.

While the Red Sox struggle to master the basics of baseball, run hot and cold at the plate, and lack a starting pitcher who can finish the 7th inning, some argue there is hope.

Trevor Story returned Tuesday. Chris Sale could pitch on Friday. Garrett Whitlock and Tanner Houck aren’t far behind.

Bloom told us these replacements will be enough for his “underdogs” to make a run at the playoffs.

If not a playoff run.

The Red Sox were 13-5 in July. They’re capable of winning enough games to reach Wild Card territory.

But Boston needs to get past two other teams before earning the right to play in the best-of-three Wild Card Round. If the Red Sox somehow clear that hurdle, a best-of-five ALDS awaits. Get through that crucible? The best-of-seven American League Championship Series awaits.

All that just to play in the World Series – against the likes of either Xander Bogaerts, Kyle Schwarber, or Betts.

“Keep The Faith.”

OK.

After all, the Patriots don’t play for another month.

Just, make sure you have a life jacket.

That water runs deep.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

Red Sox Nation turns its lonely eyes to you, Ben Cherington.

Theo Epstein has up and gone away.

Hey, hey, hey.

The rose is long off the Bloom.

Red Sox fans were left holding a fistful of thorns after the trade deadline passed Tuesday evening.

Chief baseball officer Chaim Bloom didn’t make a splash. He didn’t stir the pot. He barely caused a ripple.

The Red Sox acquired Luis Urias from the Milwaukee Brewers organization and sent him to Worcester.

Cue the Duck Boats.

For the next group of tourists.

Even before the 6 p.m. trade deadline, the Red Sox had become an obligatory inconvenience. They were not the story of the day. Top billing continued to be focused on the doings at Gillette Stadium.

Some of us even celebrated the first anniversary of sports betting being passed by the state legislature.

Over 76.5 wins is all we ask of this team.

The post-mortem spin hit 35,0000 RPM on NESN. No less than a minute after the deadline passed with no action, the name “Trevor Story” was dutifully dropped.

The same sold Story, indeed.

A video from 2004 showed up in my Twitter feed the other day. It was a clip of the NESN Red Sox broadcast from July 31 that reported the news and analysis of Nomar Garciaparra’s trade.

A vibrant Don Orsillo and tastefully attired and animated Jerry Remy delivered unflinching commentary about the deal that blew up the Red Sox. We are told in the clip that the Red Sox, who were 56-45 at the time, had to do something to shake up the roster.

Fast forward to 2023.

The Red Sox were 56-50 before Tuesday’s game.

Yep, the same number of wins they had when they traded Nomar.

This time they are in a world with three American League wildcard teams.

In the 2004 clip, Remy says the Red Sox improved their defense, “which has been terrible through the first part of this season.”

That sort of analysis was once common on the State-Owned Television Station.

Don and Jerry interviewed Epstein during the broadcast. Theo had yet to deliver the Red Sox from the Evil Empire, end the ugliest curse in sports history in Chicago, or save baseball by pushing for the pitch clock.

The boyish GM looked as if had just walked home from Brookline High School with his BFF Sam Kennedy. A white T-shirt was visible beneath a button-down grey dress shirt.

Theo talked about how the Red Sox addressed their biggest flaw – defense – and doing that could give them a chance to win the World Series.

All three prophetically talked about Dave Roberts running. And how the defense of Doug Mientkiewicz and Orlando Cabrera would shore up the infield.

Theo took “responsibility” for the terrible defense that had the Red Sox 7.5 games behind the Yankees.

The chatter about Roberts’ ability to steal bases was downright visionary.

“That’s another dimension we were missing in the clubhouse in addition to speed was defense. Sometimes the two go hand-in-hand,” Theo says. “Dave Roberts has stolen 33 bases. He’s only been caught once. Forty-plus in each of the last two years. He gives Tito that added element of speed for pinch-running late in the game.”

Roberts’ swipe in Game 4 against the Yankees was the Red Sox version of the Immaculate Conception.

Mientkiewicz caught the final out of the 2004 World Series.

After a bizarre two-year ordeal, that piece of contested horsehide and twine ended up in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

No one on the 2023 Red Sox will share the burden of what to do with the ball that comes with the final out of the World Series.

It could be caught by Mookie Betts of the Dodgers, or Kyle Schwarber of the Phillies, or Xander Bogaerts of the Padres, or Nathan Eovaldi of the Rangers, or Christian Vázquez of the Twins.

In all-but opting out at the trade deadline, the Red Sox party line immediately focused on the return of Chris Sale, Tanner Houck and Story.

Sometime this season, they will be enough to provide any boost the team could have received by dealing at the deadline.

So say sources paid by John Henry or Tom Werner.

With Bloom still employed as of this writing, it has never been more evident that he is following the lead of ownership, in both paring payroll and avoiding any sort of contract that would add an unnecessary burden to the Fenway Sports Group bank account.

That Bloom has a long leash is undeniable given how tightly he has held onto his much-touted prospects.

If the Red Sox indeed had to win right now, why would they keep so many assets that cannot pay dividends until 2025 and beyond?

“We’ve got to do deals that make sense. We were engaged in a lot of different players,” Bloom said Tuesday evening. “It has to be a good move.”

Bloom stressed the confidence he has in the group currently in Red Sox clubhouse, and the aforementioned “reinforcements.”

He christened his team “underdogs.” Boston was 2.5 games out of the last wildcard before Tuesday’s game.

The “last wildcard” has become the opiate of the baseball masses.

“We didn’t want to make a move there just to make a move,” he said. “When you try to do things that might placate someone. That might make a headline. That aren’t really good baseball moves. You end up getting what you deserve for that.”

No doubt, Henry was smiling.

If he realized what was going on.

Or cared enough to think even about it.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

In the case of Jaylen Brown, we have another suggestion: “Keep talking, but please don’t dribble.”

Brown signed the biggest contract in NBA history the other day. His super-max extension is worth $303,734,893 over five years.

The potential pre-shelter tax liability: $146,623,524.22. Give or take a few greenbacks.

Of that, about $12,087,684.42 will be absorbed courtesy of the state’s new millionaire tax.

This just in, Gov. Maura Healey has adopted Lucky.

With his impending pre-tax wealth, Brown eagerly wants to change Boston’s economic ecosystem, and shrink the wealth gap that exists in the city between Black and white households.

Good for him. It’s his money – and Maura’s.

The first question at his press conference on Wednesday was what we in the journalism business call a “softball.” Or in this case, a 3-1 hanging curveball from the late, great Corey Kluber.

It was the sort of inquiry I would have proffered to Tom and Gisele during the “OBF Hot Tub Happy Hour.”

“What do you plan to do with the generational wealth on and off the court with this new contract?”

Brown’s well-rehearsed answer should catapult him into being the betting favorite to be the next major of Boston.

“I want to launch a project to bring Black Wall Street here to Boston. I want to attack the wealth disparity here. I think there’s analytics that supports that stimulating the wealth gap could actually be something that could be betterment for the entire economy,” he said.

JB 2025!

“With the biggest financial deal in NBA history, it makes sense to talk about: 1) Your investment in community; but 2) also the wealth disparity here (in Boston) that nobody wants to talk about. It’s top five in the U.S., it’s something that we can all improve on. It’s unsettling. And I think through my platform, through influential partners, through selected leaders, government officials a lot who are in this room, that we can come together and create new jobs, new resources, new businesses, new ideas, that could you know, highlight minorities but also stimulate the economy and the wealth gap at the same time,” he said.

He would mention “wealth disparity” and “Black Wall Street” again in this answer.

Applause.

Brown wisely wants to direct as much of his money toward the things he believes in, instead of paying it in taxes. (See: Bill Gates.) For instance, imagine how much $12,087,684.42 could help in building Black Wall Street, as opposed to being sucked into another Beacon Hill rathole.

Brown’s work and life off the court was the desired storyline. The signing ceremony was held on the MIT campus amid his cheering Bridge campers. Brown said he got the call securing the largest contract in NBA history while participating in a robotics workshop.

Much attention has been focused on Brown’s ideals.

Deservedly so.

For him, the money is simply a means to a much greater end. It means “resources to put stuff together. To build things. To change things. To have influence.”

Brown feels pressure – but it’s to build something “inspirational.”

The “Face of Boston Sports” moniker is Brown’s if he wants it.

Merci, Bergy.

There were two words of substance that Brown did not say Wednesday. They were uttered, almost apologetically, by Wyc Grousbeck.

“Banner 18.”

Brown alluded to “winning” but never said the word “championship” during his press conference.

You see, Brown was all business.

Of course, basketball is also his business.

For $303.7 million, it would have been nice for Brown to discuss the Celtics’ desire for a second NBA title since the Reagan Administration.

Especially given the non-stop narrative and agenda pushed by the franchise.

And Brown’s disaster that was Game 7 against Miami:

3PT: 1-for-9

FG: 8-for-23

Plus/Minus: -17

Turnovers: 8

Brown played his first game with the Celtics two days after turning 20. That he’s steadily improved since is not revolutionary. At 26, he’s yet to reach his projected athletic peak. Yet, he backslid during the postseason this spring compared to last.

Brown’s salary will be $52,368,085 when his deal begins in 2024-25.

It will hit $69,125,872 by Year 5 in 2028-29.

Perspective Alert.

In 2007-08, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce earned $34,735,094. That equals $49,223,604.85 in 2023 dollars.

A bargain at any price.

Brown was introduced by – among others – Olympian and social justice advocate John Carlos. Nods to Bill Russell were peppered throughout.

Russell wrecked his opponents mentally and physically.

Russell’s Second Law of Basketball: “You got to have the killer instinct. If you do not have it, forget about basketball, and go into social psychology or something.”

Care to guess what’s been lacking in the Celtics DNA lately?

Eleven rings in 13 years, a 1956 Olympic gold medal, and those back-to-back NCAA championships at the University of San Francisco made Russell impossible to ignore.

Winning on the court gave Russell the platform to leave his greatest impact off it.

Tommie Smith and Carlos raised their gloved Black Power salute from the podium during the 1968 Olympics. It remains a seminal moment in sports history. Smith won gold. Carlos took bronze. Their iconic protest rattled the wide, wide world of sports in a year when pretty much everything else went to hell.

Brown has yet to win a title. Timing allowed him to avoid the obstacles faced by Russell, Smith and Carlos.

Brown went straight past “Go” and collected his dough. He’ll undoubtedly make Boston a better place for it.

Winning a championship or two along the way wouldn’t hurt, either.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

Twinkies.

Tom Brady.

Those three items will be here long after the apocalypse, no matter what Robert Oppenheimer throws at us.

It took about three sentences to reach Brady on the DeAndre Hopkins storyline depth chart after the Patriots came up losers in the two-team sweepstakes. The Patriots were outbid, or outclassed, or outhustled, and/or flat out-Patrioted by Tennessee.

Remember the Titans? How can we forget?

Long gone are the days when Bill Belichick would grunt, or Brady would wink, and players would manifest themselves at the Hertz counter at Logan Airport, ready to play for the Patriots at minimum wage. So many came to New England for whatever terms they could get.

Those six Super Bowl rings were bought at an NFL pawn shop and partly financed by Brady’s willingness to adjust his deal to get the next big name.

Most of us realize it’s been 1,627 days since the Patriots won a playoff game, and nearly 28 months since Brady jumped ship to Tampa Bay.

Guess who isn’t counting?

Patriots honks. Bill Belichick. Half of Twitter.

The Patriots tried to cheap-skate their way into Hopkins’ heart. He visited Gillette Stadium and broke metaphorical bread with The Hoodie. Whatever offered wasn’t enough.

“Hopkins only cares about money.”

Honk!

“He would never fit in New England.”

Honk!

“Belichick won six Super Bowls here. What do you want?”

Honk!

The honks told us nothing would change in New England when Brady left to win another Super Bowl in Florida.

Among the other myths: Cam Newton couldn’t miss. Mac Jones was a steal after his rookie season, only to be re-cast as Robert Kraft’s guy after that sophomore slump. Belichick’s sheer genius would deliver a playoff berth with Joe Judge and Matt Patricia running the offense.

Now Hopkins is the bad guy because he “only cares about money.” As if Kraft, Belichick, and the Patriots somehow “don’t care about money.” That notion would be hysterical if it didn’t mask a near-clinical delusion.

Even worse, the money argument barely registers here once you look into the Hopkins deal.

On the surface, Hopkins has a two-year deal worth up to $32 million with incentives.

The Patriots signed Nelson Agholor to a two-year, $22 million deal in 2021 to make 68 catches. Adjusted for inflation, that’s $24.74 million. If you factor in the state millionaire’s tax, that pushes the real-dollar cost of Agholor’s deal to roughly $26.8 million in 2023.

Hopkins offered another case of the Patriots not wanting to pay the market rate for top-tier (31-year-old) talent.

Remember, this is the same coach/GM that traded Rob Gronkowski. Twice.

Kraft didn’t become a multi-billionaire by not caring about money. Belichick makes at least $20 million a year. That ranks as the highest-paid NFL coach ever.

Has Belichick taken a pay cut lately? He should.

The current Patriots’ postseason winless streak is their longest such drought in more than 26 years and the deepest during the Kraft regime.

The last stint in which New England went more than 1,627 days without winning a postseason game covered nearly 11 years that lapsed between AFC Championship Game victory at the Orange Bowl (‘Squish The Fish”) on Jan. 12, 1986, and a playoff win over the Steelers on Jan. 5, 1997.

Thanks, coach Parcells.

We can’t say that “Tom Brady won’t be walking through that door” in Foxboro any time soon because he will be walking through many doors on Sept. 10.

The Patriots will illuminate their nifty new lighthouse and ignite that monstrous video board to celebrate the GOAT’s first of many returns to Gillette Stadium.

Except Brady isn’t playing. Or is he? Given how nonchalant Belichick and the Patriots have been this offseason, who knows?

With or without Brady, we still like the Patriots +4.5 over the Eagles in Week 1.

Belichick will game-plan for this contest as if it was Super Bowl 21, 25, 36, 38, 39, 49, 51 and 53 – combined. Belichick can’t allow himself and his team to be outplayed and outcoached in all three phases while Brady looks on from the Kraft Family box with Robert, the new Mrs. Kraft, Jonathan Kraft, and Jon Bon Jovi.

Then what?

Week 2 against the Dolphins has “hangover” written all over it.

This brings us to the biggest irony of all.

The fate of Belichick in New England now lies in 9 ¼-inch hands of Mac Jones.

Destiny can be so cruel and delicious at the same time.

Call it: “Mac To The Future.”

The Patriots offense is going to need all the gigawatts it can get.

Gone is the DeAndre DeLorean. This roster is more Subaru Outback.

Not landing Hopkins gives Team Kraft another count upon which to indict Belichick if the need arises. Kraft took great pains to let it be known that money was not going to be an object when it came to building a competitive team in the suddenly-tough-as-steel AFC East.

And Bill is still buying the groceries.

The Patriots could well surprise on the upside. Jones can’t get any worse given his Kellerman Cliff dive last season. Basic math demands improvement with Bill O’Brien replacing Judge, Patricia, Howard, Fine and Howard at the head of the offense.

Jones passed all the tests during minicamp. The only QB controversy in Foxboro heading into Week 1 will concern Brady’s Week 1 seat in Kraft’s luxury box.

Belichick has now let it be known that the Patriots’ receiving corps is satisfactory.

Perhaps this year’s offense can boost New England’s 21.4 points-per-game average. And take some pressure off the defense.

Thankfully, my job isn’t on the line if it can’t.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

Las Vegas continues to evolve. New and colorful ways to take your money are everywhere.
Lights and mayhem mask the losses while aggravating your hangover. The decibel never drops
below “What Did You Just Say?” They need to mask the sound of all that digital cash being
vacuumed up by casinos, hotels, sports books, and other forms of entertainment.

The lights are darkest at the dawn. Morning is the ugliest time of the day here. Those who work
behind the scenes are either coming home from or heading into another day of work at the
tables, in the kitchen, at the desk, behind the counter, or cleaning up the mess left from the
night before.

Sunshine remains the ultimate disinfectant. It cannot, sadly, do much about the smell on
Fremont Street.

The Circa is among the newest and swankiest joints in town. Its décor offers an homage to the
past. Sadly, the biggest sin in Sin City these days is the “dress code.” The attire throughout its
casinos and clubs has slipped from a “night out on the town dressed like Frank and Dino” to
“Honey, I gotta run to Wal-Mart for some toilet paper.”

The most unique feature at Circa is something called Stadium Swim. At its core, it’s a multi-
level, multi-pod swimming pool with a few hundred longue chairs, scores of cabanas, and all
the chemicals and filtration necessary to wipe out whatever dangerous microbes one may find
in a sportsbook’s swimming pool.

All those poolside face a monstrous video board akin to what you see above centerfield at
Fenway Park. The board shows whatever is going on in the world of sport, plus the latest
relevant odds available at the hotel’s sportsbook.

Stadium Swim played host to an All-Star Game watch party Tuesday night. The Red Sox weren’t
going to make much of a splash in the Mid-Summer Classic given that the team had just one
representative – pitcher Kenley Jansen.

The Red Sox have been relegated to “every team gets one spot, who can we squeeze in” status.

Such is the plight of the 2023 Red Sox.

About two weeks ago, the Red Sox were on track to crap out for this season. The hate flowed
with ease. Not only was the venom spat toward ownership, but the negativity also found its
way toward the roster. The hitters could not hit. The fielders could not field. The pitchers …
were Corey Klubering.

Sticking to our Vegas storyline, the Red Sox hit on 16.

They had no choice.

The dealer showed a king.

Surprisingly, the Red Sox drew a deuce.

Still in it.

A sweep of the Blue Jays. Two out of three over Texas (a very good team). A sweep of the soon-
to-be-Las Vegas A’s.

Boston is clearly the best last-place team in baseball right now, if not ever. (Wink, wink.)

The Red Sox are 48-43. That’s good enough for last in the AL East, first in the AL Central, and
third in the AL West. Even better, or bettor, the Red Sox are on pace to crush their pre-season
win total. I got them at over 76 wins at WynnBET on Jan. 31 when retail betting began in
the Bay State.

Boston is nine games back of the suddenly very-mortal Tampa Bay Rays.

Boston is “just” two games out of the final wild card spot. John Henry’s TV station reminds you
of that fact at every opportunity. Two of the teams ahead of Boston in the playoff race are the Yankees and Blue Jays. They are a combined 1-12 against the Red Sox this season.

The Red Sox are standing on 18 right now. That’s as close to purgatory as you can get without
dropping dead.

Act II of the season begins at Wrigley Field on Friday. The “buy or sell at the deadline” debate
continues to burn up the local airwaves, social media, and actual human conversation.

The Red Sox have made watching baseball fun again. State Run Media is much more palatable
when the team can execute the most routine of plays or get hits with runners in scoring
position. Fenway Park rocked last week. The fans were into it and the players responded in
kind.

Contempt toward the ownership group and its tentacles elsewhere in sports and media has
metastasized in the soul of the fan base. The GM has carried a target on his back all season.

But “fan” affection has grown toward this team, especially concerning its young and dynamic
pitching core. Jarren Duran offers the rare combination of athleticism and baseball talent. Justin Turner, Masataka Yoshida and Alex Verdugo have found a groove. Raffy Devers is Raffy Devers again.

This recent surge could be a mirage. Or not. Give it two weeks.

Talk of dealing for Shohei Ohtani remains the stuff of fantasy, much like those $1 million
jackpots offered by progressive slot machines.

The Red Sox will – in all likelihood – work around the edges at the trade deadline, especially
if they keep winning.

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in,” Michael Corleone exclaimed in the
otherwise forgettable “Godfather III.”

Well, the Red Sox have pulled us back in.

Will they hit on 18? Or temp fate?

Stick around.

Thankfully, the Patriots start training camp in two weeks.

Bill Speros (@BillSperos & @RealOBF) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com. When he is not at Stadium Swim, he is Senior Betting Analyst at bookies.com).

Las Vegas didn’t exist.

Mentioning point spreads was poisonous to your career.

When “The NFL Today” was at its zenith, Brent Musberger and Jimmy The Greek discussed what the Greek’s “friends in the desert” thought about the Cowboys game. And the Greek was always quick with a weather update from Green Bay adding his thoughts on what would be a “low-scoring” affair in the snow.

Fast forward to 2024. Super Bowl 58 will be played in Las Vegas on Feb. 11.

Five years after the Supreme Court allowed legal sports betting, it has proliferated. In the U.S., 34 states have active live and legal wagering. Four others, including Maine and Vermont, have legalized betting but have yet to launch.

All six New England states allow sports betting. It makes sense that a member of the New England Patriots would be somewhat confused and frustrated over the NFL’s until-now convoluted policy toward its players and betting.

The other day, Jonathan Jones offered the following dilemma on Twitter.

“I understand rules are rules, But I can risk my life so that my team wins but I can’t risk 1k on my team winning”

He added a shrugging emoji.

Jones was voicing his dismay over the suspensions given to NFL players for betting on the NFL or placing non-NFL bets at team facilities.

Seven players have now been sacked by Roger Goodell for at least one year after being found to have bet on the NFL since 2021.

Three other players got six-game suspensions after being found to have wagered while at work.

Only one, Calvin Ridley, was a household name outside his own household.

None, surprising, have been quarterbacks or marquee-level stars.

This would not be the first time the NFL has engaged in selective enforcement of the rules.

Jones’ tweet was only 117 characters, including the shrugging emoji. But he gave us a lot to unpack.

Shameless plug/disclosure alert, I work as a Senior Betting Analyst for bookies.com, which is part of the Gambling.Com Group. The job is as cool as it sounds. When my best friend and I spent our teen years chasing the dream at Wonderland and Raynham Park, I would have never thought 40 years later it would lead to a full-time job covering sports betting.

America. What a country!

Two weeks ago, the NFL issued second-grade level clarification of its gambling rules. The players suspended this year and last all placed bets prior to 2023.

Here are the NFL betting rules as simplified as my Arlington Public Schools and Marquette University education can make them:

1.         Don’t bet on the NFL

2.         Don’t bet at work or while you’re working

3.         Don’t have someone bet for you

4.         Don’t share ‘inside information’

5.         Don’t enter a sportsbook during the NFL season

6.         Don’t play fantasy football

NFL players have always been prohibited from betting on the NFL. That needs no further explanation. The NFL has now clarified this to mean your own game, other games, point totals, player props and futures bets. And every NFL event, from the combine (Who bets on the combine?) through the Super Bowl, NFL Honors, and the Pro Bowl (Who bets on the Pro Bowl?).

Rule No. 2 should now be clear to the dimmest of wit. Don’t place a bet while you are on team property or traveling on team business. That includes while on buses, planes, trains and at hotels.

In summary: “don’t bet on anything while at work.”

Does this make sense when some stadiums have sportsbooks on site? No.

But the NFL is a government-protected bureaucracy run by lawyers.

Common sense does not factor into the decision-making process.

Does this make the NFL hypocritical?

What doesn’t make the NFL hypocritical?

Back to Jones. “I understand rules are rules,” he wrote.

In the current CBA, the NFL Players Association again allowed the Commissioner to have final say in all league matters.

Judge Berman be damned.

Think Article 46 during Deflategate under the previous CBA.

Jones’ union needs to do better when it comes negotiating and promulgating said rules.

As to the rest of his tweet: “But I can risk my life so that my team wins but I can’t risk 1k on my team winning”

Jones should reconsider his line of work. There are many professions in which participants risk their lives. Football players are paid an immense amount of money for doing so. They make far more than pilots, police officers or firefighters.

Bless them for it. They are free to play. Free to get paid. And free to quit.

Given the risk that Jones takes in playing, why would he want to compound that risk by betting his hard-earned money on NFL games? Hasn’t he already risked enough?

Frank Lopez warned Tony Montana not to get high on his own supply.

That same warning applies.

Patriots’ fans are conditioned to laugh at the phrase “integrity of the game” since it was used to punish Tom Brady for following the Ideal Gas Law.

But the “integrity of the game” does matter here. If the public believes the product is tainted, there is no product. Not even the NFL can survive that.

And NFL players already reap the financial rewards from the league’s embrace of legal sports betting in every paycheck. All gambling-related revenues are used in calculating the salary cap under the CBA adopted in 2020. That includes sponsorship and licensing fees.

Players receive at least 48% of all league revenues (blame the NFLPA if you think it should be more), including those from betting-related activities.

That’s as close to a sure thing as you’re ever going to get.

Especially when risking your life.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF & @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

Tick. Tick. Bust.

100 days from today, they’ll be swinging wooden bats in the playoffs or 3-woods from the first tee.

Perhaps a few players can be part of the new Fenway Sports Group team in Tiger and Rory’s indoor quasi-virtual TGL golf venture. A press release/news story announcing the deal first appeared in the Pizzuti-Henry Post on Monday.

John Henry and Tom Werner heralded “Boston’s” entry in the new golf entity. It plays on 15 consecutive Monday nights after the Super Bowl, will utilize a venue in West Palm Beach, Fla., and is linked with the PGA Tour.

Werner appeared on CNBC to hype TGL.

The league will feature “the best golfers in the world,” Werner said.

That means LIV and let live.

No word if John and Tom will be hanging with the Saudi Crown Prince and Jay Monahan in the virtual owner’s box. Thank goodness they won’t have to worry about getting through airport security with that crowd. We wouldn’t want to profile anyone. Especially the folks who brought us 9-11.

“We are excited for this new journey as one of the six inaugural TGL teams in honor of a city whose love and passion for sports is unparalleled. Through this new, tech-focused version of the game, New England sports fans will soon have a team of world-class PGA TOUR players to cheer for and redefine for this community what it means to play the game in the modern era. We owe tremendous thanks to Tiger, Rory, and Mike for creating this innovative new league and allowing us to be present at its creation. We are excited to reveal more details later this summer and fall when we’ll unveil an official name and team members who will represent this great city and region.” Henry and Werner said in a news release.

That’s 122 words, according to Microsoft Word and Mrs. Fitzgerald. She was my second-grade teacher at Brackett School in Arlington and taught our class to count into the triple digits.

That’s also 122 more words than Henry has spoken on the record about the Red Sox since February. Silence is compliance.

Meanwhile, reports from across the Pond have Henry’s Reds of Liverpool flirting with soccer great Kylian Mbappe for a cost of $329 million.

The Red Sox? They have Pickleball at Fenway next month.

What about signing Ohtani this winter? Sho-hei me the money and I’ll believe it.

As the 2023 baseball season reaches halftime tomorrow against the Marlins, the Red Sox continue to flounder. Boston has been swimming upstream since the team sailed north from Fort Myers.

Boston will either be .500 or close to it after 81 games. That’s the line between a literal or metaphorical definition of “mediocrity.”

The Red Sox are mathematically certain to begin the second half of this season in last place in the American League East.

Thank you again, Mrs. Fitzgerald.

The SS Bloom has been ripped apart by the ferocious currents in the AL East. If only the Red Sox could sink into the American League Central. Never mind the fact that they dropped four out of five to Minnesota and Chicago in the past week.

Anything to make us care beyond the over 77 wins and the +205 we got on the season series with the Yankees.

Boston’s inconsistencies and lack of baseball acumen have become agonizing to witness.

Chaim Bloom’s seat is hotter than Taylor Swift tickets.

Or at least should be.

The last time the Red Sox fired their general manager it came after a Sunday night loss to the Yankees on Sept. 8, 2019. Dave Dombrowski didn’t even make it to October given how far he and ownership had fallen out of sync.

Bloom doesn’t have that problem. He is executing the plan. He’s just not that good at it. His signings and deals are a cauldron of hit-and-miss propositions. For every Justin Turner, there’s Corey Kluber.

What about Brayan “Baby Pedro” Bello? Well, he was signed by Dombrowski in 2017.

Belichickian genius.

And someone is going to have to answer for Xander Bogaerts, in much the same way Carlo had to answer for the hit on Sonny.

The loss of Bogaerts has been catastrophic, if not generational. Sure, Trevor Story has been hurt. But the best ability is availability. Boston has used five players at second base and six players at shortstop in its first 79 games. Bogaerts started 60 of the Padres’ first 69 games at short.

The Red Sox defense is an embarrassment to tee-ballers. Boston committed the most errors (51) and owned the lowest fielding percentage (.981) in the American League through 79 games.

Henry isn’t going to fire himself. And as he famously told us last winter, “it’s expensive to have baseball players.”

When the rose finally comes off the Bloom, don’t expect a shift in the prevailing Jersey Street financial mentality. The Red Sox are 13th in MLB payroll this year, between the Cubs and White Sox. Second-city all the way around. That’s not going to change on the upside anytime soon.

Mbappe isn’t cheap. And who’s going to pay Rickie Fowler to lead off for the Boston Stickmen?

Money cannot buy love or happiness in baseball. Just ask the Mets. But as we’ve noted countless times in this space and elsewhere since the 2018 World Series, the Red Sox have become just another line on the Fenway Sports Group annual budget.

The Red Sox fall somewhere between Liverpool and the Pittsburgh Penguins, or Tiger and Rory’s newest golf entanglement, on the FSG Christmas card list.

The Red Sox owner doesn’t put baseball first.

Why should we?

The good news is that the Red Sox won’t have to wait until January to start playing golf. There will be plenty of tee times available on Oct. 2.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

Or the bullets.

It was the Tweets.

Jack Jones?

Victim.

The legal system?

Rigged.

Criticism of Jones’ alleged actions concerning those unregistered, loaded handguns that showed up at Logan Airport security Friday night in a bag with Jones’ name on it?

Racist.

Those who express criticism of his alleged actions?

Bigots.

That is the summation of the public defense offered by Jones’ attorney Rosemary Scapicchio Tuesday. “He had no intention of bringing any guns into Logan Airport that day,” she added of her client.

Scapicchio’s defense of Sean Ellis, whose 1995 first-degree murder conviction was overturned after spending 22 years in prison, was featured in the Netflix “Trial 4” docuseries.

She attended Suffolk Law School at the same time as Mrs. OBF.

She’s good.

Jones pleaded not guilty to several firearms-related charges Tuesday and remains free on $30,000 bail. Jones will be back in court on Aug. 18.

If only Jones was a member of the Biden family.

For now, the real crime here is what was said about Scapicchio’s client.

“It’s the social media, and the media, who have turned him into a thug, who  have labeled him a ‘thug,’ with no evidence whatsoever. This is not a situation where Mr. Jones ever wanted to be a thug or thought of as a thug. But because he’s a young Black man, all of a sudden, he’s a thug,” Scapicchio said.

“That’s what happened here. There’s no evidence of that whatsoever. And it’s disrespectful to Mr. Jones and everyone else. Every other Black man in America who’s young and Black is called a thug because he happens to be Black in this situation. This is the institutional racism that we deal with every day in the court system. There’s no indication in any way that he was disrespectful (or) did anything to say that he wanted to be a gang member or a thug. He’s a young Black man charged with a crime,” Scapicchio continued.

“Therefore, he must want to be a gang member. He must want to be a thug. That label that was attached to him through social media almost got him fired. And it was completely unfounded.”

That’s nine mentions of Jones being a “thug” by his attorney in just 54.2 seconds.

Move over Jim Crow. Here comes Pat Patriot.

Unfortunately, Rosemary’s baby here isn’t backed by the evidence.

A Google search turned up no mention of “Jack Jones” and “thug” before today. An examination of Twitter found four Tweets referring to Jones as a “thug” on the social platform in the 85 hours between reports of Jones’ arrest and noon Tuesday.

The posters had 87, 217, 299 and 6,194 followers. None were verified nor linked to other platforms. The Tweets earned a total of 958 impressions as of 1:30 p.m. Tuesday.

This was more than an hour after Scapicchio’s Tony-award worthy effort outside East Boston Municipal Court.

There’s nowhere on planet Earth outside Massachusetts and Manhattan where an attorney could credibly make this case and hope it will work. But Scapicchio knows her audience.

The introduction of the race card leaves the Patriots and Robert Kraft in a bind.

Scapicchio thanked the Patriots for making sure Jones stayed “almost” fired.

She also made it clear that firing Jones would make the Patriots or NFL no better than those four people on Twitter who called her client a thug. And her words and actions made it certain Jones is going to stay in Foxboro for a while.

Or else.

Imagine if the Patriots were to “fire” Jones?

Kraft should be warned.

All those platitudes about Black Lives Mattering, all those knees during the National Anthem, all that criminal justice reform, and all that quality time with Meek Mill won’t mean a thing once Kraft is accused by an actual social media mob of throwing a young, yet-to-be convicted Black man under the bus.

The four Tweets in which Jones was called a thug will be replaced by four million images of Kraft and his old BFF Donald Trump.

“Everyone turned him into this thug and this wannabe gangster with no evidence whatsoever. We’re suggesting you do your research before you start writing like that,” Scapicchio added.

“Research.”

If only, counselor. If only.

Scapicchio threw plenty of haymakers on Tuesday. Her biggest challenge, and that facing her client, may be what’s in the police report.

Or so says defense attorney Mark Bederow.

“The issue is whether Jones ‘knowingly’ possessed the firearms when he had them at the airport,” Bederow told me via email. “Jones’ lawyer is laying the foundation for ‘I didn’t know they were in the bag’ . . . Prosecutors will track the guns, serial numbers and see if they come back to him. They’ll look at his social media.  And they’ll likely move to compel Jones to provide a DNA sample to compare to the guns.”

“It’ll be interesting to see what evidence will support his ‘I didn’t know’ defense. For now, it seems like a stretch, and he appears to be in real trouble and at serious risk for doing time,” Bederow added.

For the Patriots, the timing and details of this case delivered a poignant reminder of their dalliance with mass-murderer Aaron Hernandez.

And the Bad Old Days in general.

The 10th anniversary of Hernandez’s arrest for the murder of Odin Lloyd comes on Monday. Hernandez’s troubled past was not news to anyone in the Patriots organization. Rather it was a badge of honor for the likes of Bill Belichick and Kraft. They truly believe they could transform a real-life murderous thug into an honorable citizen for the price of some hugs and a five-year, $40 million contract extension.

It tragically did not work.

If only Hernandez played the race card.

He may be catching balls from Mac Jones this season.

(Bill Speros (@BillSperos and @RealOBF) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com)

Just don’t bother looking for it on Causeway Street.

Bruins fans chanted “We Want The Cup” throughout the team’s record-breaking-65-win-albeit-useless regular season.

They got what they wanted.

But brace for traffic.

Vegas Golden Knights head coach Bruce Cassidy said he plans to spend his day with hockey’s sacred silver chalice while summering at his family’s house on Cape Cod.

We only use summer as a verb when it applies to those elites in the highest of social strata. Or for those visiting the Hamptons, Martha’s Vineyard, Nantucket or the Berkshires. Or for NHL coaches who won the Stanley Cup 372 days after being banned in Boston.

Cassidy won’t be bringing the Cup to Hutchinson Road in Winchester. Cassidy, his wife Julie, and their two kids lived there before he relocated to Nevada for work reasons last year. As a harbinger of their good fortune, the Cassidy Winchester homestead was sold for $2.75 million on Sept. 23, a nifty $750,000 more than it cost in 2017.

Cha-ching.

Cassidy’s Golden Knights neutered the Florida Panthers in five games to win the 2023 Stanley Cup Final. Cassidy lifted the Cup in front of his players, family and 19,058 of his newfound closest friends Wednesday night inside T-Mobile Arena just off the Las Vegas Strip after a 9-3 rout.

Tuukka Rask missed the extra point.

Vegas has a large strand of Boston in its DNA. Among those seeing their names affixed to the Cup alongside Cassidy: ex-Bruins players Phil Kessel and Reilly Smith. The one-time voice of the Bruins, Dave Goucher, and former Bruins PR honcho Eric Tosi are also in the employ of the Golden Knights.

Winners all.

For Kessel, it’s the third time he’s touched the Cup since being traded by Boston in 2009. His previous two rings were earned with the pre-John Henry Pittsburgh Penguins.

Then there’s Jack Eichel. If you want to see the Stanley Cup but can’t make it to the Cape, keep an eye on North Chelmsford. Its favorite son completed a tortuous NHL journey of his own in wondrous triumph Wednesday. Eichel was selected out of BU by the Buffalo Sabres with the No. 2 overall pick in 2015.

Eichel’s injury-plagued career with the Sabres was devoid of the postseason. He was dealt to Las Vegas in 2021. This was his first full season in Las Vegas and first career playoff run. He scored six goals with 20 assists and was a +14 in 22 games.

Arlington’s Pat Connaughton of the Milwaukee Bucks brought the Larry O’Brien trophy to Fidelity House two years ago. His basketball career began at the same facility where mine ended.

Why can’t we get players like that?

When the Golden Knights were conceived, legend has it that team owner Bill Foley said “playoffs in three. Cup in six.”

Jackpot!

The Golden Knights’ franchise launched for the 2017-18 season. It is the best 6-year-old on skates since little Wayne Gretzky was dazzling 10-year-olds up and down the Brantford, Ontario ice in 1967.

The Bruins? The debate rages whether firing Cassidy or trading Kessel was the team’s worst transaction of the 21st century.

History tells us that the juvenile squires and the elderly Bruins have each won one Stanley Cup since President Nixon’s re-election in 1972.

Now more than ever, the Bruins will cling desperately to the past. The team’s 100th season celebration will commence in earnest on Oct. 12.

Let us eat cake.

Moreso, the Bruins are fast becoming a relic on the ice. The biggest questions this offseason concern the possible return of 37-year-old Patrice Bergeron, 37-year-old David Krejci, and/or whether the team should blow it all up and deal 35-year-old Brad Marchand.

If Cassidy’s players in Boston did not outright demand his dismissal, they certainly placed the idea in the suggestion box outside Cam Neely’s office.

Six days later, the Vegas Golden Knights hired Cassidy to be their head coach.

Who said chivalry was dead?

Cassidy’s first and last best opportunity for a Stanley Cup in Boston came and went in 2019 with a Game 7 loss in TD Garden in the Stanley Cup Final. While “Gloria” echoed throughout St. Louis, Boston’s hockey denizens were left singing the blues.

Cassidy’s 2022 dismissal came after the Bruins were eliminated by the Carolina Hurricanes in the first round after a Game 7 loss.

This season, the Bruins blew a 3-1 series lead and got dumped by the No. 8 seed Panthers in the first round after a Game 7 loss.

Anyone else sensing a trend?

This time, they didn’t have Cassidy to kick around.

Jim Montgomery got overwhelmed by the moment and forgot to rotate his goaltenders against Florida.

The Great Collapse of 2023 fell even harder on the Bruins players after Cassidy rose like a phoenix in Las Vegas during the postseason. Cassidy brought his Tough Love and Defense First coaching style to a team that was not only receptive but wanting.

“We wanted to win the Stanley Cup. He wanted to win the Stanley Cup. He pushed us hard this season. He pushed a lot of buttons to help us get here,” Golden Knights captain Matt Stone said via NHL.com after netting a hat trick in the clincher.

Loud-mouths in Las Vegas tend to end up being buried in the desert.

Not calling the shots on who should be the coach.

“It could be the best thing that ever happened to me in my career,” Cassidy added of leaving the Bruins, also via NHL.com.

If only Boston’s hockey fans had the same option.

Meanwhile, try to catch a glimpse of the Stanley Cup this summer.

It may be a while before you can see it again in the Bay State.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

Phil Mickelson led the charge of PGA Tour players who jumped to Greg Norman’s Saudi-backed LIV Golf. Mickelson, never one to be shy about his opinions, made it clear he made the move because it kept his wallet phat.

With Tuesday’s announced plan to merge the PGA Tour and LIV, Mickelson and the other golfers who took that monstrous bag of dirty Saudi cash hit PowerBall, or PowerPlayBall. They bet it all on which version of golf was going to ultimately prevail. And won.

“Awesome day today,” Mickelson tweeted, with a smiley face emoji.

The Saudi Sovereign Wealth Fund (PIF) created LIV Golf with the goal to force a merger with the PGA Tour. That’s exactly what happened Tuesday. A new golf global entity, which doesn’t even have a name, will supplant all the PGA Tour, the DP World Tour, and any other mens’s golfing body that doesn’t have a couple of billion in reserve to stop this tidal wave.

Norman said this was coming earlier a few months ago. “You can’t have both,” Norman told Golf Magazine. He responded “yes” when asked about a possible peaceful solution to this. Even former President Trump took a victory lap in his golf cart. Trump’s courses played host to several LIV events.

Think AFL/NFL on worldwide financial steroids.

The PIF will pour billions into this new single global golf entity. The PGA Tour itself retains its nonprofit status. But its commercial entities are swallowed up in this deal.

The Saudis have already bought into sports via F1, pro soccer, the WWE, and other outlets.

The head of the Saudi PIF (Yasir Al-Rumayyan) is the new global golf entity’s chairman. PGA Tour Commissioner Jay Monahan will be his caddie. And CEO. The PGA Tour will appoint a majority of the board and hold most of the voting interest. The new world order will embrace golf in all its forms, on and off the course.

All the litigation between the PGA Tour and LIV Golf goes away.

The bad blood between pro golfers does not.

Dustin Johnson, Bryson Dechambeau, Brooks Koepka, and Mickelson were among the notables who jumped to LIV Golf. Some pocketed nine figures to do so.

The golfers who chose to fight for the PGA Tour’s honor only to be sold out without warning by Monahan were left holding an empty bag.

“I love finding out morning news on Twitter,” posted PGA Tour star Collin Morikawa.

Talk about “suckers and losers.”

Rory McIlroy and Tiger Woods dutifully defended the PGA Tour for the principles upon which it allegedly stood. Now they’ll be cashing the same Saudi-backed checks as everyone else.

They held the moral high ground in opposing the Saudis, who helped bring us 9/11 among other atrocities. Of course, that ground was shaky. FedEx, which is the title sponsor of the PGA Tour and pumps roughly $75 million in prize money to the Tour, has its own partnership with the Saudi government.

The PGA Tour finally realized it would not be able to outspend LIV Golf. Once LIV players started to win majors – Koepka at the PGA Championship – the Tour’s flaws in terms of quality were further exposed.

Koepka has been on a roll lately, cheering on his Miami Heat and Florida Panthers in the postseason. Tuesday, he chirped at NBC-Golf Channel analyst Brandel Chamblee, among the most-vocal LIV critics.

“Welfare check on Chamblee,” Koepka tweeted.

The PGA Tour, like every other pro sports entity, has long championed whatever the prevailing social winds demanded. On June 1, the PGA Tour tweeted a video celebrating PRIDE month. “The golf community welcomes all to the game we love during PRIDE month and every month.”

In Saudi Arabia, homosexuality is illegal. Gays are subject to imprisonment, flogging, deportation, and chemical castration. Good luck with gay marriage, never mind “trans rights.”

We’re not sure how the PGA Tour plans to square its current views on PRIDE month with those of their new Saudi overlords. But as we learned three years ago with the Red Sox, all the “Black Lives Matter” banners on planet Earth don’t mean a damn thing when you finish in last place after letting Mookie Betts walk.

What about female golfers? Women couldn’t operate automobiles in Saudi Arabia until 2018. Will they be able to drive on a par-5 if this entity co-opts the LPGA Tour?

When LIV Golf came to Greater Boston last year, a group of 9/11 families protested, accusing the Saudis of “sports washing.” Tuesday, 9/11 Families United said they were “betrayed” by Monahan. They weren’t the only ones.

Monahan is from Belmont. He said he knows two families who lost loved ones on 9/11.

During an interview with Jim Nantz a year ago Monday, Monahan’s message to those players who jumped to LIV was this: “Have you ever had to apologize for being a member of the PGA Tour?”

Who’s sorry now, Jay?

The hypocrisy stinks all the way to Pebble Beach.

It should not surprise anyone that Monahan once worked for Fenway Sports Group.

Monahan told CNBC this deal was all about “capital,” “unity” and the “game of golf” being better for it.

It’s been more than 35 years since Gordon Gekko explained one of the two primal human emotions in “Wall Street.”

“Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit,” Gekko (Michael Douglas) said in “Wall Street” using the words of Oliver Stone.

“Greed … will save that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.”

The jury is still out on the USA.

It is crystal-clear greed won when it came to golf.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

He wagered $50 on the Celtics to win the NBA Finals and $50 on the Bruins to win the Stanley Cup.

Turns out, the house always wins. Even when the speaker doesn’t.

The NBA Finals begin tonight … in Denver.

The Stanley Cup Finals begin Saturday … in Las Vegas.

That was not supposed to happen.

TD Garden was double-booked.

NBA Finals on Thursday.

Stanley Cup Finals on Saturday.

NBA Finals on Sunday.

Stanley Cup Finals on Monday.

The Score of Supremacy enters its second act.

Boston reclaims its throne as the Sports Hub of the Universe.

The Brady Effect, finally, purged from our ethos.

Cue the … “Price Is Right” horn.

Boston’s road was wide open. But the bridge got washed out.

Two gut-wrenching Game 7 choke jobs later, we’re stuck with 101 days of the Red Sox.

The Patriots open at home against the Eagles on Sept. 10 with 17 weeks of three-and-out.

Boston’s title drought will celebrate its fifth birthday on Feb. 3 if the Red Sox do not win the World Series.

Big “if” there.

Today is Day 1,579.

The possibility of a double Duck Boat parade in the early-summer sun warmed the Bay State all winter. The victorious Celtics and triumphant Bruins rolling down Boylston Street in joint mayhem. The glare of the Larry O’Brien Trophy and Stanley Cup shining upon a few million blind drunks.

It was all a dream.

Blades went into hibernation a month ago.

The “Greatest NHL Team Ever” blew a 3-1 series lead against the No. 8-seed Panthers in Round 1. The mighty Boston Bruins got iced by a goalie born in the Soviet Union during the Cold War. And cowed by the swagger and skill of Matthew Tkachuk.

The Curse of the Presidents’ Trophy remains more lethal than John Wick. Of the last 20 winners, only two have won the Stanley Cup. That’s a kill rate of 90%. Dogs included.

The Celtics fooled themselves and everyone else, except the Miami Heat. Boston ran out of second chances against Miami, after being pushed to Game 6 against Atlanta and Game 7 against Philly.

It’s unfair to call these Celtics “frauds.” They never pretended to be anything but a talent-heavy team lacking the “grit” necessary to win a ring.

By now, your head is spinning with trade talk, new-coach talk, and variations of the roster that somehow will be the difference next year.

The Celtics need a heart and soul transplant. Plus, an adult in the room with an NBA championship ring.

Meanwhile, Jaylen Brown just dribbled the ball off his foot. And Jayson Tatum is complaining to the refs.

Winning has been purged from the Celtics organization’s DNA.

One title in 37 years does that.

They are now the NBA’s version of “Glass Joe.” Can’t take a punch.

Lucky’s black eye may last for years.

The last bit of “Celtics Pride” perished Monday night.

With Pat Riley watching, the Miami Heat received the Bob Cousy Trophy and Jimmy Butler hoisted the Larry Bird Trophy. All this occurred on a TD Garden parquet floor that features the number “6” in honor of Bill Russell and the signature of Red Auerbach.

It was unholy. Before the Celtics think about raising Banner 18, they need to chop up the wood, throw it into a shredder, and burn the remains. A Greek Orthodox priest can perform an exorcism to purify it all.

Monday’s besmirchment came nearly a year after the Golden State Warriors celebrated an NBA championship on the same cursed timber. Steph Curry was given a trophy named for Russell as series MVP.

When you hear talk about “blowing up” the Celtics or Bruins, you might want to include TD Garden.

In addition to Game 7, the Celtics dropped two at home to open their series against the Heat before their failed impersonation of the 2004 Red Sox. They are 11-12 in their past 23 home playoff games.

The Bruins lost three home games, including Game 7, to the Panthers. The Bruins have lost seven Game 7s in their current building and watched two teams (Chicago and St. Louis) claim the Stanley Cup on that tainted ice.

How about a Little Wrecking Ball of Hate?

Boston can now boast that it is the only city ever to lose Game 7s to NBA and NHL No. 8 seeds at home in the same season.

The NBA Finals swing back to South Beach next week. That’s familiar turf given the Heat’s success of the past 20 years.

The Stanley Cup is either going to be won just off the Las Vegas Strip or behind a sprawling mall in Sunrise, Fla. Hardly Original Six territory.

The biggest question for both the Celtics and Bruins is: “Now what?”

In terms of leadership, roster make-up, and the franchises themselves.

How do you sell the Celtics next season? Will “Unfinished Business” become “Risky Business?”

How about: “No Guts. No Glory.”

Or: “5 Guys … Disappear.”

The Bruins will bamboozle the masses with endless chatter about it being their 100th season.

When you’ve won just one Stanley Cup in 51 years, ancient history is all you’ve got.

Those under 45 have no real memory of the dynastic Celtics of the 1980s. Add another decade for the Big Bad Bruins of the 1970s.

The lasting impact from this season for both the Bruins and the Celtics will be an impossibility for their fan bases to ever take the regular season seriously again.

Even if both go 82-0.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com

Game 6 often lacks the pop, punch, and power of Game 7.

Game 6 is Miley Cyrus.

Game 7 is Taylor Swift.

Game 6 is Jan.

Game 7 is Marcia.

Game 6 is Twitter Spaces.

Game 7 is Instagram Live.

Game 6 wears trifocals.

Game 7 has 20/10 vision.

Game 6 has Derrick White’s hairline.

Game 7 carries the coif of Marcus Smart.

Game 6 has a Dad Bod.

Game 7 is 2018 Gronk.

Game 6 Is Narragansett.

Game 7 is Sam Adams.

Game 6 is “Guardians of the Galaxy.”

Game 7 is “Star Wars.”

What can we expect tonight? Once in a great while, Game 6 leaves an undeniable impression. It
becomes the one we remember.

Let’s give it some respect.

Game 6 gave us Carlton Fisk.

Nearly 50 years later, Fisk’s foul-pole shot in the 12th inning of the penultimate game of the
1975 World Series at Fenway Park is as much a part of Red Sox lore as anything John Henry
could ever hope to manufacture. Game 7 was played later that same night. It was the greatest
anticlimax in Boston sports history. Most people know the Red Sox lost, but few remember the
details. I was there in the bleachers at age 10. The scar is sutured into my sports soul.

Game 6 gave us Bill Buckner.

Yes, we all know that Stanley blew it. And that Calvin Schiraldi pulled the original Schiraldi. But
Bill Buckner’s inability to put his glove to the ground has forever (unfairly) been bronzed as the
signature moment of the 1986 World Series. Game 7 came two nights later. Al Nipper
administered the final dose of pentobarbital.

Game 6 gave us Curt Schilling.

He took the mound in Game 6 at Yankee Stadium as Boston continued to claw back from its 3-0
deficit to the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS. Pitching on one leg, more or less, Schilling and the Red
Sox bled their way to 4-2 win. Game 7 was a victory lap as hell froze over in the New York
tabloids. After leaving baseball, Schilling committed treason by voting Republican. He has since
been banned in Boston by the Boston Globe’s editorial page.

Game 6 gave us 17 Seconds Of Hell

The 2013 Boston Bruins trailed Chicago 3-2 in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Boston held a
2-1 lead late in the third. But Chicago’s Bryan Bickell tied it at 18:44. Dave Bolland potted the
game-winner just 17 seconds later. And the Bruins completed the greatest collapse this side of
the Berlin Wall. Thanks, Tuukka.

Game 6 gave us “Anything Is Possible!”

Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and the rest of the Celtics demolished Kobe Bryant’s
Lakers 131-92 in Game 6 of the 2008 NBA Finals. That win clinched Banner 17. Sadly, it’s been
15 years since the Celtics won a championship. Even worse, they’ve only won one NBA title in
the past 36 Junes. Garnett’s primal “anything is possible” scream has become a staple on NBA
hype reels.

Of the 150 teams who lost the first three games of an NBA playoff series, the Celtics are the just
15th to reach Game 6. Only three forced a Game 7.

And, of course, none has ever completed the four-game comeback.

“1-150?”

“Why Not Us?”

Depends on which version of the Celtics opts to appear. Boston waited until the final quarter of
Game 4 to arrive in this series. Aside from Jayson Tatum’s historic play in Game 7 against the
Sixers, the Celtics have historically underperformed this postseason.

Boston should have dispatched Atlanta and Philly in no more than five games apiece. That the
Celtics never peak until their literal and metaphorical backs are against the wall is – in a word –
frustrating.

The Celtics were a substantial favorite before this series. Boston was allegedly healthy, deeper,
and more talented. Unfortunately for three-plus games, the Celtics lacked the grit and balls that drove
Garnett & Co. in 2008.

The Heat ran at room temperature in Game 5 without the injured Gabe Vincent. That Vincent
has emerged as perhaps the Heat’s Non-Jimmy Butler MVP is a tell at just how deep Miami has
dug into its roster.

The Celtics were vintage Aerosmith on Thursday night. They found their harmony and jammed
non-stop while rocking the house. “Back In The Saddle” for 48 minutes.

But you don’t get a Duck Boat parade for winning Game 5 in the Eastern Conference Finals. Or
Game 6, either.

While pieces of the calamitous narrative sown earlier this week may have tempered, the season
ranks as a “Major Fail” if the NBA Finals do not begin in Boston next Thursday night. Whether it
is viewed as an historic choke job, or just a major disappointment, won’t really matter.

Joe Mazzulla may have saved his job by not getting swept. But if Mazzulla does return, it would
only be out of convenience and deference to his alleged benefactor, Tatum.

In much the same way Bill O’Brien was brought in to reclaim the Patriots offense at the behest
of Robert Kraft, Mazzulla will have an adult presence or two in his coaching staff. Whether he
wants it or not.

The same holds with the lineup. Substantial change is inevitable even if the Celtics were to
sweep this home-and-home with Miami. Just how deep and drastic that change will be depends
much on what happens tonight – and Monday in Game 7.

If necessary.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com)

Boston trails Miami 3-0 in the Eastern Conference Finals. Game 4 is in South Florida tonight.

Miami’s airport abbreviation is MIA. The Celtics have been all that in more during this series. Boston was DOA 10 minutes into Game 3. By the start of the fourth quarter, it was RIP for this run to the NBA Finals. Afterward, the entire basketball universe asked “WTF?”

In 2023, the DNA of the Celtics no longer includes winning championships. It’s been 15 years. This version lacks heart, hustle, and muscle. They are more 1998 than 2008. They’ve replaced “Ubuntu” with “Oh, not you, too?”

The good news? According to ESPN Analytics, the Celtics still have a 114% chance to win this series.

The motto of these Celtics has morphed from “Unfinished Business” to “Next Question.”

There will be so many this offseason.

Will the coach be fired? Will they offer Jaylen Brown a max contract? How much more Marcus Smart can anyone take? Has anyone seen Al Horford?

We slammed the Celtics in this space on Sunday for not backing up Grant Williams’ after he dared to “poke the bear” that is Jimmy Butler Friday night. Everyone else caught up Monday.

After Game 2, Brown infamously answered “next question” when asked about Williams’ tête-a-tête with Jimmy Buckets.

No one trash talked Gabe Vincent Sunday.

Yet, the undrafted Miami guard outscored Jayson Tatum and Brown combined with 29 points for the victorious and dominant Heat.

Sunday, after the Celtics were curb-stomped by the Heat 128-102, Brown said the loss was “embarrassing” and that the team let down its “fan base, organization,” and “ourselves.”

If he only was able to do something about it.

Gary Washburn of the Globe tweeted that Brown is “biting his tongue from telling his truth,” “has a lot on his mind,” and that there are “real issues in that locker room.”

How long will it take for Brown to claim he is a victim of systemic oppression?

Brown’s self-castigation rings as hollow as he and his teammates.

Anything to avoid the box score.

Brown’s “truth” will never be confused with Paul Pierce’s.

Neither Brown nor Tatum have met the challenge in this series. At least Tatum got you here.

In terms of choke jobs, Brown is trying to surpass the 2023 Bruins all by himself. Brown’s only “real issue” is that he went a combined 13-for-40 in Games 2 and 3 while hitting just 1 of 14 attempted 3-pointers. He has been outscored by both Caleb Martin and Vincent in this series.

Don’t be surprised if we get a 2023 version of “chicken and beer” soon. We’ll be told about locker room dysfunction. That the team was split into factions. That Tatum and Brown barely communicated all season. Blah. Blah. Blah.

None of this good stuff is ever reported in real time. It if was, thousands would have saved millions backing this team to win the NBA Finals.

The Celtics lost the Finals last year, in part, because they were awestruck by being on the same court with Steph Curry, committed 100 turnovers, and possessed a glaring lack of offensive production off the bench.

Their effort was never questioned, even if their “inner dog” had long since been neutered.

Joe Mazzulla can only shoulder so much of the blame for this Old Testament calamity. The 34-year-old rookie coach went straight from the kiddie pool to the shark tank. The devilish duo of Erik Spoelstra and Pat Riley would give the Ghost of Red Auerbach fits. Don’t blame Clueless Joe for taking advantage of the opportunity he got this season thanks to Ime Udoka’s boorish behavior.

Mazzulla wasn’t up to the part of the job that included having his team “ready to play” in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals when it was in an 0-2 hole.

The NBA is a player’s league. It has been since Magic Johnson tuned out Paul Westhead 42 years ago. His trade request in 1981 resulted in Riley becoming coach of the Lakers.

Could Boston be headed for its fourth coach in four years? This team is ailing. Can Nick Nurse be a healer? Should they page Doc Rivers?

No coach can fix what’s wrong with this group.

In the words of Taylor Swift: “It isn’t love. It isn’t hate. It’s just indifference.”

Eddie House flat-out said the “Celtics quit on their coach” during the NBC Sports Boston post-mortem Sunday. This team has a thing for quitting on coaches. They did it to Brad Stevens, too.

The situation is so despondent for the Celtics that Magic and Charles Barkley expressed their sympathies.

Can it get any worse?

Magic tweeted it was “time for the Boston Celtics to make major changes,” after posting that “I never thought I’d see a Boston Celtics team, a franchise with 17 Championships, quit. I know Celtics fans all over the world must be disgusted and devastated.”

Barkley ripped Boston’s lack of “mental toughness” and mentioned Larry Bird, Kevin Garnett, Kevin McHale, Pierce and even M.L. Carr (he of the towels) among Boston legends who have been aggrieved by this team.

“They have the toughness of a flea.”

Sir Charles saw the Biscayne Bay Iceberg at halftime.

““I’m embarrassed for the Celtics,” Barkley said when Boston was losing by only 15 points. “The lack of mental toughness, it’s embarrassing. That was embarrassing as a Celtics fan.”

After the game, the triumphant Vincent tried to pay the Celtics some respect.

“They’re a really good team, a well-coached team. They got stars. They’re not gonna lay down,” Vincent said on TNT.

Barkley wasn’t having any of it. “Yeah, clearly you didn’t watch the game tonight. Well-coached and don’t lay down? Go look at the tape again.”

No thanks, Chuck.

We’ve seen enough.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF & @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1#@gmail.com.

They are two losses from joining “The Departed.”

Game 3 is tonight in South Beach.

“The Verdict” after choking away Games 1 and 2 at home to “The Heat”?

“Knives Out” for Joe Mazzulla.

The late-game “Spotlight” has been too bright for Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum and their teammates.

There has been no “Celtic Pride” on display thus far against Miami. Nor does this team appear to be getting “Stronger.” They might as well have been taking a dip at Singing Beach in “Manchester By The Sea.”

Miami’s Jimmy Butler has reprised his role as the “Boston Strangler” this spring.

In Games 1 and 2, Butler averaged 31 points, 6.5 boards and 6.5 assists. He scored nine points during Miami’s 24-9 run that closed out Game 2, after scoring seven in the final 6:48 of Game 1.

“How do you like them apples?”

Yes, Grant Williams “poked the bear.” But the Celtics played like taller versions of “Ted,” getting stuffed during the third quarter of Game 1 and final minutes of Game 2.

Just as troubling, no one in a Celtics uniform backed up Williams on or off the court after he went head-to-head with Butler. Williams was left alone on Butler by his overmatched coach. Still, Williams made Boston’s last three baskets of the game. His Celtics teammates, however, proceeded to miss their final five shots.

After it was over, Brown pulled a classic “Fredo.”

This film nod, too, ties back to Massachusetts. In “The Godfather,” Fredo Corleone aligns with Moe Greene against his brother Michael (Al Pacino). Greene was played by the late Alex Rocco. Born in Cambridge as Alex Petricone, Rocco was a real-life member of the Winter Hill Gang in Somerville. In his pre-Hollywood life, he was arrested three times, admitted to being a bookie, and did jail time after being involved in a diner brawl.

When asked about Williams’ antics after the game, Brown took sides against the family with a terse “next question,” tossing his teammate aside with “Malice.”

Brown and Butler’s “Love Story” is a true bromance. They are close friends off the court. Brown probably did not want to risk missing out on an invite to Butler’s next “Patriots Day” bash.

While Celtics State Run Media chose to vilify Williams, it was Brown who went 7-for-23 from the floor in Game 2 and hit one of seven attempted 3-pointers. Just three of his 16 points came in the fourth quarter. Brown missed his final three shots.

Sounds like a max contract guy to me.

Brown has now called out fans and failed to support his own teammate in public. If he wants someone to blame for this team’s current predicament, perhaps he should log into “The Social Network” and check his homepage. Or follow @FCHWPO on Twitter or Instagram.

The in-game adjustments and planning of Miami coach Erik Spoelstra have offered “The Perfect Storm” in stopping Boston’s top two players in crunch time.

Tatum has yet to make a fourth-quarter field goal. Tatum has been going to the basket and picking up fouls. He’s hit all 11 fourth-quarter free throws in this series.

Tatum has outscored Butler in the series, averaging 32 points. Sadly, those points have carried far less impact. Math notwithstanding. Tatum lacks the grit of an Eddie Coyle (Robert Mitchum) or the edgy sophistication of a Thomas Crown (the Steve McQueen version). But he’s the best player in the NBA when he is at his best. We saw that in Game 7 against Philly.

(Rocco appeared with Mitchum in “The Friends of Eddie Coyle.”)

While you aim all your anger at Williams, here are two numbers to mute the narrative that his talk trashed Boston’s hope of a Game 2 victory.

Boston was outrebounded 45-35. The Celtics committed nine turnovers, while forcing just two. That’s a net of 17 possessions for the Heat, and a potential 51 points if they resulted in 3-pointers.

Even if Williams responded to Butler in sign language, or in the soft, alluring voice of “CODA’s” Ruby, Butler was going to strike like the great-white shark in “Jaws.”

Like so many others who went to Marquette, Butler is a subtle genius. He happily went along with the narrative Friday. To a point.

“When people talk to me, I’m like, ‘OK, I know I’m a decent player, if you want to talk to me out of everyone that you can talk to?’ But it’s just competition. I do respect (Williams) though. He’s a big part of what they try to do. He switches. He can shoot the ball. I just don’t know if I’m the best person to talk to,” Butler said.

Williams, in true Bay State-based movie protagonist form, delivered a profanity-filled explanation of his actions.

“I’m a competitor and I’m gonna battle,” Williams said. “My mom always taught me, and my dad as well, you get your (expletive) kicked and you don’t come back home until you come battle again. You either come back before you die, or you come back and get a win — and I’m not willing to die in this Finals. I’m ready to come back and get a (expletive) win.”

Because the Celtics have blown second-half leads in both games at home, this series has fans ready for a leap into “Mystic River,” or even worse, to check themselves into “Shutter Island.”

Boston must win four of five against the Sons of Pat Riley, which include three games in Miami-Dade County.

Otherwise, they’ll be “Gone Baby Gone.”

And forever join the 2023 Bruins as “Uncut Gems.”

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com. Let him know If your favorite Massachusetts-tied film didn’t make it.

His “Whose Car We Gonna Take?” sweatshirt was the second-biggest star of the Celtics-Sixers series.

We’ve been told that Mazzulla watches the 124-minute Ben Affleck film as often as four times a week. The players have become ensnared in his devotion to the Boston/Charlestown-based crime drama. It has become a muse for these Celtics.

“I think it’s ‘Whose car are we taking?’ I think that’s the saying,” said Sixth Man of The Year Malcolm Brogdon (via NESN’s Sean T. McGuire) about the team’s connection to the film. “And it’s basically just ride or die for your guys, the guys you’re on the court with, the guys you’re competing with. It’s having the mentality (of) it doesn’t matter what we’re going to get into, we’re going to do it together.”

That is true, especially the “ride or die” part.

(Spoiler alert) After surviving a botched robbery of Fenway Park, Affleck’s character Doug MacRay pulls a Tom Brady and departs the chilly climes of Greater Boston for Florida. In his wake, he leaves a stumbling, bumbling FBI agent (played by Jon Hamm). And a big bag of cash buried in a garden. Its mission is to fund the restoration of a decrepit hockey rink in the literal Town, to be named in his late mother’s honor.

While Affleck’s gang ripped off Fenway in “The Town,” the Celtics robbed their hometown fans blind again on Wednesday. Boston is 11-11 in its past 22 postseason games at the TD Garden / Red Auerbach Day Care Center.

Kudos to Deuce on his slam-dunk Wednesday.

There is another second notable line from “The Town” the Celtics must adopt for the rest of their series against the Miami Heat and the Finals.

It is a preface to the quote on Mazzula’s sweatshirt. A question Affleck’s character Doug MacRay asks his pal Jem Coughlin, played by Jeremy Renner.

“I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we’re gonna hurt some people.”

It’s time for the Celtics to hurt some people. No matter whose car they take.

We’re not, of course, talking about shooting someone in the leg or beating them with nightsticks. That might still be a crime in Massachusetts.

We are talking about harassing Jimmy Butler for 43 minutes, defending the perimeter against the likes of Kyle Lowry, and smothering Bam Adebayo as if he were on fire.

Gloating about winning three of four quarters is the NBA equivalent of a gluten-free, bubble-wrapped, participation trophy.

If the Celtics truly wish to emulate MacRay, Coughlin, and the rest of the second-generation bank robbers in “The Town,” they need to be basketball dangerous for four quarters.

Jaylen Brown agrees. “We came out too cool. It was almost as if we were playing a regular-season game,” he said of Game 1.

Brown and the Celtics have uttered similar statements during this postseason of predictable unpredictability.

Perhaps the Celtics need to take the court for Game 2 wearing nun masks?

Whatever results in 48 minutes of killer ball in consecutive postseason games.

The Heat showed all how that is done Wednesday. Jimmy Butler is the real-life Doug MacRay in this series. He “clipped” the Celtics in the groin with 35 points, 7 assists and 6 steals. He also served as the fulcrum of Miami’s offense. His presence allowed wide open threes to fly and fall from the likes of Gabe Vincent and Max Strus. Both Vincent and Strus had as many 3-pointers (three) as Al Horford, Tatum, and Brown – combined.

The Game 1 loss was a true team effort. Non-existent defense, soft play, a half-hearted effort, 46 points allowed in one quarter, and those timeouts.

By the time Mazzulla flung his clip board during a TV timeout in the third during Miami’s surge, he had long lost his team. It’s way too late to start throwing clipboards in May when you’ve been coddling your players since November.

The Celtics don’t need to become thug-like. But they do need to know where and when to strike as if they were robbing the Bay Bank in Harvard Square.

This means playing defense for the whole game. Hitting your free-throws. (Boston missed 7 in Game 1). And making sure Tatum gets the ball on every possession when he is on the floor, preferably by half-court. Whether head coach Marcus Smart or his assistant Mazzulla makes sure that happens.

Tatum showed the world what he is capable of in Game 7 on Mother’s Day. But he’s no Townie. He spent much of the second half Wednesday trying unsuccessfully to fight through one- and two-man screens. He took just 4 shots in the second half, had 0 field goals in the final 12:40, and turned the ball over three times in an excruciating 101-second stretch late in the fourth.

Erik Spolestra’s defense happily allowed Smart and Horford to shoot a combined 6-for-15 and 3-for-9 from behind the arc. Smart’s three gave Boston a 71-59 lead with 10:55 to play in the third. Over the next 4:03, Boston’s lead disappeared as the team went without a basket. Smart, Horford, and Smart missed consecutive open threes.

The path for the Celtics to the Finals could not have been any cleaner, at least on paper. Atlanta was a No. 7 seed. Philly has been Boston’s lap dog for 60 years. The No. 8 seed Heat took care of No. 1 Milwaukee, guaranteeing Boston homecourt.

Perhaps Mazzulla the Celtics can give “The Town” one more peek before Friday night.

Here’s one more quote for their consideration. It’s from MacRay at the end of the film.

“No matter how much you change, you still have to pay the price for the things you’ve done. So, I got a long road.”

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.

Bobby Orr became a bronze statue on this holiday in 1970.

Fifty-three years later, it’s Jayson Tatum’s turn to give birth to bedlam in Boston with a monumental performance in Game 7 against the Philadelphia 76ers.

A victory pushes the Celtics into the NBA Eastern Conference Finals.

Need some motivation before tipoff? Here’s our plan.

In darkness under the spotlight, Deuce Tatum is carried into TD Garden dressed as a Wakandan prince. The procession is led by Paul Pierce and Queen Ramonda herself, Viola Davis. Celtics cheerleaders toss rose petals. Meanwhile, a PG version of Kendrick Lamar’s “Big Shot” fills the arena.

If that doesn’t inspire Deuce Sr. to score at least 2 points in the first half, nothing will.

To fire up the masses, Big Papi, Kevin Garnett, Julian Edelman, and Rob Gronkowski then emerge. They each wave a Celtics flag while creating the world’s largest sports book commercial for DraftDuelMGMBet.

Finish with some vintage clips from Game 7 of the 1981 Eastern Conference Finals on the big screen and Philly has no shot.

Today marks the 8th time these two franchises have met in a Game 7. Boston has won five of them.

But the 2023 iteration of the NBA’s most prolific postseason rivalry has a distinct, if not pungent, scent. This time, the protagonists lack a championship pedigree. Long gone in the rafters are Wilt, Russell, Bird, McHale, Dr. J., and Moses Malone. And their rings.

James Harden’s history is littered with postseason disappointments in Oklahoma City, Houston, Brooklyn, and Philly. Joel Embiid is an MVP who has yet to reach the conference finals. Tatum, Jaylen Brown, Marcus Smart, and the rest of the Celtics whiffed badly against Golden State in 2022.

Doc Rivers did win a ring coaching the Celtics to their last title … 15 YEARS AGO.

(Hard to believe it’s been 15 years.)

But even Doc has lost his mojo since leaving Boston. He, too, has yet to reach the conference finals since 2012 with the Celtics.

Today’s winner gets Jimmy Butler and the Miami Heat. The eighth-seeded Heat, who needed to win a play-in game just to reach the playoffs, brushed off the Knicks Friday night. There’s a lot to love about Jimmy Buckets. For one, he went to Marquette along with Rivers, and yours truly. Butler is also the consummate overachiever, especially in the playoffs.

No one playing today on either team can make that claim with any credibility.

But let’s not be foolish enough to get ahead of things when dealing with the 2023 Boston Celtics.

This Green Team has been predictably unpredictable and consistently inconsistent this postseason.

It remains to be determined if the current version of the Celtics is immensely talented but possess neither grit nor balls, are an overrated lot, historic underachievers (see your Boston Bruins), all the above, or none of the above.

The Celtics today can continue to chip away at the perception that they lack the internal motivation and mental fortitude to succeed at the most critical moments of the postseason.

There were two encouraging moments after Game 6 Friday night.

One: Jaylen Brown calling out Celtics fans.

“Celtics fans, y’all love to call us out, right?” Brown said when asked about today’s crowd. “I’m gonna call you guys out this time. The energy in the Garden has been OK, at best, all playoffs. Game 7, if you’re there or if you’re not there. If you’re at home, if you are watching at a bar, if you are watching down the street at a friend’s house, I don’t care. I need you to be up. No excuses. We need everybody. I’m calling you guys out. Let’s make sure the Garden is ready to go.”

That’s exactly what we heard from the likes of Brady and Ortiz over the years. Brown, perhaps secure with the likelihood of a max contract, spoke like someone who wants to be The Alpha Dog and do it while playing for the Celtics.

The TD Garden faithful could use some encouragement. It’s hard to get too excited when the Celtics are 7-9 in their past 16 home playoff games. It’s even more difficult to wildly back the home team when two tickets in Row 7, Section 312 of the nosebleeds cost $681.91 (including fees) via Ticketmaster the day before the game. That view includes both the parquet floor and Runway 4R/22L at Logan Airport.

Two: Tatum finding his inner Muhammad Ali and “humbly” declaring himself one of the “best basketball players in the world.”

If you don’t believe you’re one of the best basketball players in the world, no one else will. Today’s playoff game is Tatum’s 87th in a Celtics uniform. But he has yet to fully earn the trust of this fanbase.

To wit: Game 6.

For 43 minutes Friday, Tatum had the Celtics on a path for The Offseason From Hell. He missed 14 of his first 15 shots and scored one point in the first half. And in a scary replay of last year’s NBA Finals, he gave away the ball four times.

Then coach Joe Mazzulla told him to “Go get the (expletive) ball” (via Jay King of The Athletic) during a timeout. A timeout. Imagine that.

Tatum entered the final five minutes of Game 6 as a bewildered and still-stuck-emotionally-on-19 wanna-be superstar. He then took control.

Tatum hit three consecutive three-balls and outscored the Sixers 16-13 in the fourth quarter. He emerged as the 25-year-old All-Universe player he purports to be.

Time to do it again today.

Every statue must start somewhere.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF and @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1@gmail.com.